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Wine: An I'm Not at All Ashamed "Confession List"

A "guide" and "idea list" for all those who'd rather just get drunk; or my favourite ways to drink wine and not feel regret by the fact that I use wine for the specific purpose of getting drunk.

By Jessica TPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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So, I like wine. I'm not an expert when it comes to wine though. I can't tell you how earthy, how much body, or how much tannin a glass of wine has, but I can tell you the alcohol content of the really cheap bottle of wine I just bought. I can tell you that because it's probably one of the first things I look for when buying a bottle of wine. Is the alcohol content good? Yes, great. Next question. Is it affordable? Yes, even better. With those two questions answered, the bottle goes in the basket and I'm set for the day (I have gone and bought another bottle of wine immediately after finishing the first bottle, but that's when I'm with a friend and we're both feeling like we need more wine.) I don't drink wine everyday, I feel like I should just put that out there, but I have done a week (probably more) where I've been drunk because of wine every night. I've been on a Contiki trip. That's self-explanatory if you've been on a Contiki trip or if you know someone who has.

And if I'm continuing with whatever I've decided to write, which seems to be a confession list, I should probably start now.

1. There's always my favourite "making fun of wine tasters" way of drinking wine, which involves a lot of exaggeration. I generally end up swirling the wine around in my cup, smelling the wine, taking a sip and pretending to spit it out. That's always a good way to start the night, and a good way to get a good laugh, when with friends.

2. I have gotten drunk off wine with my mother. I feel like that's something everybody should try because it's a really good bonding experience. I have never had so much fun and I had never known so much about my mother's teenage/party years. My dad says we're a classy duo.

3. I've had too much wine at a family event (a fancy family event,) which just made the whole entire night that much more bearable and so much more fun. At that point everything is a good amount of fun and the whole night gets a little less boring.

4. I have definitely, on multiple occasions, shared 3 bottles of wine between 2 people (myself and someone else.) Those are the nights that are filled with endless amounts of laughter. They're the nights where hanging out and talking until 2am is the best thing in the world. This is also when midnight walks to the closest store to buy junk food is always a good idea.

5. I've made up a drinking game (involving Uno, Jenga, and a bottle of bubbles,) where shots of vodka, tequila, or rum, were replaced by wine. The drunker you get, the harder the game gets.

6. I have gone through 2/3 of a bottle of wine because I didn't get fired from a job. That was an interesting night. I really wanted to get fired. I was excited for the possibility that my life would be a little unstable, and I hated my job.

7. I've been willingly pressured into chugging more than half a bottle of wine. I've done that once and I can genuinely say that I will never do that again. That was the drunkest I've ever been and I had to be carried to bed at that point. Not a high point in my life, but I won't deny that it happened. Although if I think about it now, perhaps my liver is stronger now... I'll have to try it again sometime.

8. I've dressed up into the fanciest clothes I own and gone out for a fancy dinner where there was free wine, proceeded to get hammered, and then went to a Moulin Rouge show where there was free champagne.

9. I've spent multiple hours at Christmas Markets around Europe drinking mass amounts of Glühwein. It's a festive and very magical experience and, when it gets dark at 4:30pm, the night seems to last forever. It's a Christmas junkies very own "Heaven."

Honestly the list could go on because I have had a lot of wine (especially in Austria, Hungary, and the Czech Republic.) If you're ever looking for something fun to do though: movies, ice cream, wine, and a really good friend. Makes for a good night every time.

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