The Importance of Boyfriend by Dove Cameron

For many LGBTQ+ folks, representation in music means changing the pronouns to make it inclusive. Sometimes if we're lucky, songs about dating and relationships aren't as gendered and we can find a bit ourselves there, but more often than not, we're drowned in the heterosexual "norm".

I grew up with limited representation in media in general. As a kid, it was difficult to form my own identity when I was regularly told that was I was feeling and desperately hoping to express was wrong. I struggled to piece together my sexuality with music in my headphones telling me how love was supposedly meant to be. Being attracted to more than one gender wasn't really popping up anywhere for me lyrically. I forced myself to act straight, stay in strict gender norms and dare not venture into territories that weren't "right". There were tastes of freedom in artists like Scissor Sisters, Tegan & Sara, and Adam Lambert but sometimes things seemed so few and far between.

I've been a Dove Cameron fan for a few years now. There's just something absolutely magnetic about her. She draws you in and holds you close like an old friend you've just reunited with. Her vocal range could move mountains and her acting range could move even the most stoic individual to laughter or tears. It's hard to truly describe such a magnanimous person in words, but Dove Cameron is truly something special...and honestly someone I desperately needed when I was younger. Being a fan of hers has had a profound impact on me in MANY ways, but knowing that she's putting herself and her sexuality out there on a pedestal makes me want to conquer any fears I have myself. The little voice in the back of my mind that still carries that internalized homophobia BEGS me to be quiet, to not draw attention. Yet Dove herself lures like a siren to say no, there's a freedom here that is BEYOND liberating.

February 11th, Dove Cameron dropped a sapphic anthem that feels like a late night jazz lounge burlesque revue. Boyfriend is like husky voices whispering on earlobes where cigar smoke lingers and drag performers sashay to the bass and lip sync to the chorus in dim light. It feels like slipping into a speakeasy in the 40's with your lover while your husband is away at war, like good whiskey in her kisses. If you haven't listened yet, do yourself a favor and get lost in it. The first time I listened to it, I honestly had to stop and just sit in silence afterwards because it almost felt like going home. It was almost as if I looked at my pre-teen self and said SEE, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. It was like everyone who tried to invalidate liking more than one gender with words like "just pick" got a nice smack in the face. It was liberating. It was magical. It was everything I needed at just the right time. I cried a little, I hugged my wife. In that moment we both felt even more seen by someone who means an incredible amount to the both of us. Especially because my wife was the first person I dated after a horrifically traumatic relationship with the Boyfriend from hell. Years later, we're still together...and she's definitely been a better boyfriend than him, divined by the universe. We shared the song and marveled in the fact that someone we adored so much was putting out queer media that not only represented herself but could represent millions.

I think about the kids today who also admire Dove, who watch her all of her stuff from her Disney career who can stop and feel less alone about things they are experiencing. I think about how I literally sobbed when Kristen Stewart came out (yes, I had a Twilight phase) and someone I admired was actually queer! I honestly get emotional regularly just being a Dove fan knowing she gets it on her own level. We're operating outside the box and that's fantastic, and putting herself out there, in the spotlight saying I AM QUEER just helps us tear up the box completely. Younger people today get to find themselves in artists like Dove, like Demi Lovato, like Miley Cyrus, Kim Petras, Alyson Stoner and more. Kids at JoJo Siwa shows are reminded that love is still love regardless of genders. Their liberation leads like waterfalls to inspire others to do the same. Ten years ago, this queer revolution would seem like a fever dream. Maybe ten years from now, radio stations will be filled with bangers like Boyfriend. If people like Dove Cameron continue to inspire others to find their voice...it can and will happen.