Cost of Freedom

Rwanda, 1993:

Freedom comes in many forms. Ours came in a rusty tin can, stuffed with twenty thousand American dollars. The amount we needed to bribe our way to safety.

I was an optimistic, twenty-nine-year-old, privileged white male from Canada. Who thought he could make the world a better place by volunteering his services to a war-torn country. I was a fool.

I was also the last remaining member of a once hopeful medical team. It didn’t take us long to realize that the way to help wasn’t through hospital care, but through escape. We began to slowly siphon off our supplies for cash, to use as bribes to pay for the road to freedom. In essence we began our own version of the underground railroad, one group of refugees at a time. We were successful.

It didn’t take the warlords long to figure out what we were doing. Supplies stopped arriving from the outside world, they cut us off and threatened our lives. But we were still too important for their own use to kill.

So, it went. Low on funds, low on hope, we planned one last escape from this man-made Hell. Unsure how we would pull it off, until the opportunity in a tin can showed up on my cot, just like that, we had our chance.

Seldom do things go as planned, today was no different. The Sun hung in the late afternoon sky like a warning beacon. We saw the small truck roaring down the dirt road, dust billowing behind. It pulled to a stop in the village courtyard, in front of the abandoned school we were using as our hospital.

Two soldiers in the cab two more sitting in the back cargo bed. The two in the back jumped off before the truck came to a full stop. The other two exited, figures hidden in a wall of dust. The driver walked over to me and grabbed me by the collar, dragging me to the back of the truck, where another soldier lay. He was clearly in pain, moaning and withering, he was delirious. The leader said to me in English “Snake Bite.” While pointing to his abdomen.

These were the people responsible for the theft of our supplies, the needless killings, the reason I was here. I loathed them, my instinct was to refuse to help. I was also a Doctor, motioning them to bring the soldier into the building, I walked on ahead.

They carried the man in, tossed him onto the table. Without another word they left the room. On closer inspection, this soldier was no more than a boy, he appeared to be fourteen, fifteen, no older. The soldiers clothing was soaked. Beads of sweat glistened on his dark skin, shining like a rock in the river. I proceeded to lift his shirt to inspect the wound, there were two puncture marks on the lower right side of his stomach. Grabbing swabs, I wiped away the trickle of blood seeping from the holes. I was about to call out to the soldiers asking if they knew what type of snake it was. But stopped. I had seen enough snake bites since arriving to know this wound was not one of them, in fact I would hasten to say it appeared self-inflicted.

Our eyes met, the young boy’s eyes were no longer rolling around, nor were they unfocused. They were wide open, clear and I could see that he knew, that I knew. He grabbed my arm, in a surprisingly strong grip and whispered, “Are you Doctor Jonas?”

I nodded.

In one quick motion, the young boy sat up, hopped off the table, and ran out the door. He headed straight towards the group of soldiers, now lounging around the truck, smoking, and laughing. They never saw him till it was too late. When he was close to six feet away, he reached behind his back under his jacket and pulled out a handgun. Not stopping, he shot all four men before they could go for their rifles. As they lay there, one squirming and yelling, he removed his knife from his side sheath and proceeded to slit their throats. It was over in under 30 seconds.

I froze. I’ve seen some weird shit in the past sixteen months, but nothing so brutally bizarre as what I just witnessed.

The few people who were milling about ran in all directions. The boy stood up and marched over to me, I stumbled backwards. He reached out grabbed my shirt and said in a calm voice. “You are escaping tonight.” He said this as a statement, not a question.

All I could stutter out was “ I...uh . No, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lame.

He held the gun to my face and slowly said with an intense threatening voice “Don’t lie to me Doctor, call the others out.” I could feel his muscles shaking from the adrenaline.

I didn’t move, He yelled “Call all who are coming, we leave, NOW.”

I'm a professional, a grown man, here was a kid yelling at me, giving me orders. True, he did have a gun to my face. I replied, “I’ll grab my stuff, meet me at the well.”

He was very persuasive.

I ran to my tent, grabbed the small backpack I already prepped. Reaching under the bed I pulled out the tin can with cash. Before leaving I retrieved my black book of names, off the nightstand, stuffed it into my pack and left. On the way out I snatched the air horn that hung by the door. Holding it up as I ran and gave three long blasts. By the time I arrived at the well, the young soldier was there. He had gathered the dead soldiers’ rifles and was handing them out to the people who had already assembled. Within a minute there were twenty people of all ages gathered, packed and ready to go.

My friends Mihigo and his wife Isaro were there, we nodded to each other. They were instrumental in helping organize the escapes, now it was their time to go. I Looked at everyone and said, “We need to hurry.” We would be walking all night through the jungle, hoping to get to the river in time to catch our boat. Then across the lake to freedom. “We must arrive at the meeting place by sunrise.” I had barely finished speaking, most were already moving into the forest.

I gave one last glance back. I couldn’t say why.

Night comes swiftly in the jungle, we walked in silence, everyone lost in their own thoughts. The young soldier never said a word but continued to walk by my side. Mihigo and his wife joined us, he was a tall well-built man, in his mid to late thirties, he already had greying around the temples. He was known for smiling as was his wife, neither of them smiled now. They were marching to freedom, but leaving their home, their way of life, it was a mixed blessing.

Everyone was on edge, tensions hung heavy, which made me alert. I was watching for enemies that we hoped were not there. My heart skipped as I saw a glint of light pierce the night off to my right. I immediately gave the sign for everyone to crouch down and remain silent. Creeping towards the area, Thoughts of the moon light reflecting off a sniper’s scope invaded my mind. Every sense was heightened, waiting for a pain I would never feel. I forced myself to calm down and creep ever forward. Step by step.

I couldn’t see him, but I could sense the young soldier following me, off to my right circling behind our target. Suddenly the glare swiveled toward me, I rushed forward. Ready to do what, I didn’t know. Crashing through the branches, I stumbled and fell.

I heard the soldier yell, “Dr. no.”

Looking up, I stared into our assassins’ eyes. I had come face to face with a head of a doll hanging by the hair. There must have been a half dozen plastic decapitated cadavers dangling from the trees. Their glass eyes reflecting at me. It was the creepiest thing I had ever seen. It was also a warning, a warning I failed to heed.

We were less than twenty minutes away from our destination, sunrise was coming soon, we needed to quicken our pace. Calling out to the others to proceed, I took a moment to catch my breath before walking on. I forced my foot to take a step while absorbing the sounds of nature that surrounded me. In the jungle, especially at night, there are all sorts of noises, beautiful and haunting at the same time. The sound we heard next was a ‘CLICK’ that is usually followed by a ‘BOOM.’ Someone stepped on a land mine. Ok, to be precise, I stepped on a land mine.

The creepy heads were placed there for a reason.

Everyone froze, “Don’t move.” whispered the young soldier. I could feel my body starting to shiver, but my leg and weight distribution did not move. Carefully walking over to me, the young man crouched down, shining a flashlight towards my foot. He began to methodically move loose leaves and twigs from around my boot. Slowly standing up, he shook his head.

“Mihigo.” I said, “Keep the people moving, they have to get away from here.”

To his credit he did not argue, he did however send his wife to lead the people away. The soldier looked to Mihigo and to me, “I am sorry Doctor.”

There was no time to debate, or even say goodbyes. Looking at Mihigo I said, “The money is in my backpack, you have to slowly take it off me and leave.” I was beginning to sweat, they needed to leave before I went into shock and could no longer keep the pressure even. Mihigo, cautiously removed the pack, lifting it ever so gently, we dared not to change my position, it would have been the end of the three of us.

Mihigo, having successfully retrieved the pack, began to back away carefully trying not to disturb any branches. Watching every step, he took.

“Doctor Jonas.” Said the youth “I think, this mine we call a popper. It doesn’t explode from the ground up, it blasts upward high four feet first, then explode outward. It hits everyone within the radius, that way takes out more soldiers.”

I didn’t find that comforting, but I nodded. My mouth was dry, all I could get out was “Go, live your life.” With that he began to walk away. I had to say something.

I called out. “Thank you.” He knew that I knew and stood a little taller. Raising his arm in a final farewell he faded into the jungle. Our tin can saviour was gone, and I was alone.

I don’t know how long I stood there. Probably less than a minute, maybe more than two, I couldn’t tell, but it felt like an hour. False morning proceeded the sunrise, soon they would all be safe. I knew what he was trying to tell me when he said it may be a popper. He was telling me I had an option, not necessarily a way out, just an alternative.

My plan was simple, push outward as fast and as hard as I could, dive for the ground and lay flat. My leg could blow up, and the shrapnel could still hit me, causing a slow death. Or I could just step off knowing I would die quickly. I had nothing to lose.

I counted down, 3,2,1...Push, dive, face first into the mud. Nothing happened... it was a dud.

There was no time to think, no time to lose, if I was going to make the boat, I had to run. I got up and ran, blood pounding, excitement, thrill of being alive, elation, fear. Run. Branches raked my face and arms, I fell once, twice, picked myself up and moved. I cried, tears covered my cheeks, laughing hysterically I kept moving. Run.

I saw the clearing up ahead, the boat was still there, I tried to call out, no words came forth. I pushed through the trees and hit the riverbank running. In hindsight, bursting through the jungle, covered in mud towards a boatful of armed men wasn’t the best idea. They turned, saw me, raised their guns, and fired. I felt a blow that thrust me forward, I should have fallen back, I landed on the wet riverbank, my head smashing onto the hard packed mud.

Laid out unable to move, I lifted my head, the world slowed down. I saw the boat. People were filing on to it. Mihigo was yelling for them to stop shooting, he hopped over the rail and ran towards me, he flew on by. I stumbled to my knees; my head was heavy, a high pitch ringing echoed in my ears. Isaro rushed forward as well, she too continued running past me. I turned around, Mihigo was holding the young soldier in his arms, Isaro was weeping, rocking back and forth. There was blood, I realized then, the young soldier pushed me out of harm's way. The bullets meant for me, had struck him.

Mihigo, looked up at me and said, “He is my son.” Gently cradling the limp form to his body. He picked him up and they walked to the boat. I followed.

An hour later, we were past danger and into the safe zone. The boat floated along, with the rising sun behind us. I walked to where the boy, their child was. They had wrapped him in a white sheet, he looked so small. I managed to ask, “What was his name?”

I pulled out my black book and added his name, along with the others I could not save.