In 2014 I was diagnosed with Schizo-Affective Disorder. Basically, I am overstimulated by voices, sights, and feelings, if my stress levels go up or my anxiety is too heightened. For support I was staying around only family and spent much of my time at my parents home.
There is a dirt right-away at the end of my parents driveway. The neighbor who has lived there since we moved in back in 1989 has a grape vine that grows over her fence. This leaf as huge as it was is one of many plants that have trickled down over whether it be from bird carrying seeds or the wind many of her beautiful garden plants have made the trip to this side of the fence. I walk down there when I’m feeling overwhelmed or need a breath. I limited myself to cigarettes by saying I wouldn’t smoke on my parents property. So, to the pebbles right-away I’d journey many times talking to Universe and nature watching the animals squirrels bunnies and birds dash between the trees wondering what they were thinking, sometimes I’d pray, other time poetically speak making up poems about everything I encountered; the voices I’d hear, the sounds of the neighborhood, the sky and the beauty around me, sometimes the coincidences the nature had to my day, and how all of it fit together.
Light is light in truth , In vino , In the going vine is light truth , Lip Service , Pathological Liar , Honesty with ourselves , Honesty in ourselves too , I have a neighbor.
The Universe has a way of letting us see the little details in life when the world itself is too overwhelming. This same grape vine is growing next to another plant and the evolution I find amazing is that the adaptation of closeness between the plants has the two sharing leaf forms. Their unique detailed shapes were joined together in some leaves on each plant as if cross pollination had occurred overnight. Just as the multiculturalism of the world has been a meshing of differences since the beginning of time these life forms were finding a way to be with one another. I think especially right now the world needs to step back and look at how nature adapts in such a loving, kind, union and take a noted realization that we are all connected in our environments. We can really learn so much about peaceful living from nature.
I found the detail in the vain of the leaf so interesting because at the time I was having a really hard time connecting to my on body evolution, whether it be my aging or finding strength to overcome my illness, the fusion of these two plants and the ability to thrive in the environment by forming a new gives me strength to know what ever changes and challenges come my way the possibility to survive it is engrain in all life forms.
The main detail of this photograph, the veins of the leaves allowed me to see a correlation in the trees and leaves with that of the brain. Dendritically driving my thought right to the science of new discovery surprisingly new that we don't have to settle that our brains and their Neural-pathways have the ability to regrow to open up new possibilities of new healing and new truths and beliefs. The uniqueness of the human is that we are mobile so we have the chance unlike plants to choose our environments and where we wish to thrive in union. The connectivity to the natural world we are in is so truly important and one of such hope. For me it was especially helpful for my own mind and triumph over my mental illness.
If these life forms can still stand after merging, trimming, weathering the storms, then so can I. The detail had me look closely at my own skin patterns, as well and the unique designs and textures. I realized how my brain knows every last one of those creases and smoothness and that if it’s strong enough to retain such information it’s strong enough to make better Me each day. I saw the love in the knowing of all things that God must have for each of His life on earth and the need to show myself above all the same love.