Dear Prime Minister...

To the Right Honorable Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau:

Hello!

Prime Minister, let me first say that I am a fan, as is most of my family. My mother still waxes poetic about your father and has remained loyal to the Grits (the Liberal Party for those not in the know). I think that she may have even met him when she first came to this country and was just beginning her life as a Canadian citizen as he was beginning to take the reins of government. Myself, I barely remember the man while he was in office, but I have seen films and read plenty of books and papers to be impressed by his achievements. And then I think about you and what you have accomplished as his son. No one likes to be compared to their parents too often for too long, but I think that in your case it is impossible to ignore. So, I think that you might need to do something quite dramatic to keep you name in the history books besides being a footnote to Trudeau pere:

So, Justin, can we have a wall?

Please allow me to explain.

Since we have all been watching the ugliness down south with our Yankee boarders (on our Canuck border – see what I did there?), I think that I speak for a large portion of the population of this country when I say that we need some sort of barrier right now.

You mentioned how Canada is going to allow access to abortion to continue, and I applaud this. But there are other issues that you may have not yet considered. We have plenty of fresh water, land and resources that will become the envy of a nation that seems to think that it will never have to pay back a debt. We have a stable government despite the efforts of that Free-dumb Convoy last year (see that one, too?). It was more like January 6th lite when I compare people storming a building to the ones who drove to our nation’s capital and parked and barbecued and allowed themselves to enjoy their homemade camping equipment (no one is truly oppressed who has a Jacuzzi attached to their ride). We still have a great reputation around the world, despite certain scandals with our First Nations residents, and you are deeply loved both in and outside our borders.

So, we need a wall…

Think about what this could do for us. Every four years, we could ignore the idiots in the south who claim, like they are reading a script, “If _____________ wins, I am moving to Canada!”

Not this time, sir or madam. Not as long as we have that wall in place.

Another great advantage would be the amount of civic pride and work created around such a project. People would be united from the Pacific to the Atlantic in our wall-building efforts. Maybe we could even get people to collect money and have their names added to bricks to commemorate the effort. School children would be brought in to create murals and drawings that could be posted and shared across the nation. Televised and live online telethons to raise money would also be a convenient way for the nation to feel as one.

Maybe you feel that my particular solution is too extreme. Maybe you worry that this could ruin our reputation as a peace-loving nation. I understand such fears, and I can say that this project could only help us become a real nation with respect shown from other countries. You would also receive a large amount of support from the immigrant communities in this country. I know that this sounds odd, but immigrants know just how difficult it is to become a Canadian. Why should we make it easier for anyone else to get in? Why shouldn’t they experience the joy of making an effort to become a part of this wonderful land?

Prime Minister, your father said that the relationship between Canada and the U.S. was like sleeping with an elephant (if it shifts the wrong way, and we do not pay attention, we get crushed). Others have said that if the U.S. sneezes, Canada gets a cold (I rather like that one). I think that the way that I view the United States today is much the same way I would approach a strange noise in my basement while I was in my living room: I could find out what the noise is all about, or I could simply accept that these noises are now a part of my life.

But I would feel safer with a little protection…

A Concerned Citizen,

KD