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Stepping out of the Closet

Being the parent of an LGBTQIA+ teen...

By Latoya Giles Published 2 years ago 3 min read
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I was born in the 80s. I grew up in the 90s. During that time, homosexuality, transgender and/or same sex marriage/relationships were taboo. AIDS was being called the "gay disease". Being gay was a punchline. People used being gay as a way to emasculate a man. Gay was used to describe a man doing anything remotely "feminine". It was socially acceptable back then to use words that are considered slurs today. Gay men and men that liked to wear "womens'" clothing could, and would be assaulted or even murdered. Gender reassignment surgery was known as a sex change and was not openly discussed. Families would be embarrassed to have a homosexual child. Homosexuality was not shown on tv. It was the ULTIMATE sin.

So much has changed since then. There is an entire movement. There is a flag for them. The acronym LGBTQIA+ now exists and serves as an identity and a group to call one's own. To be homosexual or pretty much anything that was not heterosexual could, and often did, lead to be excluded and/or exiled. People are much more informed about sexuality in today's society. The word "gay" used to be an umbrella term used to describe anyone (male or female) that is not heterosexual. Now, there are subcategories like: pansexual, sapiosexual, non-binary ect. I had no idea what any of it meant by definition to be honest. I still get confused sometimes and use the terms incorrectly. I am actively learning.

My oldest daughter came to me nervous one day recently. I knew she was nervous because she kept shifting her weight from one foot to another and she was playing with her fingers. My daughter is pretty direct like I am. My daughter and I are very close. She can talk to me about anything in the world. And she does. I am always a listening ear. As a single mom, I am all she's got.

"Mommy...I think I like girls!" She blurted out. Then she paused and looked at me. I imagine she was waiting for some kind of reaction. She looked at me like she was searching my face for a sign.

"OK.", is all I said. I think she thought she would be in some sort of trouble or something. Or maybe she thought she would have to have a "talk" with me. She continued to tell me that she is also non-binary and her pronouns are "she, he, they and them". That part I reacted to. I still didn't fly off the handle or anything though, I reacted by asking questions. Like I said, I didn't know what non-binary meant and initially, I also couldn't understand a biological female being ok with being called "him". I expressed this to her. She explained as best she could. I in turn, understood the best that I could lol. I embraced her. I comforted her. I reassured her.

"I don't care who you decide to date. You can date a male or a female. They could be black or white. My only concern is that you are treated well. I will call you WHATEVER pronoun that makes you most comfortable, ok?"

I said this as I looked at her. I then kissed her cheek and hugged my baby extra tight. She needed me in that moment to show her that it was ok, that she was ok. Please, be there for your kids. This world is hard enough already so let's not make it worse. There are teens out here killing themselves over sexuality. They may be confused when they come to you. Just listen. Ask questions if you don't understand...

Humanity
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About the Creator

Latoya Giles

I'm just a single mom tryna make it. Come with me on my journey through life in writing... "A dream deferred is not a dream denied"

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