Fashion of the 90's

They say 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' but fashion is the tool of the people who wield it.

Or live to regret it.

Doc Martens, plastic chokers, butterfly hair clips, floral print EVERYWHERE. Not even like good floral print, it was the same exact pattern of roses and leaves that are on your grandmothers couch in the 80s. The only thing that was different was that maybe the roses were in pastels instead of a peach-red color.

Don't even get me started on wedding dresses from that decade. Oy, all that tulle and fake satin and sequins for days.

But let's go over some of the biggest trends that we thought were all the rage of the 90's:

1. Bomber Jackets

The military look for those who probably would completely ignore authority, we have the bomber jacket. It was a pretty badass look and I myself fell victim to this trend. Whether they looked like actual military jackets or like it was off the set of the 'Fresh Prince', it was THE jacket to have in your closet.

To be perfectly honest, I still have a bomber jacket that I pair with an Iron Maiden shirt and skinny jeans with heeled boots and all the chunky jewelry. I will die before I let go of my patented grunge look. I also like attempting to scare people, the power surge of adrenaline I feel when another girl in a pink dress rounds a corner at the coffee shop and sees me, sitting in a corner booth reading the Bell Jar and looking like a character out of the Craft, watching that girl gasp and turn the other way; that is the high that only junkies get.

2. The Slip Dress

Honestly, this thing should stay in the 90's and accept death, I HATED these dresses so much. I wore one once to a dance and it was the worst thing ever. Sure, it's an easy look but its such a simple look that it makes a lot of people look drab. A ton of supermodels and actresses were donning this look in the 90's and they could rock it on occasion, but overall it has such a shapeless appearance, I really hope these don't make a comeback.

3. Fanny Packs

While these are convenient, they are hideous and I don't care if it's made by Chanel. Lagerfeld designed a version of these in 1994 and we've been tortured with this visual burden ever since. It highlights the wrong region and despite what you might think it will not deter a thief with a light touch. I will only tolerate this look when Dwayne Johnson does it because I don't think he can make anything look uncool.

Of course Dwayne Johnson is a god on his own. Even in this look. My sister likes to say that his body is Daddy but his face is Father. This man oozes with sex potential but I don't want to see him in a sex scene. It feels wrong like when your parents get romantic, its sweet that their still in love but you really REALLY don't want to see it.

I also think watching him have sex would be like watching a boulder roll onto a lady bug.

4. The Flannel Shirt

So, I will admit that I still have flannels in my closet and wear them an chance I get. It's my vibe tbh, they're warm and nobody bats an eye when you wear one in public. Literally everyone wore them in the 90s's, from your neighbor to Kurt freakin' Cobain

5. Mood Rings

We all had five of these and at least one in the shape of a turtle, don't lie. Why did we buy these? I have no clue, I had quite a few like the ones that looked like a big onyx stone but it was a mood ring, and I bought it because my cousin was getting one and we wanted to match.

Even at a young age though, I was a very closed person so when I figured out that other people knew the color code of the mood ring I stopped wearing it. How dare they figure out my mood based on that ring.

It was the rings fault for giving away my information. Ever since then, I've had trust issues.

Every decade had its fashion ups and downs. I lived through the 90s with that same floral pattern on every piece of clothing I got from JC Penny. The 2000s were tamagotchis and overalls and whatever Brittney Spears and J.Lo were wearing. Which was definitely not what my mother wanted for her 12 year old daughter, fishnet crop tops and thick highlights.

Then we had the 2010s which was odd in general, I remember being obsessed with polka dots and every girl in my grade had various polka dresses in wild colors with wide belts. Our school looked like an episode of I Love Lucy where it's just her body doubles and then the boys in dropped crotch jeans and Beastie Boys shirts.

I don't even know if there's any different fashion points in the 2020s, with the global pandemic and the 67 potential political instances that almost brought on WW3 and now Russia invades Ukraine; I'm just happy I still fit in my jeans from 2019.