You Deserve Boldness

As many times as we hear that 'this is an unprecedented time,' just like anything else, it has to travel from your ears to your brain and then to your heart and your gut for you to truly understand what those words mean. The realization that no one on our planet has experienced what we are all currently experiencing is one that must be individually felt, at your own pace, in your own body and spirit. There is no Wise One to turn to for answers. Mom & Dad have never been here before, and even our government officials scramble breathlessly in the face of this pandemic, trying this and trying that -- because there is no roadmap. We are all standing, apart but together, trying to figure out what to hold onto.

Some things seem like they don't matter anymore or at least right now. Not only do many of us long to see our friends, to hang out, to go to the museum or see a play, but so many of us love clothes, hair, makeup, jewelry; fashion. I have always loved clothes desperately. I've always felt like there was so much I wanted to say, to write, to paint, to express, to communicate to my fellow human beings. What I wear is a way I can do that without even saying anything. What I wear and how I visually present myself has the power to be striking and disruptive.

I have always wanted to be just that: striking and disruptive. The normal outfit of a young woman was unacceptable to me. The prescribed muted colors and modest constructions matched the prescribed muted and modest expectations of young women in society. We were supposed to be seen and not heard. We didn't raise our hands in class. If we were too outspoken, curious, interested or smart, it was intimidating to all of the boys, and we risked labels we would never be able to shake off. It was better that we remained as safe as possible in our demeanor, because a dynamic gesture in any direction was a risk too great to bear.

From day one, this was stifling to me. Worse, it was death. At age five, I questioned why boys could run around topless and I couldn't. At age eleven, I started sneaking clothes to school that I would change into once I arrived. This included my favorite Batman t-shirt, threadbare and perfect. I constantly faced the voices of teachers and parents alike scolding me into submission. I learned how to play by the rules so that I could survive.

It wasn't until I got older that the picture was completed in my head -- the strict, oppressive regulation of women's clothing is a symptom of the strict, oppressive regulation of women's bodies, sexuality, ambition, independence, and existence. Once legally deemed property, our fight to only be regulated by ourselves still rages. When I asked myself what it is that I want for future generations of women, I landed on this: I want for women to be able to work, live, and express themselves fully without the fear of consequence.

When I realized how easily I could design shirts, leggings, jackets, cropped sweaters and more online, I jumped at the opportunity. I created items that are disruptive. Items that don't match a prescribed identity of female or non-binary compliance. I created items that matched my dream for future generations of women and also honored my childhood struggles to express myself. Overall, I wanted to design items that were the opposite of compliant: bold. So I named the line #boldgirl.

Now that I cannot even leave my house due to the pandemic, I have had days of defeat in which clothing seems almost obsolete. Then, I remember: it's not about clothing. It's about the mission statement. It's about the dream. It's about putting content out there that reminds us all that expressing ourselves will never be obsolete. We have a duty to express what is uniquely divine in all of us. We have a right to govern ourselves and be in charge of our own identities. Now, more than ever, as we all face uncertainty, promoting self-expression is paramount. The only way we all get through, one day at a time, is through sharing exactly what we feel, and listening.