Just One More Round

I was never a big drinker before college. My parents occasionally let me try their beer or a shot if we were at one of their friend's houses, but I never got drunk. I wasn't friends with the party crowd in high school, and my friends and I were much happier going to IHOP or playing board games than trying to get wasted.

When I went to college, I wasn't planning to be a big drinker; I don't think I was planning to be a drinker at all. I planned to focus on my studies and find a friend group that was chill. This lasted for almost the entire first semester of college.

My friends and I were more likely to spend time in the library than go out drinking. Our school isn't a big party campus, so the few parties that happened we just ignored. Around finals that semester, two of our friends suggested we get drunk in one of our dorm rooms and watch movies.

We contacted a friend, got a bottle of overpriced vodka, and watched Scott Pilgrim. Truth be told, we all were too nervous to get super drunk since we were still in dorm rooms. I definitely got tipsy, but none of us really went crazy.

I thought this might be the end of our drinking escapades since none of us seemed to have had that great a time. Boy, was I wrong. The next semester of my freshman year, we made friends with some kids who lived off campus, meaning we could go drink at their apartment without worrying about RA's. We could get as drunk as we wanted. And we did just that. The first time we did, I puked. The second time, we all got naked. The third time, I almost ran naked down the hallway.

Safe to say, this was the start of a downward spiral. The next fall semester we were okay. We got drunk a few times, but didn't go crazy. The semester after, however, was a different story. To put it lightly, we were drinking every weekend and a good number of weeknights. My friends and I were super stressed. I had a crazy hard teacher. My one friend had thesis. Another was taking five Bio classes. It was the craziest semester, and we turned to alcohol for comfort.

This was the semester that really fucked me over. I began to rely on drink so much that I felt like I couldn't handle stress without it. I was basically an alcoholic. That summer I only drank twice. It was a step in the right direction, moving away from alcohol and learning to handle stress on my own.

I started therapy this past fall and worked hard to be able to work things out on my own rather than turn to alcohol. However, it hasn't really taken. When I drink. because of that time when I relied so heavily on alcohol, I have trouble knowing when to stop. The past six or so times I have gotten drunk, I've either puked or ended up blacking out large chunks of the evening. It's really unhealthy, yet every time I am put in a situation with alcohol, I can't help myself.

Alcohol can be crazy dangerous. I feel like since it is so normalized a lot of us forget how addictive and scary it can be. It completely takes away our control, and the more we have the more we often want it. This is true of me, and true of many of my friends. I am currently working on keeping away from alcohol because I know how unhealthy my reliance on it is.

I only hope that future generations heed these tales of warning many of us are sharing and work to not rely on alcohol. Today's college culture relies heavily on alcohol, and it can be hard to tell if people are serious when they warn against it. Well trust me, I am serious. Watch your alcohol intake. Don't become reliant. Don't become me.