Who am I to Call to Arms no more

Who am I? Am I the one who wears his heart on his sleeve or the one who connects with people too easily. Am I too damaged to be loved or a hopeless romantic that love so deeply that people are afraid to go so far? Am I really funny or do I laugh at my insecurities and uncomfortable situations? Am I really so negative or do I have a hard time showing my true colors due to the numbness I feel from the shame and rejection that’s been built on me. Am I really a demisexual or do I find it difficult to be truly intimate and connect with potential future partners.

Who am I truly? If I forget tomorrow, will there be someone to fill in the blanks and remind me of who I am. Am I really the person who seems too naive to be manipulated. Too trusting in people in hopes to find love or the ride or die. Am I the best friend who’s always up for anything or the only one that you talk to because I’m the only one that would answer? Is it too hard to answer such a simple question or do you not feel that you are the right person to answer it? Do I have to lie in a coffin for you to finally answer it or do you understand? Who am I?

No more new, no more start over because it’s time move forward and let the past be the past. We experience and learn and yes we do go back from time to time and in most cases when we are at our low. Opportunities of the rise can bring out the best so we venture to grow and break free from the ties that bind. What am I saying really. In some way we have already heard all of the noise and jazz. We know what brings us down, we know what makes us uncomfortable and what we need to work on.

Discipline and boundaries forces us to manage our lives so our mental state can breathe while opening the path to enjoy the world around us and explore happiness for ourselves in the present moments. Know what you cant control and learn what can be adjusted. Of course help can be necessary for a better result but in reality we have to make those difficult choices.

It’s okay because those choices is what brings the biggest growth for ourselves and our mental strength. Sometimes these events that we have to embark are difficult so we can evolve into the next state of our being. One thing to take from this is to relax. Things happen and we are going to be sad but we are only human with the right to live a happy and prosperous life.

Waking up to the sounds of the drums. Wondering what day it is and when the next event will come. Browsing through the internet to contemplate the time, only to realize what I have to do next time. Video games and building a brand, don't come easy but helps when you have a friend in hand. So many ideas with ways to implement them, consistency is key but need help organizing them. Finding your truth and expressing positivity, isn't just for those you share but for yourself in which you bear.

From blogging to gaming, the high and low, remembering that this INFJ has to take it slow. Meditation and self are is part of the growth, Knowing how to give me time, to love thyself. Interactions can cause anxiety and stress, but having a team of like-minded folks can help relieve it the most. Practice makes perfect but we can't forget the real world, where bills and family intertwine so have to make sure not to be so blind.