New Horror Themed Pack of Hard Ciders

Angry Orchard just dropped a ‘Scream Thriller Pack’ of flavored hard ciders. Clever marketing for those of us who grew up in the 90’s, love scary movies, and in spite of their age, still enjoy their alcohol candy sweet.

Scream began a new era of slasher films. The genre was first introduced in the 1970’s and 80’s. Scream set itself apart with a satirical, almost meta twist. The characters make references to popular movie tropes, often debating what would happen next in a ‘real’ slasher film.

Most 90’s kids remember their shock when Drew Barrymore (huge movie star at the time) gets killed in the first 10 minutes of the film.

This thing is a real nostalgia bomb. Hats off to the marketing team for the design. The side of the box even looks like a set of VHS tapes on a shelf.

RIP Blockbuster

They also made it glow in the dark. I imagine you’d look very cool bringing this 12 pack to your next Halloween party.

Is it unethical for them to market this booze to our inner child?

Okay, enough about the marketing gimmicks. How does it TASTE?

I decided to chronicle our flavor journey here for your infotainment. In the interest of avoiding a hangover, we spread the reviews over the first week of October.

First we tried ‘Caramel Apple Curse‘

It is very caramel forward. I don’t know what science went into this formula, but it tases specifically like melted caramel. It’s not like Milk Duds or those things at the bottom of your grandma’s purse. It tastes like the real deal you’d get at a county fair. In my opinion, this flavor is hard to beat.

Next up was ‘Headless Pumpkin’

I thought it was tasty and sweet like pumpkin pie. When I asked Jimmy for his thoughts he said, “It’s ymmmy.”

Come on, dude! This is serious!

When I pressed him for something more descriptive, he said, “I don’t know what you want from me. I’m not a food critic. It tastes like a pumpkin pumped into my mouth!” 😳

‘Blood Orange’ was a solo adventure

Jimmy is a ghost tour guide and October is busy season, so he’s not always available for my little games. Plus, he’s not a super fan of blood orange. Fortunately, I am and this flavor is probably my favorite.

For comparison, I’ve eaten the fruit before and I’d describe it as regular orange, but just slightly more bitter and complex. Think sangria. This cider is spot on and delicious.

We saved the ‘Mystery Caller’ flavor for last

When I cracked open the can I got a whiff of something medicinal. Jimmy and I took a sip and looked at each other confused.

“What is it?“

“Maybe they were trying to do grape?”

Then Jimmy cheated by looking at the ingredients list. It was no help. It just said ‘fruit and vegetable juice extracts.’ But it had a vague Robitussiny flavor. Maybe we were being poisoned by Ghostface. Or was it cranberry?

The effect was a bit scary not knowing what we were drinking, so to the makers of this product, I’d say, “mission accomplished?’ 🤷‍♀️

The call is coming from inside the can. Blamo! Comedy gold!

I got a hot tip from my brother claiming the flavor was pomegranate. I think he might be right, but perhaps they sourced them from a local creek.

Psssst! If you want to understand that reference, read this…

Through my research I found out Angry Orchard also made a version featuring the Friday the Thirteenth (Jason Voorhees) films. Same concept and very similar flavors. Although, this one might be a little harder to track down due to limited supply.