The Colours of the fall are so beautiful, but November has me feeling heavy and sad for the fallen and those who are still falling. I am also falling... but if I fall, those who love me will suffer and life for them will never ever have the same colours and they almost surely may also fall... Therefore, I still have a purpose here and I do want to stay alive, but why is death always so close to me and always looming over me?
I think, that the suicide problem with vets is born right out of boot camp, or for sure in battle school. Because, after you swear an oath to God, or to the Queen, you report for your training and the transformation begins. Especially within the combat arms, they tell you; “here’s your uniform, you’re hat-badge and your gun. You can wear these with pride, learn how to use this like a pro and you can be a part of us to be all that you can be, but you may have to die for your country. Yes, for this, you may be asked to make the ULTIMATE SACRIFICE. So you let that sink-in and you decide that you’re ok with it. It’s worth it... Pro Patria! “If I die, it’ll be in a blaze of glory and they’ll pin a medal on my corps. Mom will be so proud of me”. So you become suicidal in your thinking a little bit; your brothers at arms mean a lot to you and you’ve been taught to protect them with your life as well and with no hesitation, you’ll lay down on a grenade for them... “my life for yours, brother”... That is suicidal. You program yourself into this suicidal killing machine, (because they taught you how to kill and that was also part of the deal, it was also part of the oath...), and you operate like that for years... for a lifetime. All because the MISSION STATEMENT was wrong.
I shouldn’t have been told that I was going to maybe have to die for this, that I had to be willing and ready to make the ULTIMATE SACRIFICE for this... I should’ve been told to FIGHT for my life. To fight till the fight was done, to keep fighting for my purpose and to never ever give-up. Fight and stay alive for your purpose. The MISSION STATEMENT was wrong.
We have to stop telling these young men and women that they may have to die for their country. We must tell them that they have to fight for their lives instead. Tell them to keep advancing for contact; double-tap, dash, down, crawl, but never ever quit! Change the mission statement. Order me to STAY ALIVE!
For us old soldiers, a new set of orders just came in; pay attention. MISSION:- You WILL fight for your Life. I say again, MISSION:- You WILL fight for your Life. It is now time for a new mission analysis, lots of better training and thourough battle procedure. Functional PT will make you feel like a Warrior again and a Giant among mere men. The fight is not over and your purpose was never to die... your purpose is Within and it is first and foremost to Stay Alive.
Help is out there, so go get it. Go to bed earlier, (for heavens sake get some sleep, you’re not on fire-picket anymore, your shift is over, so go to bed...), wake-up, stand-up (shuffle to the door), make your bed and show-up for life. ASICS (Anima Sana In Corpore Sano, not just a good shoe...). Eat, drink, exercise and don’t forget to breath (lots). Put as little chemicals as possible in and on your body, ALCOHOL IS POISON and stay away from toxic people.
I love my life. I am truly blessed and I am lucky to still be alive despite myself. My mission changes, as the situation changes and therefore so must my plans. To evolve is to survive and ultimately to STAY ALIVE.
Pro Patria, Je me souviens, Airborne. We will remember them. I am responsible.