The Swamp logo

Dear Donald Trump...

by Chris Hearn 3 months ago in opinion

It's Been An Interesting (Though Not Enjoyable) Four Years

Image by History in HD/Unsplash

So, Don...Donny....Donald J...the D-man. We've had quite the 4 years, haven't we? All I can say is, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT???

I hate to break it to you, dude, but when it comes to being Prez, you really suck at it. Like, I cannot emphasize just how much you suck at it. To be honest though, I can't really figure out what you are good at. Golf maybe? That seems to be what you spent much of your time doing. That and sending out tweets at all hours of the night.

You were never that great of a business man. You aren't exactly what I would call "good with the ladies" given your enjoyment of just randomly grabbing women by the, um, know what you said. You aren't really good at showing any positive human emotions, like empathy or understanding. So, what exactly ARE you good at??

Now, I'm not even American. You weren't actually MY president, and I am so happy for that. I'm one of your northern neighbours in Canada who can't figure out what your country saw in you. I get it that not everyone was into you. You did piss off a lot of your own citizens right from day one. But, you were elected president, and I can't figure out what all of those people who DID vote for you were thinking.

RELATED: When It Comes To Divisiveness, Trump Is Not The Only One To Blame

And, do I need to point out that you weren't exactly nice to us? During free trade negotiations with us after you decided you didn't like NAFTA, you whined about how unfair Canada has been to the US. Oh, did you ever whine and whine about that. And, when our Canadian Broadcasting Company (CBC), ran the movie "Home Alone 2", you were upset because you ended up on the cutting room floor. You were edited out to make space for commercials, a decision made back in 2014. For some reason, you blamed Justin Trudeau himself. Seriously dude? You honestly think our Prime Minister personally removed your movie cameo?? Geez.

You were mean when it came to how you talked about Canada. But, that seems to be your way...mean. You are just a nasty, nasty man who fought with the media, who fought with other leaders of other countries (mostly allies, while embracing strongmen and thugs), who fought against pretty much anyone who didn't bow down to you. And, once again, we come back to the subject of women, who you had a bad habit of being extra mean and gross about. Ugh.

Then, there was the narcissism. Oh geez, the narcissism you displayed was second-to-none. In fact, you are so good at narcissism, maybe I should be praising you for how good you do it than seeing it as one of your many major flaws.

RELATED: Dear USA, We Need To Talk!

Somehow, you were able to build a cult of personality, where you managed to get millions of Americans to love you so much that they hung on your every word and accepted every lie as fact. How on earth did you do that, dude? HOW? People have been so sucked into your cult that they raided the frickin' Capitol building in Washington DC for you! People were ready to die for you after you lied to them constantly about having the 2020 election stolen from you. They actually believed you, and went on a violent rampage to defend YOU! YOU of all people. How?? How did you manage to do this?? What do all of these people see in you?

You know, I wish I could say that I am going to miss you. But, I'm not. I'm tired of your BS, dude. Like, really tired of it. I'm tired of you dominating every news cycle. I'm tired of the division you have sown not just in your country but all over the world. I'm tired of just even hearing your voice. Sadly, as the American Prez, you are the de facto head of the "Free World." The influence you have over those beyond America's borders is an unfortunate reality. So, we are all invested in who the POTUS is. And, I speak for many of us when I say that we really don't like you and are pretty happy to see you go.

And, although, yes, your departure is pleasing for many, I for one wish you the very best in your retirement. I hope that you find a whole lot of activities that will keep you busy and off of our TV screens. May I suggest knitting? Please, feel free to become some kind of hermit and leave the rest of us alone. We really don't have any need to see or hear from you, no matter how much you probably feel that we do.

Chris Hearn
Chris Hearn
Read next: New Mexico—It's like a State, like All the Others!
Chris Hearn

I'm a 47 year old writer, amateur photographer and amateur dad living in Winnipeg, MB, Canada.

See all posts by Chris Hearn

Find us on socal media

Miscellaneous links