A Drunk Mind Doesn't Speak a Sober Heart

I hate the phrase "a drunk mind speaks a sober heart." It's not true. When I am drunk, I have a completely different agenda than when I am sober. I can list about 800 things that I would never in a million years do when I'm sober, but I have done those things when I'm drinking. To make it short, most of us have done stuff when we are drunk that we regret the next morning; eating at that taco place that always makes you sick, calling an ex, hooking up with someone, or even fighting with a friend. It's happened to a good portion of us. The next morning, it's not a good feeling and not just because of the massive hangover. Putting the pieces together after a black out is always a nightmare, too. It's almost worse than remembering what drunk you did.

My biggest regret is the way I treated people when I was drunk. The things I said when I was drunk to the people who meant the most to me are horrible things. I am an asshole when I'm drunk. Half of the things I said to people, I never meant. I would not in my entire lifetime have told them that sober and about 90 percent of the time, I didn't mean what I was saying. I was just saying it to hurt them. I would never call my best friend a slut or tell the guy opening up to me that he's a pussy. Not only looking back do I not believe those things, but I hated that the words even crossed my mind to come out of my mouth. I most definitely didn't feel those things in my heart. Your drunk self is not the person you really are. Maybe some attributes come out, but I truly don't believe that a drunk mind is a sober heart.

Yes, sometimes the emotions we buried deep down come pouring out like we swallowed some sort of truth serum. But how many of those feelings are exaggerated and blown out of proportion by the alcohol coursing through our veins? How many tears drunkenly shed would've been mere sad discussions had we been sober? How many friendships would we still be in because we didn't pick a stupid fight over something that gently bothers us? It's not fair that those emotions aren't exaggerated when we're drinking. Drinking alters the mind and the emotions.

I'm not saying we should all be sober all of the time. I'm saying that everything said when drunk should be taken with a grain of salt. A drunk mind does not speak a sober heart. It just increases our feelings to an extreme. Obviously, we should watch how much we drink. We should watch what we say and do when we drink—a hard task when you're drinking to excess. Maybe, with work though, drinking won't be such a problem. Personally, I'm working on not drinking as much. If I could take back the things I said when I was drunk, I would in a heartbeat.

So to the best friend that won't talk to me anymore; I'm sorry. To the boy who was trying to give me the benefit of the doubt, that I made fun of; I'm sorry. To my friends that I shoved away when I was drunk and they were just trying to help me; I'm sorry. To the boy who loved me; I'm sorry. I have ruined so many relationships drunk. And being drunk doesn't excuse my actions and I know that. But I just want those people to know; my drunk mind does not speak my sober heart.