Do Black Lives Matter To Blacks

Do Black Lives Really Matter To Black People?

We Mirror One Another.

I am a 79 year old black woman. I live in very depressed part of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.. There is much bloodshed where I live...Just about daily. This is what I see, ‘Black Live Don’t Matter’ from my own people.

Do Black Lives Matter To Blacks?

Many Black/AFRICAN AMERICANS-marched in the Black Lives Matter protest, for George Floyd, and many other Black men murdered, with our hands raised high, in a clenched fist, in unity and solidarity. Then, when night comes, we return to our neighborhoods and homes, to deliver carnage. We proceed to kill one another with all the venom of hatred, and now a fist that holds guns, drugs, rapes, fists of gossip, destroying other's properties and more...all destruction of ‘Black Lives Do Not MATTER.’

And when the next daylight return, with another demonstration for Black Lives Matter, we are out there against chanting, “Black Lives Matter.” When will our own see that Black Lives Matter? How can we get others to see, when we, can not get our own to see? Such hypocrisy!!! It began with me. Searching my heart and soul.

Do we realize if we, Black Folks, did not act out in those audacious ways, police wouldn’t need to come into our neighborhoods? At least not for all of the carnage we inflict upon ourselves. Raising our fists in solidarity is fine. Raising our firsts in unity is fine. Raising our voices is fine. Fighting injustices is fine. But fighting and killing one another is not fine. Unfortunately, that alone will not stop the police injustice because of systematic racism.

BLACKS ON BLACK RACISM!

The question, I ask myself, through the dissecting of my soul, through the studying of the history of prejudice/racism in America, ' Am I prejudice/racist?’ The answer comes back to me, through self-evaluation, a resounding YES! Looking at the mote in my own eyes. Damn right! In many ways, I am. Not necessarily as a Hitler racist, but I am racist, through the racist mentality and subtle actions of the environment I was born into. I have to be racist, so to survive in a systematic racist system and to stay within the racist laws.

I live every day in a systematic racist society. Can I put it away, or dismiss it? No!  Why? Because I am confronted with it every day of my live, by others and by my Black people.  

(I use “live” in place of life, throughout this writing, because many are struggling to survive life in our today’s world. We have many who live, but have no life-Walking Dead.)

Blacks, in America, are just as prejudice towards their own, as they were condition, trained to be, and do. And, through the brainwashing and control, during the trip to America, and after landing here on American soil, and living here in America; In most cases, subtle, but quite blatant, in ways, that we are not aware of at all times. Much comes in most cases, through the subconscious and subliminal messaging. Un-noticeable, but noticeable, (especially in a job setting, if one pays attention). It is happenings all around us. It is reinforced every day by the Black and White mans living lives. However, most White men are just not aware of his racism as the Black man is aware of the White man's racist acts against him. I need to know, confront, so to understand the truth, so to begin to repent, for reconciliation, so to heal. Three great reads of much validation, confirmation, clarity with much understanding are, ”Black Like Me” and ”The Black Man and The Church”, both by John Howard Griffin, and “Uncomfortable Conversation With A Black Boy” by Emmanuel Acho.

Another reason why Blacks are racist because if they think, they are accepted by the Whites, they feel as though they have made the grade and take on the attitude of the White man’s disposition; Even though they experience the stings of racism being incurred by the White man. Many will not acknowledge it, for many various reasons. One, they don’t want to be seen as going against the White man, because it may return in a negative way. Not to mention, the White man temporal favors that may come in doing the White man’s nefariousness towards our own. However, in those White man favors, comes the distrust of the White man towards the Blacks. If you turn on your own-Black-what would you do towards me-Whites-and others? Others, meaning handicap, street people, the poor, elderly people of what they perceived as a lesser value. Double edge sword.

The White man's level of superiority and our conditioning and training of inferiority is so deeply ingrained in our DNA, that it has now become innate in our make up...it seems. (Like Adam and Eve infection of their sin, has become our DNA.)

And many may think because they speak, 'they are not prejudiced/racist, that they are not. Even in the dismissal of speaking about it, our true soul actions speaks far louder and truer than any verbal words can say.  In most cases, it goes further than feelings, as it is ingrained through unawareness of being conditioned by way of body language, facial expressions, and thought process, in one’s everyday simple living. The thought process is the most dangerous, insidious, and the hardest to unlearn. It is a mindset.

White man’s superior and dismissive/abortive attitude is the loudest talk ever. That also means in that actual physical turning one’s back to another deliberately. It is so mean and hurtful. I wonder when I speak, with my body language, my facial expression, and what I say all matching, is intimidating to them? It probably is. And because I may speak with so much enthusiasm, hype, energy,  expression, and passion, another word, anger, and my naturally loud speaking, is taken as I am going to explode into a gun-toting, knife wheeling, foul mouth, upsetting the balance of the situation-my foul mouth maybe.  But if one stop and think about it, the balance has always been upsetting, the first day an African was brought from Africa by White men, and set foot on American soil under the White man's insidious, nefarious degrading, diabolical, very pernicious rules, laws, and conditioning.

White People Fear Of Black People. How it Works.

Why do you see me as Black instead of a human being first? Don’t you understand, that is how I see you first, as White instead of a human being first. Do you see how it works? Do you understand how it works? When you landed on my land in Africa, you saw Black skin first, not human beings, except in the context of using Blacks as slaves. That was the extent of our being human. Being, took the lead, instead of human first.

The White man, asks, ”why are Black people so angry?” My answer comes in the form of a question.

Why, is the White man so fearful of the Black man?  Could it be, that deep down inside, they too, know the level of what their ancestor's enslaved action has produced; through their predisposition, pernicious acts? Through their enslaving of the Black man, and the brainwashing and mind-altering conditioning?  It is said, the very thing we hate is the very thing we become.  So the White man fears if we have a chance, to become what he had shown to us, that if we become powerful over him, we will do the same to him. Eye for an eye mindset? So it does appear, we have become that, what we hate, in many ways.

We can not take clean clothe and clean water, to wash up a dirty surface, without that dirt tainting the clean cloth and clean water.

And even further than that, our first parents-Adam and Eve. They seem to have created monsters.  They open Pandor's box and could not close it. But all are not monsters, and all is not lost. For every monster was created from a Spirit of goodness and love. It is a choice of the Soul. In that Pandora box, are many beautiful gifts and treasures. We Black people are a group of people who are extremely capable of being very forgiving and loving if given a chance.  But how can White people, expect us to be completely forgiving and forgetting when every day we are faced with their actions, their laws, with some sort of prejudice; when we are judged by the color of our skin first and foremost?  So I ask them, how do we do that? Again, I do believe it is not futile. There is hope!!! There is hope because there is Christ Jesus!

Can it be expected, Black people to be able to forgive and to forget so easily, when many white people are not so forgiving and definitely, I repeat, definitely not so forgetting, and refuse to talk about it because of their fears, and maybe shame, and God knows what else? For, I do believe they are aware, to a degree, and that they feel some shame from the stained legacy left to them by their ancestors. Even in the best of true Black forgiveness, they are aware of and know there are White people, who are still in the mindset that all African American/Black people are beneath all White people in some way, shape, or form. White people are superior! Black people are inferior! While it may seem very subtle, at the same time, it is blatantly obvious. This is ingrained and engraved on their souls and our souls. For all humans, whether White, Black, all races, are guilty. We both are the inflicted, and the inflicters. All are complicit.

As one of my White prominent church leaders sent me a note-attach to the abortion piece given me read, "At the rate of Black abortions, the Blacks, will become insignificant." The keyword I am centering on is, “ INSIGNIFICANT”. My response to that was first anger and then I realized, we have always been deemed as insignificant by the White man from day one even before coming to America...still is!!!

The promise of ” life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” was not afforded to the Black man and Native Americans. Very few of us live life, but we do live. Here again, live in the place of life. The promise of free speech was not afforded the Black man.

If Black Lives Truly Matter, all Black people will have to show that they, themselves, believe that Black Lives Matter. By stopping the killing of one another. By not stealing from one another. By relinquishing the jealousy attitude. By disliking another for no real good reason. By truly giving and helping one without looking for something back from them, except true love. Truly, FREE LOVE! By truly loving their others, their neighbors, family, and friends. (The others are strangers.)

A segment from my “We Are All Racist” writing. The connection.

Slavery is a dictatorship. I(t) tells us what, where, and when to do whatever. I(t) tells us how, when, and what to think. I(t) tells us how, when, where, and what to eat. I(t) tells us when, where, and what to speak. I(t) tells us how and where to live. I(t) tells us how to buy, what we can afford to buy, and where we can buy. We are told, not to use our minds. Not to use our uniqueness, but to use your slave owners' uniqueness, which does not afford us to use your good life of pleasantries, I wonder, how much of this is a factor in the ADHD/ADD situations? This is racism. And in that dictatorship was the beginning of the WELFARE system.

We as African Americans/Blacks, in America, is the White man's creation, in many ways, through the invasive display, arrogant enactment of their hatred of the Black man. But, not all of it, because we do have a choice, but not always an-a good outcome-alternative.  (These books, ”Slaves In The Family" by Edward Ball, and “Slavery by Another Name” by Douglas Blackmon, are good reads.)  The White man sowed racism, here in America, and now he is unhappy with the crop it is giving out. And he feels as though it is an unjust crop at that. The fruits of his planting or sowing are racism returning to him. Again, he has problems understanding this fact of the fruits of his labor. (Galatians 6:7-8)

The White man perceived security was built, on the conditioning and backs of the Black man's insecurity. We were condition to be insecure. We were told and taught to fear you. We were taught, conditioned to lie, from the Master liar, and condemned for what we were taught; conditioned, and told to do-lie! In most cases, the White man lied to deceive, the Black man lied to survive. Here in America.

Secrecy was the absolute requirement and the norm, for the Black person's survival; As the nefarious secrecy was for the White man. We were taught, conditioned, to cheat from the cheater, and then condemned for cheating; again, in most cases to survive. Here in America.

Linkage and Connection.

We were taught, conditioned, by the deceiver, to deceive, and then to be condemned for deceiving; again, in most cases for survival. We were taught, conditioned, not to trust, by the distrusted, so as not to be trusted.  We were taught to steal, theft for need, not theft for greed. Most of the Black man theft was for need. Most of the White man’s theft was for greed. However, down through the ages, Blacks have taken on the mindset of theft for greed also. While all men have this innate capacity to steal, I am speaking to the Black man’s being brought to America, against their will to survive, through theft.

I hear the question, why is this happening? What can we do about this? How can we turn this around? First, we must understand that this is a mindset. I don’t hear anyone speak about this as a mindset in this mess. It began in the mind. So the turn around must come through the mind where it starts. That is the door that opens up and the same door that closes. And, that is on each individual's doing. And that too is a mindset. Denial must be routed out. TRUTH is the only absolute. And in that, the mindset can begin the journey to repentance, healing, and turning the horrendous situation around.

I do believe, not one of us are strong-willed enough to be able to overcome some of that conditioning. However, I do not think we will completely be free of this, in which that is a good thing. Because we do tend to have short memories-premature Dementia, which quickly morphs into Alzheimer. Complete wipe out. After generations of generations, it is still deeply ingrained on both sides.

By: Terraine Smith

Deo Gratias!