Driving Around and Thinking

Did you see that movie "Pretty in Pink" directed by John Hughes starring Molly Ringwald? It was a great film and one of my favorites when I was a teenager. Who couldn't relate to that girl? She was so cool. She was poor, but she had a part-time job. She was the daughter of an alcoholic father who was still nursing a broken heart over her mother who left them years ago. Since her father doesn't hold a job, she can't afford all the expensive clothes that she sees many of the "popular" girls wearing, so she makes her own out of cheap and used material and creates her own style. She tolerates the peers that make fun of her. Although she doesn't have any cheerleaders telling her to do well in school, she wants to be successful in life so she makes her education important and disciplines herself to achieve excellent marks. She's a role model for any teens who feel lost and alone and not sure what to do at the doorway to adulthood. I loved that movie. I mention it now because there was one specific scene that seems to deja-vu through my mind as I begin the second half of my life. The scene where she is sitting in her cute little pink car and staring at the "richies" houses. "I wonder if they know how amazing their house is?" she asks her friend. Thirty-three years have passed since I graduated from high school. I've had many jobs, many cars, and seen many cities and towns. Yet whenever I see a house that I think is charming and beautiful, I park and pause for a moment and ask the same thing - "I wonder if they know how amazing their house is?"

I know how big the world is. I know how each state in the U.S. is vast and varied. I know there are differences in laws, politics, cultures, cuisines, and language. I also know that people are people and for the most part we tend to desire the same desires. We want to be loved. We want to be healthy and safe. We want to make those who love us proud if we can. We want to contribute to the world and be recognized for some contribution. I think these are basic parts of human nature. In my travels, I looked around carefully at how different people made their communities. Some live in tall skyscrapers with incredible views of the whole city. Some live in small cottages far away from the hustle and bustle or not too far away in a subdivision of Suburbia. Some choose an RV or mobile home just in case they decide to leave. Some never call anywhere home and only utilize time share. Some inherit a house or a condo. Some get a mortgage. Some prefer to pay rent for whatever benefits the rent comes with. No one is right or wrong for whatever path they choose in order to establish a home. The hard part is really finding out which path is the best path for you. I don't like to stay at one job for a long time, so a mortgage isn't a good path for me. I don't like poor customer service or broken promises, so rent doesn't work for me too much either especially when the price of rent is painstakingly unaffordable. It doesn't motivate me to earn more money. It only creates a bitterness and anger about the place I want to call home. Add their silly rules and application process, and the rent situation seems like a journey through hell.

I am a native American. Both me and my son were born on the land known as The United States of America. The blood of foreigners runs through us, but the spilled blood of the natives of this terrain also runs through us. The Declaration of Independence made the U.S.A. an official country over 246 years ago. My family helped define the 20th century, and our children are creating the 21st century now. As I drive around the city I live in now, I take note of how it is thriving and what I think is good and successful, and what I think is weak, needs help, or is bad or an eyesore. To love yourself and your home, is to also love the town or city that you find yourself in. They are not separate entities no matter how many walls you put up or how many fences you build. They are connected, and to ignore that fact only serves to diminish the power of the civilization or community you call "home". People might call me a hypocrite when I state this now, recalling how harsh my opinions have been about medical facilities, insurance companies, and other service companies that did not keep their promises, but took good hard-earned money for false advertising and cheap, breakable, unworthy products or services. I am a forgiving old soul and I understand that mistakes happen, and that humanity is not flawless. If my expressed opinons about such events seemed harsh to others, they should imagine the shock I felt about calling a place "home" that would deliver such awfulness. My critiques should serve for improvement and be heeded, not admonished with distaste because of my anger or choice of words. The truth will make a city great, not lip service just to get a free donut.

I still drive around the city and look at how we live. I still see houses and try to imagine what life is like in each house I see. I've heard the real estate agents. I've seen the listings and the prices. Maybe that seems "normal" to you, but to me, it seems unfathomable. I've never earned more than 30k in any year of my life or work history. Never. And they think I can accept or believe or promote the sale of less than a quarter acre of land with a cheap two bedroom house going at the rate of $350,000? Maybe someone can afford that. But if they could, why would they want to? In the 80s, a $50k mortgage at 30 years was costing the buyers about $600 per month not including utilities, repeairs, insurance, cars, gas, or any other living expense. That was only 50k and then it was on a brand new 3-bedroom/2 bathroom house with a garage. Have you ever paid $600 per month for five years? Or 10 years? I have. How about 20 years? 30 years? No. Didn't make it. Foreclosure? Eviction? Homelessness? I know. It's pure horror. If 50k was 600 per month 30 years ago, what's it today at that price? $4000 per month? If we couldn't make it at $600 per month when the economy was strong, what makes anyone think they can make a mortgage that is 7 times worse work? I just don't see it. I just can't believe it. With that kind of information, I can't be positive to a future generation about real estate or the old-fashioned American dream. I need new information. I need new methods and ways in order for me to sing nice songs for our children and their hopes and dreams of home ownership and family life. Those numbers only sing of inevitable doom.

What's worse is there are photos and videos of cities across the nation that have hundreds of abandoned buildings and houses. That's what makes it so much worse. Across the street I see new storage buildings being built and new condominiums ready to collect rent or mortgage prices. Yet all over the internet there are photos and videos of cities that have houses that no one wants to buy for even $100. Why? What's wrong with this logic? It can't just be location or weather. I think it's deeper than that. Why are there still people sleeping at a bus stop? Why are there some areas of towns or cities where people set up "tent camps" as homeless shelters? Why does my city have so many pawn shops and thrift shops and free food pantries? Why is it so hard to find a bathroom or a place to take a shower when you're traveling by road? Why are cruise ship and train travel trips more expensive than airplane trips? Why? Is it a matter of supply and demand? Is it a matter of greed? Or is it more like "invitation only" which is truly a slap in the face to any Americans who were born here and didn't get an invitation.

Thirty years ago they still called the U.S.A. the "land of milk and honey" and "the melting pot". Did you notice that restaurant is gone? Do you ever look and notice how many empty buildings exist in your town or city? Have you ever once stopped to ask why? Or do you just rush by to get in line for your favorite burger at the drive through on your way to the shopping mall to get the latest pair of jeans that cost $500 or a new purse with some label and a price tag that costs more than someone's rent? I'm just wondering. I used to be oblivious. Even after a few falls and homeless shelters, I was still oblivious. I just kept thinking to myself in some kind of warped ego-centric perspective, that if I was doing well, then the rest of the world was doing well also. It's absolutely ridiculous, I know that now. But even if you know that thinking is ridiculous, you'd be shocked to see just how many people truly subscribe to that ego-centric thinking. Hard to believe they are actually alive, isn't it? They have the right to call themselves human? I guess if you can call a chihuahua a dog, then I guess we can call them human. But I think they are seriously lacking in humanity or humane compassion.

I don't fantasize about having a mansion or a million dollars anymore. The people I love most have survived without all that for my whole life. They don't love me because I do or don't have money. They don't care if I wear the most expensive clothes. They still don't like my smoking or my cursing mouth, but they love me and that has a value that defies insane prices. The bottom of Maslov's pyramid included basic needs: food, shelter, safety. That's very simple and is not considered "self-actualized". Yet, when the society or civilization makes "living the dream" Mission Impossible, then the bottom of the pyramid is where the "pursuit of happiness" ends on a dead end street.