Calling Moscow - 16

This conversation happened late at night on August 14, 2023, shortly after the news of Trump’s indictment in the State of Georgia broke.

“Hello, Vlad?

“Yes, Donnie.”

“I need to talk to a friend.”

“I’m here for you, Donnie.”

“I have no friends anymore, Vlad! No friends.”

“I’m here for you, Donnie.”

“And I appreciate that, Vlad, but I mean real friends.”

“And I am not?”

“Of course you are, Vlad! You know what I mean. Friends here, around me. The Trump circle is just Trump now. No more friends. I’m alone.”

“Why are you saying that, Donnie?”

“Haven’t you heard the news of the new indictment in Georgia?”

“I have, but as you know I’m not really fluent in your states’ laws. Summarize it for me.”

“Well, this f*cking Phoney Fani just announced the indictment in Georgia, for my perfect phone call! Perfect phone call! What does this unhinged b*itch has to do with me? Indicted me and 18 people who worked for me to make Georgia’s vote right!”

“Yeah, Donnie, that’s horrible. What are her specific accusations?”

“RICO charges! Can you imagine, Vlad, RICO! It’s like I was running some criminal organization! Like I’m some mafia boss or gang leader!”

Putin, to the side, “Like you are not!” To Trump, “Unbelievable! What does it mean for you, really?”

“She is asking for a speedy trial, like in six months. So I guess the judge will soon bring me in for the arraignment and start the hearings.”

“Can you stall it? Until you get elected and then pardon yourself?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to do in all these cases, Vlad: delay, delay, delay. But my lawyers are running out of options. No options left, they tell me. And I will not be able to pardon myself in a state case. Only in a federal case, not in a state case. They got me on this one, Vlad, they got me good!”

“There must be something you can do, Donnie.”

“I can’t think of anything. The people I’d go for help to are co-defendants on this case! 18 of them! That’s why I’m saying I have no friends left. You know what the worst thing is?”

“What, Donnie?” To the side, “Don’t complain to me about Lindsey.”

“Lindsey is not on the list of co-defenders. He was not named in the indictment, even though he made many, many calls to make Georgia’s vote right for me. Everybody knows it!”

“Do you think he flipped on you?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to him in a long time, and he is not taking my calls now.”

“He may have flipped on you then, Donnie. Since he is avoiding you.”

“I don’t think so. I hold him tight by his small balls, Vlad, and I thank you for that dossier again. Lindsey is such a coward he may be just laying low. Hopes that it will blow over or something.”

“That makes sense, I guess.”

“That’s why I’m saying I’m alone in this, Vlad. I can’t even talk to Lindsey! You are my only friend who is still standing by me! Can you help me, Vlad?”

“I can’t imagine how…”

“Even you, Vlad! Even you?”

“You didn’t let me finish, Donnie. I’ll think about it. But you know my options are limited. I can take care of that prosecutor for you if you want me to.”

“What do you mean, ‘take care’?”

“C’mon, Donnie. Don’t force me to say that on the phone. Have you heard of novichok?”

“Oh. But can you really do it here in the US?”

“I’ve done it several times, Donnie. Anywhere in the world. I still have my agents everywhere. And the beauty of it is that I can do it in such a way that it looks like a heart attack.”

“Oh. I don’t think it will help in this case, Vlad. The case is in the works, they’ll just appoint another district attorney.”

“Will anyone pick up this case after that, though? Most people want to live.”

“Yeah, in the American system the judges and prosecutors pride themselves that they cannot be intimidated.”

“Well, I don’t really know what else I can do. How about the judge on the case? Is he a Trump fan?”

“McAfee? I don’t know, he is new. Brian Kemp appointed him just six months ago.”

“Can you get to him?”

“I can try, but again I don’t know if it will help. I feel like I’m cornered here, Vlad. Racketeering for a perfect call! Unbelievable.”

“Well, if you think of how I can help, Donnie, call me. Any time. I have to go now.”

“Thank you, Vlad. How’s your little war going?”

“Little??? Did you just say ‘little war,’ Donnie?”

“I meant it as a joke, Vlad.”

“Bad joke, Donnie!..” Hangs up and says, “Fake outrage or he won’t get off my back!”

Trump, looking at the phone, “I hope he is not too mad at me! So moody!”