Tips for Dating a Transgender Man

I have been in a relationship with my transgender fiancée for over three years. When we first got together, I scoured the internet searching for lists of what to do and what not to do. I found articles about using the correct pronouns, never referring to your parner by their dead name, and being understanding. These are all good things to keep in mind, but there are a few things I had to learn from experience.

The first tip I have is to communicate with your significant other. Ask them what they're comfortable with. Ask them about their boundaries or triggers. Ask them what makes them feel more masculine. This is an important tip especially if you are unfamiliar with gender dysphoria. You want to be a safe space for your significant other, not another person they have to tip-toe around. Be open to hearing about their different needs and what you can do to be supportive. Chances are they will be open and honest with you about these things. If they are not, you may have to do a little bit of your own resarch online. Which is exactly what the rest of this article is for!

The next tip has to do with mental illnesses that often come with gender dysphoria like depression and anxiety, especially if your partner is still early in their transition. When you are not comfortable in your own body, it can lead to depressing thoughts or social anxiety. If you see signs of depression in your significant other, understand that it may be something you cannot help them with. Sometimes the only thing you can do for them is sit beside them until the feeling passes. This isn't something to be overly concerned about, though. Most likely they will appreciate the company, even if you aren't talking. However, it is not uncommon for someone to want alone time when going through a depressive episode. If your significant other hints to you that they need some space to calm down, give them that space. They might be used to dealing with these things on their own. There is no need to be bitter over your partner asking for alone time, either. Whatever the case, try to be as supportive as you can. Be a shoulder to cry on or lend an ear every now and then. Be there for them and they will probably do the same for you.

The last important tip I have for you applies to all kinds of relationships. Respect their boundaries! It's so simple. If they say they are not comfortabe with something, make an effort to remember not to do that thing. Write it down or make a note in your phone if you have to. Do not make them feel guilty for setting boundaries, either. It is perfectly fine and normal to set boudaries with your significant other. They have these boundaries for a reason, whether or not they have told you the reason.

In closing, I would like to say that everyone is different. Not all transgender men are the same. Be patient with your partner and yourself. You'll probably make mistakes, and that's okay. Humans make mistakes and your partner will probably laugh it off or let it slide if you accidentally misgender them from time to time. What is important is that you make an effort to support your significant other through their transition. Most likley, they will notice and appreciate having you by their side.