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Dear Trump, You've Destroyed My Respect For The People That I Love

by Emily Noonan-Phillips 8 months ago in opinion

If you're surrounded by ignorance, you are not alone.

Dear Trump, You've Destroyed My Respect For The People That I Love
Photo by Kayle Kaupanger on Unsplash

Am I the only one getting tired of explaining why human rights are more important than the economy? I come from a republican family. I was born and raised Irish catholic. I am the only one of my siblings that is gay, a woman and suffers from mental illness. It’s only me and let me tell you, it’s draining. Have you ever felt like the support given to you by people who just simply don’t understand isn’t enough? Do they belittle you without knowing or twist everything you say to make your feelings feel invalid? Are they defensive when you ask them to educate themselves a little more? Welcome to 2020 folks, the election from hell.

I can’t begin to describe the feeling of lost respect I feel when I hear about someone I love voting for Trump. I don’t care how many times you tell me you love and support me, a vote for Trump is a direct attack against so many different types of people. Why support just one group of people when you can support all with a vote for Joe Biden?

A lot of these people voting for Trump in my life just don’t get it. They don’t hear me when I say my marriage could become invalid. They don’t hear me when I say I support police but I feel they need better and additional training. Why is it the black people of this country need to pay for their crimes but when I cop commits a crime against them it is dismissed? Why are you untouchable when you wear a uniform, I thought you always make a point to say that you are human too?

It doesn’t even matter if you create a fake scenario trying to get them to be in your shoes. They can’t hear you, they can’t understand because they are deafened by privilege. They keep telling me that it won’t matter if my marriage becomes invalid because we still love each other. Don’t you get it? I ask them how they would feel if all of a sudden someone voted against their marriage, still nothing. No lightbulb, no ding-dong, no realization in their brains that they are making my fears feel silly or even a waste of worry. Then they tell me it would never happen. I look at them and say “but you support him although he believes it should?”. How is that any better? You are still supporting someone who THINKS it should happen. Disgust overwhelms me.

Privilege is a strong thing. It can blind you in ways that danger the lives of people like me and like so many other kinds of people I’ve grown to love. So how do you cope with it? How do you not let this election shape who you have in your life? If you know that answer then please tell me because it is tearing me apart. A good portion of the people I love have voted against me, against my marriage and against the beautiful people of this country that don’t have the privileges they have and although I am filled with hate and rage, I feel a piece of my heart break every day knowing things will never be the same.

Is it my job to understand their privilege? Or is it their job to understand my disadvantage, my heartache and my worry? All I have to say is unfortunately neither have been done. The only thing left to do is move forward with the people that love, support me and fight for my rights even when it doesn’t apply to them. The people that can put their privilege aside to see who needs help and who needs compassion.

I question so many things as this election unfolds. Since starting a family there are so many things on my mind as I watch the people I love vote against me and my child’s future I wonder if they will be capable of loving my child all the way. I wonder what they will say to them when they ask about gay rights or make them feel different for being the only one in the family with two moms. With all these questions I realize that my child is going to be brought up wildly different from both my wife and I. These worries fill my brain as I close my eyes at night, is it possible my family doesn’t love me at all? How could they do this to me?

I listen to these Trump supporters rant and rave about how he has worked wonders for the economy, but that’s about it. They can’t tell me anything else about the good he’s done. That’s because there is nothing else. To hear his supporters and some of my loved ones basically tell me money is more important the basic human rights and equality makes me nauseous. I feel sick. This alone solidifies my loss of respect or desire to keep the relationship. There is a lot of pain driving these words I type. This comes from a place of fear and overall discomfort as I refresh my browser every five minutes to see the polls. I love my family and friends who voted for MAGA country, but after this election win or lose I part my ways with them. This is how I protect my family and future.

Family is family and this election showed that to me. You can’t decide the family you’re born in to but you can decide the family you create. There is never any reason to answer to or condone toxicity. There is no sound reason to stick around just to keep others happy, you need to put yourself first and just hope with all your heart you’re worth it enough to them to fight for your respect and if they don’t you’ve dodged a bullet.

Emily Noonan-Phillips
Emily Noonan-Phillips
Read next: Breathe Underwater
Emily Noonan-Phillips

26 year old wife diving into the world of writing about what I love and what i feel needs to be talked about, nothing is off limits! I am a former jock, current crime junkie and forever human rights advocate. Instagram @emilynoonanphillips

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