An Artist's Evolution

I was one of those kids who came out as me. I knew I wanted to be an “artist” when I grew up since the time I was three. I wrote it down in my school project. I drew myself with an easel, palette, and beret and while the only of those things I use now is the beret I’d say my baby self would be proud of me for what I do today. I am a mixed media artist & tarot reader ~ your regular sideshow attraction. I am a person of many names and even more games. I love to imagine, create, and realize.

I remember the first craft I ever did on my own. Of course, it involved scissors—which, I’m not gonna name names of who was looking after me that day, but I was around four years old and grabbed kitchen scissors. Truly a natural! Anyway, I was watching an old Canadian broadcast show called Mr. Dress Up. They would do crafts on the show and one day, I was sitting alone at my kitchen table and decided to craft along side them. I use two paper plates and some medical grade tape and made an aquatic shadow box. It was absolutely precious. And the adult in question was pretty impressed. Everything went smoothly.

As I got older, I took on more art forms. Crayons and markers were becoming paint and pencils. I started writing songs at age 7 because keeping a diary gets old. I started my first novel at 8 but it mysteriously disappeared one day (which was probably for the best because that was one intense children’s murder mystery). I couldn’t get enough. The more immersed in my art I became, the more confident I’d become. In my angst-filled middle school years, I began exploring the idea of photography. This was back before camera phones existed and we had digital cameras. The days! I took a lot of photographs that I still consider to be amazing for how rudimentary it was. I had an eye for things.

I never thought I was “good enough” to be a model – whatever that meant to 12-year-old me – but I watched the hell out of America’s Next Top Model. I knew if I wanted to explore photography at my own speed and by myself, I’d have to get that self in front of the camera. Well, folks… I got good at it. I’m not here to lie to anybody! I did! I learned photography and modeling simultaneously for the purpose of executing my own artistic ideations without needing anyone to accompany me. For me, that’s a really beautiful thing. But I will always love company and collaborations.

Rather than juggle all these things individually, I eventually just wanted to be the art instead. (And yes, I AM a Taurus, thank you for recognizing me. RIP Dali.) I began mixing the modeling, photography, painting, writing, and crafting into one: I started making collages of myself. My usual process is doing a set in collaboration with a photographer or acting as photographer. I’d pick the best shots to publish in books, order the books, and cut out images of me from the printed copies. It sounds convoluted in retrospect, but it was my wonderful process. Sometimes the photos were published alongside words, whatever! I’d take the cut-outs and glue them on paper, into paintings, onto other cut-outs; just all sorts of stuff. It became my favorite way of making art. Some of my most iconic pieces are the ones I’ve collaged.

And the funny thing is, for me, is that I stayed rudimentary. I published many unedited works (better at that nowdays). I hate when my photos are edited, though I’m learning what fun that can be. But I still use that sixty-seven cent paint sometimes even if I don’t have a brush. Just an artist. That’s what’s up!