An Afternoon to Remember for a Very Long Time

If you are on Grindr, it is everywhere. What I mean is everyone is doing it, the thirst trap.

My "process" on Grindr starts with location. It must answer a quick question, and that is,

how fast can you get here.

My last romantic relationship started that way. He was very close to where I was living at that time.

The hook-up followed after a very short conversation, and somehow we ended up as a couple for three years until one day, he ghosted me.

I count myself as very lucky on Grindr; 95% of the men I met online are decent, funny, and have a story.

I love talking to people, and this afternoon was no different.

It started with me looking at who is closest and then, being a photographer, the ones with a good photo on their profile get my attention and finally their blurb on their profile.

I look for honesty.

Hook Up

I was busy the past two days with a photography shoot. It was tiring. One thing that never changes, when I am tired, I want to feel intimacy.

Today was no different. I opened Grindr and had chats with a few good men, and there is this guy got me interested as soon as he said;

I paint.

More than the hookup, or should I say, sex, I am more interested in the story of the person I meet online and what becomes "our story."

It is why when I met someone recently who is a songwriter, I wrote a story about him - The Story of Two Moons, a Stranger, and a Lazy Afternoon.

At first, we both thought the "encounter" wasn't happening. I had plans in the afternoon, and so did he.

But the Universe has other plans, and when the Universe conspires, you have to say yes.

I took a nap, and when I woke up, he was back online. And I invited him, and he said yes.

The Painter

I sensed right away; this was going to be different. I can't say what it was, but it felt different as soon as he came over, and our eyes met. Not only that, but I won't say there is a greater physical attraction because it wasn't even that.

I chose not to ignore my intuition, but I also wanted the intimacy I wanted for weeks. So, I have to remind myself why he is here.

He is a gentleman. He took the lead without me asking. Furthermore, he leans over and gives me our first kiss.

I don't ask for kisses with my hookups, but I will not "walk away" from a good kiss. And the painter does know how to kiss.

He was both gentle and passionate.

While he is twenty years younger, he was confident in how he told me,

"let me teach you how to kiss."

It never hurts my ego when it comes to sex. I would be the first to admit I know little, and if I rated myself from 1to 10, I would be a good 5.

There are things that I don't know, and most of the time, during sex, my mind is busy trying to figure out the man I am with.

The same was happening with the painter. I was in awe. While I enjoyed every second of him, I was also busy checking out my feelings about him.

It wasn't a romantic feeling. It was more. Not only that, but it was a communion on a soul level.

I was once told that there are no accidents, especially with the people that you meet. You will meet the people you are supposed to meet in this lifetime.

And sex is the ultimate connection one can have with a person. I know with some of our sex partners, we can say that there was nothing or that it was a one-time thing, but I get older every man that comes my way, even the hookups to me, leaves me a lesson, and it is usually a lesson meant for me.

It tells me what I want and what I don't want.

Sex with a stranger is my teacher.

I have learned to let go of strangers, or when they choose never to say anything to me afterward, I respect their choices, and I submit to my choices too.

The Confession

The story came after he said goodbye.

I asked him to send me his Instagram link where he posts his paintings and artworks.

I also found out later that he is from a place that I loved. It was in 2013 that I witnessed their place's festival. It has been compared with the New Orleans Mardi Gras.

One of my photographs published is very similar to the photo he sent to me, and that to me was an undeniable connection.

Soon after, he came forward with his truth, that he was only on Grindr to explore and that he was supposed to tell me that he has a partner and that he was sorry that he didn't say when he came over.

The Love Story

At the back of my mind, he could have been more.

But now I know it is not going to happen. He tells me how much he loves his partner. And while he admits that fooling around is wrong, he said sorry to me. He wasn't sorry that we met. We were supposed to meet up for coffee in the evening, but we never did.

All I can, tell him is my favorite line from a singer I have grown to love and millions worldwide, Nighbirde, that It is Okay! And all I can tell myself and my heart is;

You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy - Nightbirde.

While the love story that crossed my mind briefly will never happen, this afternoon to me remains to be a love story, it is never romantic, but love comes in different shapes and forms.

It was a love story of myself, of myself being reassured by the Universe that loving myself is the greatest love of all.

As I told him, it is an afternoon to remember for a very long time and that whatever happens next;

It is okay!