"I feel like every other culture is celebrated, except for black people." -Daniela Tabois

For the 21 years I've been on earth, not once have I doubted or lost my interest and curiosity in the everchanging industry of the fashion world. I have always been interested in fashion. Don’t ask me when- all I remember, is that a once young girls dream, has now become a reality. And through the influence of good people I've come across, my love and passion for pursuing a career in fashion, has only been skyrocketting, and I can say it has and still is the only thing that keeps me motivated until this day.

It was around the year of 2016, right after graduating high school, when I applied for the fashion design program. I was so excited to see what there was to learn. And oh boy, did I learn a lot about the internet.

I think about 4 hours a day I was spending my time in front of a computer. Since the very first class, I remember I’ve constantly been exposed to surfing the internet, which shouldn’t come as a surprise since now it’s become a part of our daily routine to be surfing the internet to find inspiration. I guess that’s when it soon came to my attention, that I happened to be learning more online than I think I was in actual class.

To be quite honest, at a certain point, I not only felt like I was paying thousands of dollars everyday to go to school, but it became a regular routine of mine, and many other designer student, to only to be sitting in front of a computer afterschool, learning from another content creator or watching videos of others teaching a similar subject that many weren’t able to catch during the actual class. Also to mention, it felt much more comfortable to watch someone teach an online tutorial, knowing that I could replay the clip multiple times without feeling like I’m not falling behind in class. It was especially hard being able to learn in a small class full of 15 people- asking a question was nearly impossible, since asking to repeat something felt like more of a death wish, rather than an opportunity to learn. Which is why I soon appreciated online creators even more. Without them, I don’t know how I would’ve been able to survive my classes to be quite honest.

With that being said, this is soon how I came across a black fashion designer who goes by the name of Daniela Tabois, who creates content on YouTube, related to pattern-drafting, sewing, and much more related to design. She soon became my go-to person whenever I needed a source of spark or inspiration. I remember specifically watching one of her videos that had to do with draping a mermaid dress, which was very insightful for one of my design projects I was working on.

While watching her, it came to me out of random curiosity, realizing that I have never really questioned why there weren’t so many black designers in the industry. At first, I wasn’t sure if it was because I didn’t do enough research, or it was because nobody talked about this enough. But, I realized it was both. And at least to my knowledge, it was not a topic that was brought up very easily.

And that is why the handy dandy internet comes into use once again. As I was questioning my curiosity as to why there weren’t as many black designers in the industry, I wanted to know. And now that I come to think of it, it doesn’t come to me as a surprise, that ironically, with all of my teachers being white, they had never touched upon what may be a controversial topic in front of class of many eyes watching.

So as someone who needed an answer to all of my curiosities, I did usual daily-dose of web-surfing the internet and going on YouTube to look for answers from the perspective of a black person. Out of surprise and perfect timing, that very day, Daniela came out with a notification, saying that she was going to do a live stream of her unboxing as well as answering subscribers’ questions.

You already know what my question was…

When it was time for her to stream her live, I was eagerly waiting for the right moment to bring up the question. With the comment section being swarmed with people and spammed with many other comments coming in at the same time, I knew I had to keep my question short and sweet, in order for her to be able to notice my question. To my surprise, she ended up saying my name and repeats the question I asked in the chat.

In the stream she mentions how there is a black community of fashion designers, however, these designers do not get the recognition that they deserve. Daniela also mentions a time when she used to work in a company, and when she walked into the office, there was almost none or maybe one black designer max. “You’re walking around like, I’m glad that I’m here, but you need to tell me this office is not diverse enough for you to have more than one black person? I just find this ridiculous… I feel like every other culture is celebrated, except for black people."

Yeah, for sure it is ridiculous...! I don’t think I will ever really be able to understand what it is like to have to navigate through a predominantly white industry. Like Daniela mentions, she went into work only to see not even one black person. That shows how they’re clearly the minority, fighting everyday to seek a voice to be able to do what they love while dealing with systematic racism in the fashion industry.

There was much more said in the video, but the least to say, it was a very insightful, yet, unfortunate story to hear. (See link below to the full stream- my part starts at 16:32 in case you want to watch the answer to my question! 😉)

I don’t know if it was because I was watching her live in real time, but seeing her answer my question felt so much more touching, while knowing there was a screen between both of us. I felt so much closer to her, and it just felt so much more personal. However, I came out of the live stream powerless and weak. Because all I could do was listen. It all just brought me to a realization of how much I thought I knew but did not know- and how much I still don’t know until this very day.

From once only watching her videos out of interest and curiosity to learn what she knew about the design world, I now came out of the live with so much more insight and so much more respect for her. Seeing how much Daniel grew as person, along with her channel growing as well, I’ve gained much more respect for her as an independent black woman, who is so willing and passionate to thrive in an industry that is obviously so concentrated with white designers, I applaud and admire her devotion and love for fashion design.

With not too many subs at the time, as well as the pandemic hitting, it made a big shift/impact on Daniela’s life, such as losing her home and having to live with her mother in a hotel because she was struggling to pay her bills. However, I was beyond surprised, yet inspired that she still managed to do what she loved and eventually ended up with many more sub counts later on, as well as people who supported her experience and how she got there. Not only as a person who is very much into the fashion world, but the fact that she had to overcome all of that and still do what she loves gives me such drive and motivation for me to be able to reach goals and not give up on my own goals and endeavors. Especially in this day and age withe whole black lives matters movement and the world becoming so much more cruel towards other people of color, I cannot imagine putting myself in their shoes and knowing what it must feel like. So, to see somebody I look up to, like Daniela, it has been so thought-provoking and so inspirational to see her be able to cope through this pandemic while still doing what she loves.

Seeing a black woman like her with so much drive and energy, gives me fuel and gas to get me up on my feet and do something. Whatever it is- to read, or learn or do something that inspires me, just anything, especially with everything being so digitalized today, there is no excuse for anything. I really believe right now is the perfect time to really invest in learning and teaching myself the things that I wasn’t able to learn before the current events today.

I feel like after watching Daniela speak her thoughts as a black person in the industry, and speak her struggles, it has truly made me appreciative and inspired to do more and learn more everyday. There is always so much to learn, and I believe it is necessary to always be questioning ourselves and the world.

I remember Robert Kiyosaki once said in a interview on a YouTube video, “A question opens the mind, a statement closes the mind.”

This has stuck with me until this day, and I still stand by these words. I want to continue to learn, grow and be able to be inspired by people who allow me to constantly challenge/question myself, and my place in the industry and what I can do on my part to make this world even a little bit more of a better place.

Overall, I’d like to thank Daniela for being such a powerful, courageous and great influence on my life as a designer who also continues to question how to find my place in the industry.

I hope you are inspired to learn the same way I have been inspired. Whether you’re in a difficult situation or not, I hope this experience of mine has taught you that there is always a place for us in the world, we just have to keep pushing through and not give up 😊

Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk! <3

-Caroline G. Kim