The Grim F*ckers Weed Growth Journal

Hello, and welcome to 'The Grim Fuckers'; a diy weed growing and caring team of soul sisters.

Growing and caring of our bud that is.

I am Ember. 21.

My partner and soul sister is King. 21.

We're here to make weed to fuck people up the best of ways. Still, in the early stages of our business, we have just started the process of growing. Though it was a long process and we're here to tell you what we did, the good and the bad.

We are not professionals by any means. We just love week, especially smoking it. So we tried growing it.

All of this started with a pleasantly stoned night between us. After two bong loads and a few dabs, we suddenly thought to create a mini-area for a collection of weed plants. At first, I thought that we would forget this idea and just continue to pay the dispensary prices.

However, the very next morning in the middle of my headache (to which I call a 'weed hangover'), King suddenly asked 'So Ember, are we really gonna grow weed?' That one sentence led us to days and weeks of research, dozens of websites, YouTube videos, and blogs on growing weed from seeds.

Not easy by the way. Half the shop sites I went to were fake and impossible to buy from. The other half were expensive as hell and way out of the price range of two girls mooching of my mother.

At first; we tried using my mothers' seeds. 20+-year-old seeds that were protected only by a plastic cap. We tried for two weeks to get those bastards to grow. Soaking them in water, the paper towel germination, even planting them in soil but those suckers wouldn't grow.

Now some of you are asking 'What is the paper towel germination?'. The 'paper towel germination method' is a simple, cheap, yet effective way to start the growth of seeds.

Take healthy, fresh as possible seeds and place them about two inches apart on a damp paper towel. Not soaked, as it will drown the seeds, but moist enough where mild growth would start. Use another damp paper towel to cover the seeds. Gently press the towels onto the seeds. After the seeds are wrapped, place them in a plastic bag with 2-4 tbls of regular tap water on the bottom.

Tip #1: Blow a breath of hot CO2 into the bag, seal it, and place it in a dark and warm place. By a furnace, near a humidifier, in a freshly used dryer. Be creative.

Deep down, I knew these seeds wouldn't grow. King thought so, but she didn't know the age of the seeds. I first thought this wouldn't work, but we kept trying. We even did some extremely early shopping.

Amazon is our friend.

For just under $200 dollars, we were able to create a beautifully hidden grow area.

Tip#2: Expect a large start-up fund. We got our fund by collecting soda cans, doing odd jobs, waiting for government money. Expect at least $150- $400 in a start-up fund.

Here is a list of IMPORTANT things for our start-up:

- Plastic Bags and Paper Towels

- Self-Watering Pots (Not pots with little showers. 5-inch pots to start off with, and a thick piece of string that sits in the water)

- Mylar Film (A metallic sheet used to promote the greenhouse effect. Tin foil also works as a cheap substitute)

- Dirt Cubes (Small seed starters; store-bought or just good soil in egg cartons)

- Powdered and Liquid Fertilizer (Be sparse with this. Too much could kill the plant)

- Grow Lights (Full Spectrum is a must. To save the energy bill go for LED lights)

- Small Humidifier (Warm Mist is preferred but a cool-mist is acceptable)

- Miniature Fan (Used to keep the air clean and circulating)

- Duct Tape

- A large towel

There's a difference between King and me; I am an introverted homebody whose only dependable social source is King. King is an extroverted adult-child who parties with different groups of interesting people. One of those interesting people gave her a bag of a couple of dozen fresh seeds for us to use.

After two weeks of waiting for the crap seeds to grow; it took only 24 hrs for the roots to sprout. We were so damn happy we near pissed ourselves. We were so proud of our weed babies.

Tip #3: Wait until the roots are at least an inch long. Better, safer, more likely to grow

After a good wait; we mixed some soil from the dirt in my backyard; filled with natural nutrients; mixed in some mild fertilized dirt, and started the planting process. Using a pencil, we poked holes an inch and a half deep into the soil, ever so gently place the seeds root down into the soil, cover them with dirt, and place them in our hidden area.

Tip #4: The soil should be damp but not soaked. Again, drown the seeds.

Now, our hidden area. How did we set it up? What did we use?

We used the towel, duct tape, tin foil, pots, lights, and humidifier. And our growing area is under a desk. Simple yet effective.

Take the foil and line all six surfaces; the walls, floor, and roof. This creates a greenhouse effect. Use heavy-duty foil if no access to mylar. Use reflective duct tape to stick it to the walls if you don't hide the tape on the other side of the foil.

Then you move onto the lights. Sticking the lights on the ceiling and one on the back wall. Try to have them all connected to a timer. Start with 12-hour intervals. This gives them the sunlight they need while still being able to stay hidden. The towel can be used as a curtain to hide it.

After that, place the planted weed a few inches apart. Place the small fan in an area where air can circulate. Keep them under the grow lights and wait. Check on them every day.

Tip #5: Talk to your plants. Sing to them. Play them soft music. Plants have feelings too. Make them happy. Make them feel loved.

Any leftover marijuana seeds shall be placed in an air-tight container to preserve them.

This is as far as we have gotten so far but we'll update when possible.

Summary:

We are investing time, money, energy, and patience into these plants despite there being a possibility they won't grow or even be female. It's a risk, a gamble that not everyone has the ability to grow.

Know the law.

Measure your space.

Prepare mentally and financially.

And pray.