Happy Pride Month!

My name is Angel, and this is my autistic confession.

You probably know that June is Pride Month. So I thought I’d tell you a new fact about me.

No, I’m not gay. I’m not exactly anything, actually…

See, there are many variations of being gay. Being gay means you’re attracted to people of the same gender as you.. If you’re bisexual, you’re attracted to your own gender AND another gender. Then there’s pansexual and a lot of others, but they all basically mean, you’re attracted to people of the same gender as you and maybe other genders.

I’m attracted to NO genders! I’m not attracted to anyone!

How did this happen? It’s not uncommon with autistic people. It’s just another part of my brain that works differently.

I can find a person “attractive,” just like I can find an animal or small child “adorable,”:or a flower or sunset “beautiful.” It just doesn’t make me want to date them or sleep with them or anything.

Also as far as finding people “attractive,” I think people seem to become more beautiful to me as I get to know their personalities. I have a little bit of face blindness (also common in autistic people) so I tend not to even notice a person’s face, or remember them, when I first meet them. (If I ever seem to not recognize you when I see you, that is why… especially if you’ve changed your hair or something.) As I get to know the person, I start to remember their face better. If they are a kind person, they start to look beautiful to me!

Okay. So the word for this “not being attracted to any gender” is a word I kinda hate… asexual.” It makes it sound like I am a worm who can reproduce without another worm to help me. (I can’t, by the way.) The short word for it is “ace,” which is the one I usually say.

Is being ace part of LGBTQ+? Officially, yes… the full acronym is LGBTQIA2SP. The A is for Asexual. But not all asexual people consider themselves part of it. And some LGBTQ+ people don’t accept us as part of it. They believe it’s a medical problem or a lifestyle choice, or they feel like ace people haven’t faced the same amount of discrimination as they have. (Which is true, mostly because people don’t realize we exist. We’re like chameleons.)

Do I consider myself part of LGBTQ+? . I have some friends and family who are LGBTQ+ who are the coolest people I know, and the people who I’ve met in the community have understood me better than anyone else ever has… so yes, I’m proud to be part of them.

Feel free to comment or email me if you have questions… but I’ll answer some of the most common ones first, to save people some time.

1. Is it a medical condition?

NO. It’s not medical in any way.

2. Have I just never met the right person yet?

NO. I’ve met tons and tons of people. Some of them, I’ve loved very much as friends, and if I’d had any sort of attraction to anyone, it would have been them. But then I would have broken up with some of them because they turned out to be not so great after all.

3. Is it a result of trauma?

No. I’ve never felt physical attraction. I sort of pretended I did, between the ages of 7 and 12, because that’s what I thought I was supposed to be doing… and then I realized, “Uh, nope.”

4. Am I lonely?

I mean, yeah, a lot of the time, but not because of that. I’m not wishing for someone to live with me or spend every minute with me. I sometimes just wish I had someone to hang out with more often. But then I’d want them to go away after a while so I can paint rocks and feed the ducks and pet every animal.

So, yes, I’m ace, and I’m part of the LGBTQ+ community, and I’m happy about it!