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easy morning

or just a late evening

By Lexie MacKenziePublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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mornings are easier when you spend them with friends

I had never seen a sunrise before that morning. June 24, 2019, 5:32 am. Throughout school I would always have horrible sleeps. I have been fortunate to be able to travel and explore the world, but this is also where I would catch up on sleep. Being in a relaxed atmosphere made sleepless nights go away. Being in a relaxed atmosphere allowed me to let go of the things I held onto in my chest. I have always wanted to wake up and see the sunrise, but I never was able to. I was never able to pull myself out of bed on time.

For me, I deal with anxiety, and it was pretty severe during middle school. This was the culprit of my social life. Being tired was a very common thing. Being irritated and distancing myself from those I care about was common. Keeping good relationships with friends was a very hard thing. Last year, I had finally found a group of friends that meant a lot to me, and that made me feel a part of their group. I never thought that I would find them so soon. The anount of times I have gone through friend groups is unhealthy.

When things start to get better in life, you can feel it. When people really care about you - you can sense it. You would not know you have been living with less than you deserve until things really fall into place. You don’t know what you can have, until you have it. But you also don’t know what you had, until it’s gone.

I went to a party. I have always hated parties. The whole process of who’s invited, who’s not, its envious to those who care. This was not an ordinary party. That sounds cheesy, but it was not. I had gone go my friends house to get ready. There we bonded.

We were all invited to stay the night, so we did. We layed out sleeping bags out, and of course ripped open the snacks. Sleeping in a room with 8 girls; did you expect that we would sleep?

The thought of going to a gazebo to view the sunrise arose. “Can we actually?” I begged. A group of us went, while the others stayed in bed. The walk to the ocean was quiet, calm, and bright. The small talk between us as we were all obviously overtired, was the only noise at this hour.

I have never had so much energy at 5:32 am. I had hope that maybe this would be my summer. Maybe these would be MY friends. Maybe this will be the turning point of MY life. The sunrise wasn’t even that good. What made it good was the people that I had surrounded myself with, and the fact that it was only the beginning of the summer. And I had found my people.

I remember lying in bed multiple times years ago thinking, “is this it?”. Is this all that there is? I had not realized the true value of the smallest things. I had not realized that indeed- I can find what I need. A stable group of friends, a bit of happiness, and even a few laughs. The sunrise was just the beginning. That doesn’t mean that the dark days are over. They never will be. But they can be diminished.

I took this photo to let me remember. To not let me forget that things will work out. To represent a new beginning of a day, yet a new beginning of my life. I wanted to share that indeed, you can do this too. You can find what you need in the midst of the summer sun. You can find what you need in the smallest places, but yet the biggest to you. I have never liked mornings. I always felt sick in the morning, and longed for the end of the day where I could escape from the world once again. Yet this morning was much different. In fact, this was the easiest morning I have ever experienced.

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