GROWING

I truly believe some people don't know they are responsible for their own happiness, or at least I didn't for most my life. I based my mood on how others treated me or made me feel. I had been in mostly abusive relationships and I was ready to break free from the norm. This was always a scary thought for me because I know I struggle with any change, good or bad. I had been overweight most my life and decided to have a gastric bypass. I've been about 120 pounds lighter and have maintained it for the past 16 years. Once I learned I didn't need other people in order to be happy, I had to find activities and hobbies that helped me make myself happy. I had to work on me.

I was a teacher for about 18 years of my career life and I'm currently working in the Human Resource office at a private school for autist adults. I have two kids, that are actually not kids at all and are in their early twenties. I have 3 step daughters and 5 grandkids form them. I believe that a lot of negative things happen in our society including hate crimes due to lack of education or lack of knowledge about a subject. I also think the best gift you can give your kids or anyone you care about is your time and knowledge. Make people feel important and make sure you feel like you're important to others.

Divorce and other circumstance's lead me to live in a beautiful house in the middle of a cherry orchard. It also lead me on a path to a whole new life. A life where I could be myself, and not care so much about what others think. I for the first time came to the terrifying realization that I had to make myself happy and find out what Martha liked to do. This was a scary thought because I've always put everyone else's wants or needs before my own. What was I to do now? I had to actually start something on my own and finish it on my own over and over again, until I found what I liked or enjoyed doing. No more undecisive me, I had to start making my own choices and take control of my own life.

I struggle with Adult ADHD and choose not to medicate myself the traditional way with prescription pills. I have to watch what I eat, have a strict routine and follow a schedule just to stay on tract. I started trying to fit new hobbies and activities where I could and found that I loved most everything I tried. I sewed a few quilts for family, I made beautiful large paper flowers and built an entertainment center out of scrap wood. I painted and distressed vintage furniture, and hand painted glass or canvases. I tried wood burning which was a lot of fun and did a lot of cake decorating. I could do most anything I put my mind to and I did.

After years of being the "Jan of all trades", but never really being a professional at anything I tried out gardening. I'm a Taurus astrological sign and Earth sign, I should love gardening. My roommate grew marijuana outside in a green house. I did some research and now that marijuana was legal I could, with the proper permits grow my own beautiful plants. I had a lock put on a door in one of the rooms in my home and spent a few thousand dollars on lights and equipment and found my true love.

Growing marijuana is when I'm my best self as far as hobbies. I have studied and learned so much and they are so resilient just like me. Throughout the 3 month growing process I have to trim the plants growth back and at the end when they are harvested. The plants are wonderful but my main hobby is photographing them and keeping my Instagram following growing. I love the creativity of the long process and it is so satisfying to see the beautiful end project.

I hope that one day weed becomes more readily talked about and our youth is educated on the importance of its medical use for the future.