8 Deadly Shots You Shouldn't Attempt

by Jord Tury 8 months ago in cocktails

Unless, you know – you want to die.

8 Deadly Shots You Shouldn't Attempt

Shots. Does anybody really like them? Sure, you and your mates may brag about your addiction to them on a night out — but we all know it's a lie. Because, the truth is — shots aren't that nice. Shots are, in fact, just quick slams to get you on your way and into the next bar before your system realises what you're doing.

Okay, I'll admit — there are some shots out there that are somewhat tolerable. But, when it comes to impressing a certain group of mates, it all comes down to one thing. And that is — what can you really handle? What is the nastiest shot you can neck without projectile vomiting across the bar?

When it comes to painting the town red, the flag is dropped and the battle for the throne built from rancid spirits begins. But, with these rather insane eight shots — claiming that crown might just be a little too difficult. Unless, of course, you're prepared for the fallout of the ridiculous hangover and trip to A&E. But I'll let you decide on that.

8. PRAIRIE FIRE

Whoever came up with this must have some serious problems. They also must be pretty devilish when it comes to splashing a little hot sauce in your beverage. Oh — and sprinkling diced up chili peppers into them, as well.

The Prairie Fire shot consists on either tequila or whiskey and a splash of Tabasco sauce and pepper shreds. Definitely something a fiery fiend would enjoy. But, if heat isn't your thing (or dying) — I'd probably give this inferno brew a miss next time you're at the bar.

7. PRAIRIE OYSTER

Since we're on the hot shot menu, we might as well take things one step further. Take this horrendous concoction, for example. Similar to the Prairie Fire, this vile shot consists of a raw egg cracked into a glass and tabasco sauce. It can either work with tequila, or preferably bourbon. Or, you know — nothing at all. Just don't do it.

When you swing by the bar you think of ordering things like a cold beer and a pack of crisps. But, if you're the type of psychopath that rocks up and orders a Prairie Oyster at some dive bar — then you need your head checked.

6. THE TAPEWORM

If you enjoy a dollop of mayonnaise in your refreshing tabasco brew — you're in luck. The tapeworm has you covered.

Simply mix vodka with a splash of tabasco sauce. Then, dash a little pepper over the top and compliment with a squirt of mayonnaise. And yes — this is a real drink served in real bars. But, personally, I think you'd be better opting for eating an actual tapeworm than sinking one of these things. That's your call though.

5. INFECTED WHITEHEAD

Believe it or not, some moron physically stuck a branch of cottage cheese in a pool of vodka and tomato sauce and then consumed it. This then resulted in the birth of the "Infected Whitehead" shot that would later be served at the dodgiest bars in the world.

If you enjoy a bit of cheese in your Bloody Mary cocktail, then perhaps this unique mixture is something you should check out. Or, you know — not. Personally, I wouldn't serve this to my worst enemy. You, on the other hand, might enjoy swilling one up for a mate who stole your kebab money last night.

4. SMOKER'S COUGH

Seeing as we're dabbling in the food mixes, we might as well bring this other mayonnaise shot up. This one, on the other hand, contains Jägermeister with a top-off of warm mayonnaise curdles. Together, the taste can put the phlegm in your throat and give you the illusion that you've smoked sixty cigarette's. If, however, you're known to smoke sixty cigarette's daily, then this might just be a refreshing brew for you.

3. HORSE JIZZ

You'd think this would look a little dirtier, wouldn't you? Well, you try searching for "Horse Jizz" in Google and take a look for yourself at the results. To be honest, opting for "Milk and Beer" instead sort of came back with some less terrifying images. I'll leave it at that.

Two things that simply don't mix: milk, and beer. But, to some lunatic in the world, these two opposites seemed to strike a spark and form a rancid shot later known as "Horse Jizz". It's murky. It's thick. And it is most definitely vile.

2. NEW JERSEY TURNPIKE

To be completely honest with you – this one really isn't for the faint hearted. In fact, it isn't even for me. And, to think some crazy bastard out there decided this was a funny idea on the road to getting annihilated really does amaze me.

To create a New Jersey Turnpike, one must venture to the grimmest bar in the city at the last call phase of the night. Then, a bar mat soaked with various liquids from the night must be squeezed into a shot glass and consumed. This can range from all kinds of things – even essences of vomit and bacteria. So, I'll just throw this out there for you, but please – please don't try this. I can assure you it will end badly.

1. The Eggermeister

Jägermeister, in general, is a pretty potent liqueur. It has a kick to it that requires no additional chemicals in order to pack a harder punch. But, if you're feeling adventurous and enjoy the occasional challenge – then maybe the Eggermeister is for you.

To partake in said monstrosity, one must take back a shot of Jägermeister and hold it in the throat. Then, a pickled egg is thrown in and chewed thoroughly until all contents can be swallowed whole. However, as simple as this may sound, nobody can ever really barge past the initial nausea when encountering the spice from the egg and liquid combined. But, perhaps you'll have better luck, eh?

Feeling sick yet? That's alright. Me too. But I, for one, don't plan on ever taking on one of these horrendous challenges. Maybe you're braver than I and wish to set the record for the most horse jizz consumed in one evening. That's alright, too. Just drink responsibly. Oh, and please – please don't pin it on me if you end up getting your stomach pumped after attempting to slurp up a bar mat. I'd hate to have that on my conscience.

That's all for now, my friends. I hope this has left you feeling somewhat informed and aware of the potential madness found inside some dodgy dive bars. So, next time you're out and you see one of these on the menu – you'll know the score. And, if you're sensible enough to remember the consequences, then you'll opt for the drink without the cheese or tabasco sauce.

Enjoy your night. Mine's an "Infected Whitehead" – cheers.

#DayTwentyFour #VocalChallenge2020 #Proof

cocktails
Jord Tury
Jord Tury
Read next: Whiskey: A Guide and History
Jord Tury

Just a regular guy living in the West Midlands, UK.

See all posts by Jord Tury