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High Maintenance

A guide to maintaining the relationship with your "Guy"

By Marc JanetPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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You’ve watched some of HBO’s “High Maintenance” and want to know, is that really how weed is sold in NYC? That answer is, well, yes.

Maybe you’ve just moved to New York City and you have been buying weed from the guys hanging around St. Marks and NYU. First, stop, I am pretty sure it's more dirt than weed. Second, keep reading.

In a city where everything is deliverable, there is no exception with weed.

You generally need a referral from a current customer to get approved by one of the many delivery services. While I can’t just hand out referrals left and right, I can tell you that in a city where every corner you turn the smell of marijuana lingers, you’ll have no problem finding a new friend to give you their referral. All you have to do is start a conversation and ask! And don't be a creep. It really is as simple as that, sharing is caring in this community.

Now that you’ve gotten someone to recommend a delivery service, it's important to not to become one of those dreaded customers.

Here is your guide on maintaining your high once you’ve found your own version of “The Guy.”

Be cool in your text

“Hey can you come by?” or “Hey can I get a delivery?” works great. Also give the address, regardless if it's your first or hundredth time.

Make sure you will be home, obviously

Don’t make them wait while you’re still three stops away and need at the bodega.

Have the money ready

I can’t stress this enough, please don’t have to run to the ATM or be waiting on your roommate to get back with the cash.

Be patient

NYC is a busy city and there are delays. If you can wait an hour for seamless you can wait for weed.

Wear clothes

No one wants to see your junk, even if you think it’s nice. It's 2020.

Make sure they can get in your building

If you have a doorman, don’t use a fake name. If your buzzer is broken, tell them.

Act like you've been there before

It's like flying private. Yes, seeing a case filled with weed products out of Willy Wonka's factory is cool but don't make a big deal out of it.

Be friendly, but not their friend

If you see your delivery person outside of your transaction do not approach them.

Do not ask for a delivery in the middle of a party.

No one wants the masses gathering to touch and smell the merchandise

Be hospitable

If it's out, offer water. Let them use the bathroom if needed.

Do not say the word cop, ever.

EVER. It should not be in your vocabulary for any interactions of this nature. EVER.

Buy something!

Do not have them show up and then try to not buy something because you don’t like the selection. Once they're there, you're buying.

Weed delivery has come a long way, no longer is it just your standard eighths and quarters of flower, many services now have, cartridges, oils, tinctures, shatter, budder, edibles, lube, and more. Remember just be cool, not too weird, and treat your “Guy” with respect.

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