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What Would Rocket Do?

by Kim Slone 2 years ago in satire
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Volume 1, April and May 2020

This is my journal (good word, huh?) of early Spring, from April 3 to 31 May, 2020. I have no idea what any of those numbers are about but I know they are important to People. And People are my life.

People are life to every dog. Some time long long ago (all dogs dream of this, as I know from talking to my home dogs when I go walkies) a wolf and a human got together. Both sides claim it was their idea, so I really don’t know who started the whole thing. What I do know is, and this comes down from the lore, is that a wolf decided that a group of people were easy to follow and that wolf could clean up their campsite after they went to sleep, and that they left a lot of good food go to waste. It may have been a mother wolf who needed extra protein and had to stay in the area because her puppies were nearby and the easy pickings the people left behind were too good to pass up.

In any case, the people didn’t shoo him or her away and after a few generations wolves were following people. The people realized that the wolf could help them hunt and set about luring the wolves closer and closer, and well, the rest is history. The wolves’ ears relaxed and they learned to grin friendly at the people, and the people let the wolves live with them in their shelters. A good time was had by all.

Some people today say that keeping dogs is keeping slaves. I don’t know about that. I’m more of a family dog. My people seem to think that my job is to play with them. So of course I do that as often as possible. I also do the normal job for a dog, of protecting the family. I do this without being told.

My family consisted of Mommy and a few cats. At first all the cats were guys, like me, but a couple years back a pregnant momma cat came to the back porch and Mommy let her in. She immediately took over the house and barked out her orders like a, well, being a momma to be, she kinda had to be a bit of a bitch. I was proud of her. She would make any dog momma proud. Momma cat became a momma bitch and I told her I would protect her puppies when they came, so she let me look in on them when she needed to stretch her legs. I never had trouble with her. As the puppies grew, they came to look at me as their dad.

Anyway, that was a few years ago and a couple of the older cats have gone. Now there are 7 cats in the house, and me. Also, now there are more people.

Mommy found a mate and now I have a Daddy, and also 2 other people who Mommy calls house mates. I’m not sure what the arrangement is, but I know Mommy only mates with Daddy. I can’t miss it, sometimes I get kicked off the bed. The other 2 people are Jojo and Dougie. Twice when Mommy went away, Jojo and Dougie took care of feeding and watering us and taking me for my twice daily walkies. Mommy said it had to do with work, but I missed her hard, and was glad to see her when she came home. Excuse me, but I need to take a break now, if I were a people I’d cry.

There now, I feel better. Mommy doesn’t have to go away now, and I’m glad. I started writing this to keep track of the days when Mommy started doing workies from home. So sit back and read my musings if you like. Mommy and Jojo took pictures of me too, and there are a few of them here. If you have anything to add, any notes, feel free to put them in the margins. It’s your book. Have fun.

Shake a paw

Rocket

PS: Oh yeah, there’s a glossary (a place where you explain new words – I’m collecting words as I go) in the back of this journal. It may help.

So I'm going walkies this morning, in my territory, when I see (bad eyesight in the gray pre-dawn) something about my size that wasn't there yesterday. I don't smell a living creature.

I tell mommy something's up. Grrrr. She says Let's go see and I get closer and sniff. Nothing. Something I've smelled in the basement. No worries.

Mommy says it's a sawhorse. Whatever that means. Obviously not the same thing as the horsies that pull carts with people in them. Not alive.

Why is it called a horse? I don't know. People are weird.

Whatever. I'm still on the job, finding out about the world and giving you heads up. Until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning, puppy people!

Here's one from the mailbag:

Dear Rocket,

Dude! What kind of dog are you?

Shake a paw back atcha

Duane

Dear Duane,

I'm a cross between a bulldog and a shih Tzu. If you put this into your search engine (Mommy says don't use Google like it's a verb) you get a lot of pictures. Some of them look like me.

There was a movie about 2 guys making silly jokes, riding a doggie van. Dum and dummer. One of them said people should get a bulldog and a shih Tzu together and see what kind of puppies you get. Silly boys.

Most bullschitz are made from French bulldogs -- they're smaller than the English ones. They're closer to the shih Tzu size. I don't know. Mommy thinks my bulldog ancestor was an English bulldog because of my size.

Whatever. I know sometimes people get a puppy they can't handle. My first mommy did that. Lived in an apartment, had a couple of people puppies, man too sick to play with me or teach me, I lived in a cage all day, then she got home and had to look after the house. Nobody to play with a puppy. First mommy gave me to her friend, a lady with cats. Temporary space, but it was cool. I met my mommy when she visited.

Now I live with new cats in a big house, lots of rooms, with mommy and daddy and Jojo and Dougie. Always somebody to play with me and take me walkies. Life is good.

So that's the story of Rocket. I probably gave you more information than you need. But remember, when you go get a puppy, know what kind of puppy you can keep. And if you are overworked, adding a puppy will not make things easier. My first mommy did the right thing. So did my Auntie Krista.

Peace out.

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning, puppy people!

Jojo has a phone with a camera -- I swiped it, reversed the camera focus and took a selfie. It's fun! Jojo is Joanne Nicholson, and she takes care of me when my people mommy travels.

This morning walkies, I smelled Stinky Cat. That's the small black cat people don't let inside, has a big fluffy tail and a while stripe down its back. I handle a lot of smells but stinky cat is a total other smell. One time I went to sniff a stinky cat's tail and got sprayed in my mouth! Hit the back of my throat! Mommy got the smell out of my fur but I had bad breath for weeks -- mommy said so. Food tasted funny, too.

Speaking of cats -- any of you tail-waggers out there live with cats? I had 5 boy cats, then 1 died. Then a girl cat showed up and had cat puppies. I kept the 4 cats downstairs when the cat puppies were little, so momma cat let me sniff them.

Cat puppies are a little different than dog puppies -- cat puppies have sharp claws (!) and hang on with them. They hung on to ME with them. I didn't snap, though, even though it was sharp. They were just puppies.

Now momma cat and three of the cat puppies live with us too. That's a lot of cats! Good thing the house is big enough for all the cats to get space.

Well, gotta go now. See you tomorrow morning after walkies. Tell you all the news.

Shake a paw

Rocket

Hi! Consider your face licked.

Don't worry, I sniff everybody's pocket for treats. Making my rounds, sniffing the posts and greeting all my puppy friends, leading my people -- they need to walk faster, I help them. Don't know why they like to pick up my poo, but you know -- people get weird about things.

I get real busy most days, being my people mommy's personal trainer. She should be real fit by the time summer comes.

Snow is melting now, I can smell the grass again. The critters underground were running around all winter, I can smell them under the grass. And we have stinky cat prowling around at night -- I smell their trails in the morning. Morning walkies I want to go everywhere, there's so much to sniff in the ditches.

Mommy says one morning my head was in a ditch and a bear came out of the woods and ran right in front of us. I missed it, so I don't know. I was busy sniffing the ditch. Nothing good that day, but oh well.

Tell you what -- you like to hear from me, Rocket, you go ahead and like my page and tell your friends. Consider your face licked.

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning, puppy people!

Today is a great day for walkies. It's trash day, when mommy puts the trash and recycle boxes out -- today it's for all the boxes and papers, the things that aren't metal or glass.

Wow, I just realized, people got a lot of stuff!

On the news mommy told me there's a tiger in a zoo that has the virus. That virus is why my puppy friends aren't on walkies the same time as me, and why mommy is working at home.

I like mommy at home. But mommy says virus is a bad thing.

Anyhow, this tiger has the virus. Mommy says a tiger is a really big cat that has to live in a zoo, or in a forest where it is born. Tigers can't live in houses. OK, so far, so good.

So what is the problem? Zookeeper kiss this tiger on the lips or what?

People live complicated. To much for me to figure out. Just don't kiss any tigers on the lips, OK? Stay safe out there.

Shake a paw,

Rocket

Good morning, puppy people!

It's a great morning for walkies -- light mist bringing out all the smells. I had a few new items to sniff on my rounds today, good thing mommy had the time to wait.

No stinky cat, but plenty of cat activity. A few houses have cats now, along with their dogs.

Used to be cats and dogs couldn't live together. Now people try it and sometimes it works. You have cats so you have some company but can leave for the weekend. You have dogs so you have constant company. A dog never leaves you alone. No way. I'm on the job every minute, my mommy would be hopeless without me.

Here's a pic of me with my cat puppy son, Hercules. Mommy says we're a sniff out the clues team -- Herc and Rocket. I think it should be Rocket and Herc, he's hopeless without supervision. But whatever.

Here we are on the job. Hard at it.

Till next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Happy Thursday before Easter, all my puppy peeps! That short for people, right? I'm a good dog, I'm a smart dog...yayyy!

Today on walkies the air is cold again, not too much, felt good in my fur. No stinky cat, and bears put their noses out of their dens and stayed back in.

I lick your face, everybody who like my page!! I'll send out another invite. You like my page, you can click the bell and get notified -- that's a big word, right? You can find out about my posts.

Or you can just check every morning -- I write after walkies

Jojo wants me to say, everybody thinking about getting a dog to help a person --- go get one!! Good idea!

Some dogs more friendly, but you go to the shelter, they're all friendly. Get a family dog, good for the kid with special needs, ya!

What you waiting for? GO!! Then come back and show pics

Till next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning, Happy Good Friday, my puppy people!

Some humans go to church today. That seems to be good for them, No treats for pups, though.

Some humans have big dinners, like on Sunday, today. This is good. Bones and other treats, mmmmmm!

Today on walkies it was colder than yesterday, but less wind. Time to sniff every mound of grass, as well as the telephone poles. Wanted to sniff a long time but Mommy had to move. We do walkies after dinner, too. Probably warmer then.

Still don't know why people pick up dog poo. The cats poo in boxes and they get shoveled. But dog poo is picked up immediately. Not everyone. Some dogs poo is still there when I go walkies.

Maybe their people don't pick up poo? Don't have bags? Don't bother because they don't need it?

Mommy doesn't need it either, just puts the poo bag into a bucket on the porch. Hmmm. Have to think some more to figure this one out.

Ohhh, some times when I go to the Vet Place, Mommy gives the Vet my poo. Maybe I'm going to the Vet Place? Oh no!

Don't get me wrong, the Vet is a nice lady. But one time I was there, they put a really big needle in me and it hurt. It was on the back of my neck. Mommy says I got chipped, whatever that means. She said it happens only once, no worries, no more needles that big.

I don't know. Better to be watchful.

As always, I'll keep you posted.

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning, puppy people!

It's Saturday, time to sleep in, ya!

Gotta go walkies, though. Alla time.

Good walkies, good sniffing, no bears yet. Wondering if I see a bear this spring?

You know bears move fast -- Dam fast!

Good thing bears are afraid of people and dogs. I see a bear in my yard I bark, bark, bark, wake up the people. Always tell Mommy/Daddy about what's going on outside. People got thumbs, can use things, make nasty things and animals go away, for sure.

Wish I had thumbs. What could I do with thumbs? Open my own wet food and treats, ya! Sew my own bunnies when they open, maybe. Tickle Jojo!!! Ya, that would be fun.

Well, good-bye for now. There's some heavy napping to be doing.

Shake a paw

Rocket

Happy Easter!

Today on walkies I lifted my leg at the tire on the van. I like the van. Lifting my leg and widdling on the tire tells everybody where the van goes that this is my van.

I like going ridies in the van with my people. When it was just Mommy and me, she took me everywhere. I really like the dump and share shed, all the smells there!

The share shed is where people put things they don't want anymore. It's at the dump. Not trash, not garbage, just don't want it anymore. Have the new one, don't want the old one. Mommy says it's good for people puppies who are big enough to live in their own place.

Mommy finds teddy bears and bunnies for me there.

One day Mommy's mommy and daddy came in a van. It was also their house! I found out when their house was in our driveway, and we visited. While Mommy and her mommy sat at the table and drank coffee, I went under a curtain. I saw the van! The van driving part. Gran-mommy (Mommy's mommy) and Gran-daddy have a van-house! We need to get one!

I went back to Mommy and looked at her, hard, so she would know what I wanted to say. I think she got it.

Then I went and sat with Gran-Mommy. Gran-mommy's and gran-daddy's are great. They like to give treats.

That's it for now. Tomorrow I'll tell you more about ridies in a van.

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning, and happy Easter Monday, puppy people!

I heard Easter is also a Monday. Sounds like a good idea to me. I get it, people has to work to get things we all need. But extra day to stay home and pet us furfaces, all good.

Jojo said the share shed not open now. That's ok. I have all the bunnies I need right now. Mommy can make more, if I shred all these at once. Not likely, lol!

Ridies in the van, I remember before the snow and Merry Christmas, all the people took a really long ridies in the van. Ridies all day. Stop at supper time, go into a house with lots of rooms, one room made it feel like the floor fell away, then door opened and lots of other doors. Big house.

Open the door, a big room with 2 big beds, a tv like home, a bathroom -- don't like baths, but they're quick -- and a coffee cooker, and a ding ding cooker like home. Everybody put their bags on the floor, took clothes out, took food chest out, put food in the really small cold box.

This room was just like a house. We were in a new house! Didn't have the cats with us.

Then Mommy and Daddy went out and I had to stay with Jojo and Doug. Oh, no!! Mommy and Daddy left Rocket in a house with other people! Not good, not good at all. I cried and went around the room, couldn't relax. Not good at all.

After a bit Mommy and Daddy came back! They brought people treats. Mommy gave me some. I slept on Mommy and Daddy's bed.

In the morning, everybody go out, but take me with them. We walked all day. Not like at home, lots of grass. This was all sidewalk. Daddy left us for a bit and I stayed with Mommy and Jojo and Dougie. We stopped and ate burgers. I like burgers.

We found Daddy and had more burgers. Then we went more long walkies on all sidewalk. The all sidewalk place was interesting, lots of posts to sniff, but I wouldn't want to live there. I stayed close to Mommy and Daddy.

There was one place where the sidewalk looked like water, the kind you can see rocks underneath. But it was hard sidewalk. I wasn't sure about this, so I stayed to the side where the sidewalk wasn't see-thru.

I was glad to get back in the van for the long ridies home. Had more burgers. I like burgers.

That's all for the big ridies adventure in the all-sidewalk place.

Shake a paw,

Rocket

Good morning, puppy people! Time to get back to work after the weekend, ya.

No different. Mommy working from home now. That's good for us furfaces.

I'll be on the job soon, relaxing under her desk.

Today on walkies -- SNOW! All the snow melted, was warm, yesterday got cold, had snow over night.

I love fresh snow! I ran all walkies.

Yesterday Mommy cooked a turkey. Not even Happy

Thanksgiving or Merry Christmas, and mommy roasted a turkey in the hot box. Lots of treats for me!!

Mommy tells Jojo not more treats, then gives me turkey treats.

Snow -- I heard Mommy and Daddy talking. After the snow melts, they plant onions. Then it snows again and lasts only 1 day. That's called Onion Snow.

3 years ago we had 15 onion snows, into May! I growled at the snow by the time it was over.

Here's a picture of me in snow. I'm not growling.

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning, my puppy peeps!

Today walkies, cold, no wind, snow and sun and snow and sun and geez! I wish it would make up its mind.

Hard to make up your mind sometimes. I get jerky treats, and Timbits (no sugar on the outside, plain old fashioned) and turkey treats, and the last bite of Mommy's dinner... you get the idea.

But usually not 2 possible at the same time.

Jojo likes to confuse me. She holds up 2 treats and says, "Which one do you want?" It's too easy. She holds up jerky treats and dry kibble treats. Like that's a choice.

Yesterday no wet food for cats or me because so much turkey treats. Today back to normal. That's good.

Always good to make up your mind. Take too long with a choice, what good is that? You want your treats to spoil?

Until tomorrow, shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning my puppy peeps!

Yesterday my mommy didn't feel good. So she went to bed early. She slept, like a dog or a smart people.

Last night all furfaces got on the bed, me, mom-cat (whose name is Clover Honey), all 3 cat puppies -- Hercules the Liger, Lord Byron Blurry Face and Denim Pooka, the uncles Ollie, Lionel and Zorro. It would have been a party if the people hadn't been snoring,

Herky tries to wake Mommy at one point. He walks on her, and he's the biggest cat puppy. He's about half my size and weight. That's a lot of heavy on his paws. Mommy pets him and tries to keep him in a spot that's comfortable for her. No deal. Herky won't stay put. He keeps moving closer to her face until his whiskers are in her eyes and nose.  Then she wakes up and I learn some new people words.

She grabs the blanket and flips us all off the bed. No problem, we'll just get back on. It's like a fun parachute ride, actually.

Go Herky, go!

Until next time,

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning, puppy people!

It's the weekend, time to sleep in. Herky couldn't do that, though. Come to think of it, he actually waited until 5 am today, a whole hour or 2 after usual. It was starting to get a little bit light out the window.

Not that people can see light at that level. People don't see much. Don't hear much, and forget their sense of smell, eh? They're totally deficient. The only thing they got is thumbs. And that makes all the difference.

Herky got a pillow thrown at him and Mommy got 15 more minutes. I guess the pillow is the snooze button when the alarm is cat puppies.

There's a picture of Herky with me on the steps to the basement.

Have a great weekend, everybody.

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning and happy Sunday, puppy people!

Every 7 days people stop moving so fast. Now everybody slow moving, not on the road so much. Mommy says this is Sunday. Another day to sleep in,

After walkies today I'm thinking about my litter mate brother Brewster. He lives in the next town and I don't see him much. First time I saw him he was in his Mommy's car, yelling out the window. I yelled back.

"Hey, you, I know you! You're nothing but a son-of-a-b****!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, it takes one to know one, you son-of-a-b****! In fact, I remember the b**** you're the son of!"

Brothers talking trash, giving each other poo.

As I said, I don't see him much. But it's good to know he's around and he has a forever mommy and daddy. Here's a picture of him in a Merry Christmas hat. Then here I am feeling pretty jazzy in the bandana Jojo gave me. Brewster gets a haircut but I don't. He calls me the long-haired hippie brother. Whatever. I got a mane.

That's all for now. Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

We had another onion snow over the weekend. Wonder how many onion snows we're gonna have this spring. All the snow is melted, onion snow doesn't stay. But when it comes, I ask, "what the hell?:" and the people think I'm growling.

Lots of wind yesterday. I circled around the house a lot, barking. It sounded like a thunderstorm. I had to let the people know I'm on the job. Had to sound the alarm.

Mommy had me on her lap, calling me her baby puppy. That makes me feel better. She knows what's going on outside and that it's ok. Jojo came up and also told me it's ok. Jojo called me a good dog.

I went to sleep. Then after a bit Mommy made supper for the people and let me lick the pan. The wind calmed down by then.

Overnight no snow, good walkies while the sun came up. A new day.

Until next walkies, shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Here's one from the mailbag:

Dear Rocket,

How did your Mommy decide to call you Rocket?

Love your posts, Dude!

Doug

Dear Doug,

You got the same name as one of my house people. Mommy, Daddy, Jojo and Dougie. Are you like Dougie?,

But I digress. You want to know how I got to be Rocket. Well, just like you and Dougie have the same name, I have the same name of a talking raccoon in a movie, where the raccoon has to tell the people what the tree is saying. The tree only says 3 words, all kinds of ways. Rocket the raccoon tells the people what he says.

That movie came out the same time my Mommy took me home. On walkies I greeted all the people we saw. Mommy introduced us and the people liked to see us. Mommy didn't use so many words with people before I started taking her walkies and greeting people. She says I made it easy for her to talk to the other people. I don't think she has any trouble, but she says things were different before.

My first Mommy called me Buddy. Auntie Krista called me Q-boy. Now my forever Mommy calls me Rocket.

Oh, the movie is "Guardians of the Galaxy". And Mommy says on the news, lots of middle size family dogs like me got named Rocket that year.

So that's it. Shake a paw

Rocket

Happy birthday, Mommy!

Jojo told me it's Mommy's birthday. That's a happy day for people. It means Jojo will go with Daddy rides in the van, to get special treats.

Yayyy! Special treats for Mommy, maybe special treats for Rocket?

Happy days for Mommy, Daddy, Jojo, Dougie and Rocket. Happy days for cat puppies.

Still a work day for me. I'm hard at it, doing my napping under Mommy's desk, so you don't have to. You're welcome.

Until next time

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Today on walkies, full light, still cool but Spring is on the way. Soon warm and -- wait for it -- lotta bugs!

My mommy has to put stinky stuff on her hands and face when she takes me walkies. My fur protects me. And I have flea killer once a month on my skin.

The stinky stuff Mommy uses is also used for unblocking people's noses. People have weak noses anyway, so when they get blocked, not good. Anyway, that stinky stuff makes mosquitoes remember they have something better to do when they approach.

Not yet, though. Still have to put the coat and hat on to take me walkies.

Mommy gave me boots once. I hated them. I walked wide, trying to kick them off. Mommy laughed. Then she stopped putting them on me.

I like how Mommy and I work things out. I get my way most of the time. I know not to widdle or poo in the house. But if I have to wait too long, it's too cold outside and Mommy can't take me out, I poo in the basement. The people clean it up. Usually Mommy, but Dougie has cleaned up a poo sometimes. Nobody hurts Rocket.

One time I lived in a place where somebody hit me. I remember who it is, but Mommy doesn't know. Mommy found out when she was walking very fast in the kitchen, picked up her hair brush and headed toward me for something. I thought she was going to hit me with the hairbrush and begged her not to. Mommy was surprised and petted me, rubbed my belly, and told me she would never hit me, was coming to me for something else. Then she looked at the hairbrush in her hand and told me what it was. She made it stroke my fur.

It's good to live where nobody hits Rocket. Everybody has to poo.

That's all for now. Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning, puppy people!

Yesterday was kinda tense. Mommy screamed her head off. I think it was the computer problem. She needs computer for work and it didn't help,

I did what I could. I took her walkies. Then I slept on her feet under her desk. Keep her steady.

We had pizza last night. Mommy didn't want to cook, so she and Jojo went to the good pizza place and brought pizza back. I got treats -- pepperoni and sausage.

It's good to be the dog under the table when the people have pizza.

Today on walkies, not so good. I ate grass. Then I had lotta poo. When we got home I coughed and left puddles. Grass is good for that.

Maybe not so much pepperoni next pizza day.

Wait, what? You gotta be kidding! Of course pepperoni!

Today will be a quiet day. Until next time

Shake a paw

Rocket

OMG!! So many beautiful ladies this Spring!

I met a new girl in the neighborhood on walkies this morning, but she wasn't interested (yet) in being friends. She yelled at me, so I yelled back. Her people pulled her away and Mommy pulled at my leash.

She was a very pretty girl, my height, which is low to the ground, with all white fur. Kind of like the Westie in the commercials.

Her people said she is a rescue dog. Mommy says that means she got re-homed because of stress in the other home, kind of like one of my friends. My friend's name is Popcorn, and you can guess what his fur looks like. He used to be afraid alla time but now he's happy to see me. We sniff around together at the marina.

I think rescue dogs are either shaking alla time or wanta fight. Either way, they're scared. It takes about 2 seasons to get OK to be friends. We have spring now, then summer, then Halloween and Happy Thanksgiving. I think by Happy Thanksgiving this lady will be ready to be friends.

I forgot to get her name! I have other girlfriends, though. My doggie girls are Lucy, and sometimes Amy and Pearl Girl. Lucy is a big golden girl that I see some mornings. She has a lot to say and her Mommy keeps treats in her pocket. We check ID every time we meet -- it's in the dog code of conduct. There was the Farside cartoon (Gary Lawson) where the security guard says, "I realize you probably are, who you say you are, but regulations require me to sniff your butt..." Well, it's true, regulations require us dogs to check ID when we meet.

Then Ames and Pearl Girl are fierce guard dogs when they're on a tie out, but when they're loose, they're friendly. Pearl Girl is a tough cookie on the job, and I respect that. It's good to see her off the lead, though. Then she's got some really smart things to say.

Ames is another fluffy golden, all heart. Gotta love her.

I love all my girlfriends, doggie and people. Shout out to you, Sandra! And Jojo! And.....

Anyway, it's spring and I'm lovin' it!

Shake a paw,

Rocket

Good morning, puppy people!

Spring time is a great time to see new puppies everywhere. Going ridies in the van with Mommy and Jojo, I saw a horse puppy going walkies with his mother.

Some people go ridies in a van, with the van pulling a digger behind it. Some other people harness horses to the digger, then take the horses walkies. That’s what happened here. The man who wanted the digger to go over the field, harnessed some horses to the digger, then took them walkies. Pretty smart, eh? One of the horses had just had a puppy. Horses only have one puppy at a time. The horse puppy was following his mom, no harness, while she was walkies with other horses and their people.

Down the road a bit, the cows had their new puppies with them. This time of year all the grass eaters have their puppies – cows, horses, sheep and deer and buffalo. Haven’t seen a moose puppy, but I heard they are here now too.

Need warmer days for the birds to have their puppies. I remember duck puppies following their mom in the stream that leads down to the marina. All puppies are so cute.

I heard about a place called Florida. There is a big lizard there, called Alley Gator. I don’t think I would like to meet one. I think if I saw Alley Gator puppies, I would really not want to meet their mom!

No worries. Mommy says Florida is really far away. Alley Gator’s don’t like cold or snow.

That’s good. Until next time,

Shake a paw

Rocket

Bunnies! Bunnies! Everywhere!

Early morning walkies is a great time to see live bunnies.

Used to be a bunny was a soft toy, sometimes it squeaks. There were teddy bear bunnies, chicken bunnies and Lambie bunnies. There's an owl bunny and an elephant bunny. Sometimes there are even bunny bunnies.

Early morning walkies, the bunnies are real live, run-on-their-own feet bunnies! They smell like grass eaters. They run around. I want to chase, but Mommy won't let me. She says I'll wrap my leash around all the trees and posts and she'll have to come and get me loose.

That happened once, in snow. I ran and wrapped my leash around all the trees until I was stuck. Then I cried to call Mommy. She never forgot it. I guess it was hard for her to reach me. But what a relief when she came! I couldn't move at all!

Ok, so no chasing living bunnies. Time to sniff the water ditch. So much to sniff.

Until next time,

Shake a paw

Rocket

Not quite a soggy dog, I got my walkies before the hard rain. It was just a little drizzle, now it's raining -- well, you know, cats and dogs -- and I'm glad to be inside.

Rain brings out all the smells in the new grass. I love it. So much more to know about the plants with the grass that people can't see. I can't see them either but I smell them.

And the critters that live under the soil, I can smell and hear them too. There are little things, half the size of mice, Mommy calls them voles. They have long snouts. Weird looking. I guess the snouts help them with roots under the soil?

And the larger critters that dig tunnels under the grass, now that the snow is gone we can see where they went. They're still there...

After this rain there will probably be mushrooms. Mommy and Daddy love mushrooms but don't pick them in the yard. They can't tell the good ones from the bad ones. Mommy says the ones the squirrels eat are the good ones, but she can only see that after the squirrels have chewed on them. She leaves them.

Puffballs are supposed to be good, but only when they're white round balls. Mommy still doesn't know enough to pick them and feel ok about it. She kicks them and laughs.

Whatever. I don't care about mushrooms, myself. Don't smell like treats to me.

Until next time,

Shake a paw,

Rocket

Good morning. Sleep well? I did.

Mommy reads bedtime stories about dogs. One story, people go to the people vet, get something called Prozac, it makes the knives in the kitchen shut up. He gets a Lab puppy, takes care of him, doesn’t need the Prozac anymore. (Puppy Chow is Better than Prozac, by Bruce Goldstein).

One story, a man has a dog, Enzo, has a lot of sad things happen, can’t see his own puppies, but he races cars and doesn’t give up. All happy by the end. Enzo finishes being a dog, goes to Heaven, comes back as a people puppy! (The Art of Racing In The Rain, by Garth Stein).

One story, a long one, 3 books, has a dog with the same family over and over, keeps going to Heaven, coming back as a new puppy, finding his people. Lotta adventures. Talk about Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and watching the people puppies grow up. (A Dog’s Purpose, A Dog’s Journey, A Dog’s Way Home by Bruce Cameron).

I like dog stories. I don’t think Mommy knows this, but I used to be her dog before I was a bulldog shih-tzu. I was an Akita and they called me Sierra. That’s how I knew her when she came to see Auntie Krista that time. I knew her cat puppies then too. They were different cats. Wonder what I’ll be next, maybe a people puppy? Would that be fun? Makes you think...

A good stay starts with walkies, finishes with bedtime stories. A good day.

Until next walkies,

Shake a paw,

Rocket

Good morning, puppy people!

Are you always happy to wake up? I am. After coffee and breakfast for cat puppies and me, I get to go walkies. Can't ask for more than that.

Then if Mommy gets too full for breakfast, I get her last bite. Great if it's eggs.

I sniff the ground on walkies. Mommy doesn't like it if I sniff one spot too long. She doesn't want me to find snacks. if I start eating something, she tries to take it away. Usually she can't. People throw or drop snacks alla time walking home from the take food away place. They don't pick it up, no wild things get it, no foxes or coyotes on patrol that week (they have a 3 week schedule -- schedule, that's a good word, eh?) then it's still there for morning walkies.

Mommy thinks people should pick up their food drops. I don't. I'm getting good at hiding my walkies snacks.

Another thing I do that Mommy doesn't like is: you know how cat puppies and I lie around and nap all day? Well, sometimes that gets really strenuous (another good people word) and I gotta do something to get the blood moving. I run through the house like somebody's at the door. Then, whichever cat runs, that's the one I chase. I chase them til they run down the basement steps. Game over, I won. Mommy yells, but I don't care. If I were a people, I'd laugh.

Sometimes Rocket is a bad dog. Sorry, not sorry.

Until next walkies, Shake a paw,

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

It's cloudy today and should rain later. Everybody is excited because it's a warm spring rain and the sun porch is open, windows are open, breezes going through the house.

Let's talk about burrs. Burdock burrs, nature's Velcro. (Mommy sews, so I know what Velcro is. Hate it.) Along the walkies there are burr plants. Some are as tall as bushes. I always notice them too late, when I'm sniffing and get next to them and rub them -- ooops! Now how did I get burrs between my front legs and my chest? Now every step gives me that sticker sting. Can't move.

Mommy notices I can't go anywhere and starts pulling them out of my fur. It pulls, but she's careful and I don't move, let her get them. It was really funny when she started pulling them out before she took off her knit gloves. After the first pull she said a few nonsense people words and took the gloves off.

Interesting word, Dam. When people are not excited when they say it, it usually means something that blocks water. Beavers make them. No water, I hear the word Dam, I perk up and pay attention. If I hear Dam and Dog, I hide. Mommy never says Dam Dog. That's good. Mommy says Dam Burrs. That's OK

Wonder if I'll see beaver puppies this year? It's hard enough to see grown up beavers. Never know. Could get lucky.

So for now, happy for no real reason. Just happy.

Until next walkies, shake a paw,

Rocket

Good morning puppy people! Mommy says it's Star Wars Day -- May the 4th be with you. I have no idea what that means.

So she told me the story of Star Wars. What a long story. I like Chewbacca and all the Ewoks. They seem to get it right. All the empire stuff is too complicated. Might be fun to go ridies on a speeder with Mommy.

Mommy also likes Yoda. He sounds all right. He sounds like he talks to animals and to people, like me. There's also a story about a Yoda puppy that Mommy likes.

So, now I like Rocket that talking raccoon, Groot the tree -- I would definitely widdle on his roots, we would be buddies. And now Chewie and Ewoks and Yoda puppy. A lot of story critters.

Mommy's office, where we work is full of story critters. If they feel like bunnies, I sometimes take one. Mommy doesn't get too upset. She can make more. Or buy more. All good. But last time I took one of her bunnies, she told me I have plenty of bunnies and I don't need hers. I told her the cat puppies knocked them down from the shelves and I think she believed me. I can't get that high up in the office with the table she has there.

I can get up on the windowsill in the sun porch. That's fun. And I get up on the high cat perch in the living room because it has a landing area big enough for me. I do that when it snows in the spring and I need to growl at the weather and tell it not to do that again, like I did last year. Here's a pic of me scolding the weather. Oh, wait, you saw that one already.

Here's a pic of burrs.

And here's a pic of me telling Jojo about it.

Until next walkies, Shake a paw,

Rocket

Good morning my puppy peeps!

Mommy thinks she's so smart. She is really smart. But sometimes she thinks she outsmarted Rocket. If I were a people I'd laugh.

Like, when she's talking to Daddy or Jojo and she says her word really slow -- like w-a-l-k-I-e-s or t-r-e-a-t, because she doesn't want me to get excited, but I know what she said so I do. I perk up my ears and start running around, oh boy! Oh boy!

Sometimes she says it too slow for me to know, but most of the time it's quick enough.

What's your favourite treat? I like to eat the cat food when the cats leave some in their dishes. I like hard dry meat -- Jojo calls it Jerky. There's duck jerky, chicken jerky, there's jerky wrapped around a sweet yellow veggie -- that's not as interesting, but ok, and there's colly flower. I like colly flower, even though it's veggie. Don't like any other veggie, just the colly flower.

So what's your treat?

Until next walkies

Shake a paw,

Rocket

Good morning, puppy people!

It's a great day, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, the grass is coming up and … wait for it ...the weatherman is calling for snow.

It seems there's this air from a place up north called the "Arctic" where our snow comes from. And they don't think we've had enough of it.

Now, I like snow as much as any dog, the first day that soft white stuff falls and the coolness is gentle and I get all excited on walkies. But after Merry Christmas and Happy New Year it can go away, and I wouldn't cry. I'm done with it right after Christmas cards are put away.

But up here in Canada, the weatherman doesn't agree. He likes the snow -- he must -- because he keeps it around for at least 4 more months! Does he get paid to do this? Does he get extra treats? More dessert? I don't get it. Who in their right mind would keep that stuff around that pooping long? It makes people not want to go ridies in the van, for Dog's sake!

Oh well, it doesn't stop Mommy from making that trip to buy my treats, so I guess I'm good., But I don't go walkies when it's snowing sideways, and they don't try to make me. And once it's gone in the spring, it should stay gone. If I could meet the weatherman I would growl at him.

Anyway, here's a pic of me when I'm offered treats. "That for Rocket? Rocket want!"

Until next walkies,

Shake a paw,

Rocket

Good morning, puppy people!

They closed the park! The park with the boats -- the Marina! I know people need to stay apart -- something called kwar an teen, but this is ridiculous! So nobody gets to have a wedding, or a picnic where lotta people get together, OK. Only be with people you live with, OK.

But pull up the bridge over the stream to keep people out? No people and dog walkies early morning, nobody else around? That's what … overkill! Overkill, that's it. Good word.

No matter. I can still widdle on the boats in dry dock. Just don't cross the bridge to do it. Mommy still picks up my poo and puts it in the trash can. No worries there.

And we still get to go on the quiet road with the really big trees. I still run under the cedars -- Mommy word -- and make my fur smell nice. Sometimes cedars leave their twigs in my fur and I stop walking til Mommy gets them out. And I still get to smell the water ditch by the road.

Good interesting stuff in the water ditch. Can't sniff too long, Mommy doesn't want me to drink the ditch water. I like to see what's in the ditch water by tasting it, but Mommy says something called Parvo might live in the water. She says Parvo really bad, kill Rocket. No thanks.

Rocket has all boosters, not too worried about things like Parvo. But gotta stay safe. I guess people stay safe in kwar an teen. I guess that's OK.

Well, that's about it for now. Until next walkies,

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

I love morning walkies. Today is sunny and cool, and we walked on the quiet road with the tall trees.

I had ice cream last night. Evening walkies, in summer, I get ice cream sometimes. We stop at the ice cream place and Mommy gets ice cream and I get ice cream -- in a paper dish.

Mommy tries to take the dish before I'm ready. She doesn't see any ice cream left, so she reaches for the dish but I pick it up and take it away from her to finish licking. People think that's funny and laugh, but it makes sense, right? I'm not ready, I'll pick up my dish and take it in a different direction from her hand.

Finally I let her take it. I had started to pull it apart looking for that last tiny bit of ice cream. Finally I new it was done.

We said Goodbye to the ice cream lady and went home.

Eat dessert.

Until next walkies, shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Do you like oranges? I don't. Neither do the cats. Mommy opens an orange with her fingers, wipes them on her pants and tries to pet us. Gross!

The cats are funny when they sniff her hands. They curl their whiskers back and lean their heads back -- as in, "Get that stuff away from me, now!"

People love the smell of oranges. Must be something in the DNA. That's what people say when they don't get something. Must be in the DNA.

DNA sounds like a catch all place where the stuff you think is gross but somebody else likes lives. The people world is full of weird places like that. Arctic is one place, DNA is another.

White House is another people place. Not quite as far away as Florida where the alley gator lives. The White House is where the boss of the people across the bridge lives. They get a new boss every so often. I can't keep head or tail of it. Some people like the boss, some people don't. They get to say who they want to be boss and all the names are counted, -- wow, a lot of work -- and the one with the most votes -- that's what they call it -- gets to be the boss. Right now they have a yelly screamy boss, but half the people like him.

Our boss up here -- the dreamy blue-eyed boss -- Mommy's words -- made all the mommies and daddies stay home to do workies. He definitely has my vote, when dogs get to vote for the people boss.

Until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Do you have a dog? How did you get him or her? Did you go to the pound? Did they find you and you had to keep them?

Pound puppies wanta be good dogs. You just go get one and give him a chance, eh?

Some things to think about the different breeds, so you don't fall in love with a cute puppy and end up with more dog than you can handle:

Beagle -- good family dog if you have a yard and a couple of kids to play with him.

Bulldog -- lotta strength and stubbornness for their size

Shih Tzu -- same as bulldog, only smaller

German Shepherd -- good stable dog, gets a bad rap for being intimidating.

Labrador -- any colour, likes water, see Beagle

Come to think of it, most dogs do best with a yard and a couple kids to play with. I love my gang of kids that I see on afternoon walkies.

People who live alone in an apartment -- you can get a dog too. You want one of the smaller ones that is comfortable in an apartment. Think Tiny but Mighty. A lot of specific breeds have a miniature version. If you love Dobermans, there's a mini Pinscher. If you love huskies, there's the Klee Kai.

If you buy a dog from a breeder, you pay for the breed. If you get a pound puppy you pay for adoption, usually a lot less.

If you have a dog and can't keep him, don't offer him "free to a good home". Those dogs often end up in fighting situations or laboratories. No, No, No. Find him a new home if possible. If no one you know wants him, then take him to a rescue society, or the pound. The pound should be a last resort because they don't last long there.

But go ahead, go to the pound and get a dog. Sometimes a little bit of money can buy a whole lotta love.

Until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there. If you don't have kids, you have grand kids, and if you don't have grand kids, you have fur kids, like me.

Happy Mother's Day to Clover Honey the mom cat who asked me to look after her cat puppies, Happy Mother's Day to Mommy and Jojo and Grandma.

Mommy had me scared yesterday, she stayed in bed all day after taking some of those white pills -- Tie len all. Today she's good, doing laundry and baking things in the hot box in the kitchen. Daddy made supper last night, not a good thing. He's ok at it, Jojo and Dougie ate it. Jojo took some up to Mommy. But when he has to make supper it means Mommy can't stay standing up.

People need to be standing up. It's a thing. So when they can't, it's not good.

So this is a happy Mother's Day for me, and if you are not a mother, then be good to your Mother. Especially today. Here's a pic of Clover Honey.

Until next walkies,

Shake a paw,

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Mommy is back at work today and it is still cold, will be cold until Wednesday, says the weatherman.

I think that weatherman needs a talking to.

I think the Arctic should keep its air up there.

I think Herky should stop stealing my wet food.

Herky is my biggest boy, half my size. Mommy says he weighs 20 pounds -- for reference, I weigh 38. He looks almost as big as me when we stretch out under Mommy's desk.

Byron, my other boy, looks as big as Herky but weighs less. 9 pounds. He's rangy and slim with Maine Coon hairy paws like Herky.

Its a little odd being the daddy of cat puppies, but I'm as proud of them as any other dog would be. Here are some pictures of my boys and girl now that they're all grown up.

Denim, the girl is small, about 6 pounds, although she's all fur and fluff, like a proper Maine Coon cat. Only Clover Honey, their mom, looks like a regular shorthair.

Well, that's the news for now, until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

It's a great day to be alive, right?

Mommy says there's a people on facebook who is telling everybody else somebody is a hacker. Mommy says don't believe it.

Byron the cat puppy is a hacker. He hacked up a hairball last night. Mommy says that's not the same thing.

People who hack are being mean to other people. That's the bad news,. But this people is saying somebody else is a hacker and it's not true. That's really mean. When people hack and tell other people somebody hacks, then that person can't have any friends on fb. That's just mean.

If I met that person I would bite him.

Mommy says no I wouldn't because then I would be taken away. All dogs that bite people get taken away. Even when we're right.

Grrrrr! That makes me so mad!

OK, now I'm gonna start a rumor -- hackers get hairballs and hack them up in front of other people, like when you're standing in line waiting to get ice cream. Then no other people will like you, idiot!

Mommy says being mean on facebook is called cyber bullying. It's hard to catch the people who do it. People who cyber bully are cowards. Not good people. Need to get out more, get a life, for Dog's sake.

Good thing facebook also tells about lies and scams. Mommy looked it up and found out. So there, hackers and cyber bullies!

Mommy and her friends are the best. Rocket's friends are the best.

Until next walkies,

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Well, it's nice to see the weatherman figured things out. Today is warmer and Mommy says "they're calling for" warmer temperature from now on, a proper springtime.

It won't be long now until we see Stinky cat and her stinky cat puppies. We will also see duck puppies and goose puppies in another month or so. If it weren't for my leash and harness I would run at them too fast and they would be scared and run into the water. All I want to do is lick their faces, but they don't know that. Apparently (good word, eh?) some dogs forget that, well, HELLO, puppies...

Anyway, Mommy says it's because of the kind of dog I am that I like puppies so much. Bulldogs love puppies and Shih Tzu's love the family. So there you have it, I'm all about the puppies.

You know what Shih Tzu means? It's the Chinese word for lion. Right. I guess the Chinese wanted a dog that looked like their lion art -- like their fence posts. Sure don't look like a real lion! And you know how little shih tzu's really are, right? Half my size on a good day!

Oh, yeah, somebody asked why I say, "for Dog's sake" and I guess I should let you in on something. Dogs dream when we sleep, you know that. You see the paws going when we run in dream fields and chase who knows what, something only we can see. Some of us dream bark, too. I do. Well, when we are doing that, we're running with a leader Dog out in front, always the same leader Dog. He's someone we don't know when we're awake, but in dreams we know him. Kind of like the great spirit Dog for all us dogs. When we run in dreams, we also see dogs we knew who went to the vet place one last time when they got old and sick.

This is nothing like when people go to church and talk about God, but when Mommy says, "for God's sake" I like to turn it around and say, "for Dog's sake". I don't think she hears me. She doesn't hear everything I say.

Well, that's all the news that's fit to print. Mommy says that when she talks to Grandma and Grandpa. I have no idea what it means, but whatever. In Dog we trust.

Until next walkies,

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

It's cool and cloudy today, "calling for" rain. Why do people call for weather they don't want? I mean, the gardeners already have enough rain for the garden, they don't need more right now. Couldn't they save rain for July when the grass turns brown?

Never mind. Some things I won't understand about people. Just give me my wet food, treats and walkies, and I'm happy.

I like sleeping with my people on their bed or on the couch or wherever they want to lie down. All good to me. The cats like it too. It's called co-sleeping -- leave it to people to have a word for it -- and some pet people do it and some don't. I'm glad my people like co-sleeping.

I like other simple things too, like bunnies. The cloth toys, with or without squeaks that the people like to throw and I can chase. Those are fun.

Some things Mommy makes she doesn't like to throw for me. Like when she's at the sewing machine. Last night, she sewed her pants -- they busted loose when she bent to pick me up for a bath (serves her right) -- she fixed with the sewing machine. She also made some cloths to put over her face when she shops. They're all the rage now, all the people like to wear masks. I think the word for it is "fashion statement" like when your people buys you a new collar in another colour. Or with rhinestones, or studs on it. People can be like that.

Well, no matter. People smell like people, no matter what they put on their faces. Until next walkies,

Shake a paw,

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

I had a bath on Wednesday. Then I had my flea meds again. Advantage II. I don't take Advantix, because that would hurt the kitties when they sleep next to me. Mommy just has to check me for ticks after walkies. No worries yet though. Too early in the season.

The vet wants me to eat a cookie to kill fleas. Problem is, the fleas have to bite me for it to work. I would have a rash, and itch alla time. So Mommy buys Advantage II and no fleas on me to bite me, all dead on contact, all eggs gone. I get a bath every month, then flea meds.

I hate baths. Even the no soap, no hot water, just slightly cool water rinse, I just do not like baths. When it's just Mommy, I give her trouble, won't get in the tub, jump out right away and shake all over the bathroom, make her chase me and wipe down the whole room after she rubs my fur with the towel.

Not the same with Jojo, no way. Mommy and Jojo give me a bath, I'm a good boy. I stay in the tub, don't jump out even when Mommy wants me to, she has to pick me up again, and she puts the towel on me before I shake. I still shake, I have to, it's a dog thing. But after she towels my fur, so not much spray in the bathroom.

Maybe Jojo won't believe the stories Mommy tells her. Sometimes I'm a bad dog. Sorry, not sorry. If I were a people I'd laugh.

Until next walkies,

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

This morning walkies, I sniffed a couple clumps of fur, soft enough to be a bunny or a cat. It was gray. No blood.

I'm pretty sure the fur wearer got away from something. Some cats like to roam at night, I get it. A short adventurous life with a dramatic end.

Or maybe they got away.

If I were a detective, like on one of Mommy's shows (OK, Boomer) I would sniff for more clues. But, true to my dog self, I lost interest as soon as I knew there wasn't any blood. No meat nearby. I mean, you gotta have priorities, right?

Critters that hunt bunnies and cats at night -- could be wolf, coyote, fox, roaming dog -- not too many of those around, people with dogs don't want THEM to be wolf or coyote food. Maybe an owl. Can't think of any other bird that hunts at night. No feathers at the crime scene.

No bones for the Bones cast to look over, no carpet fibers or weapons or drug "trace" for CSI, no latest victim to set free just in the knick of time like Criminal Minds. Who profiles an animal predator? Gotta check National Geographic, for sure.

Nope, not today. Mommy just opened the bag of jerky treats. Mmmmm!

Until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

We had a long walkies today, I went in a new direction. I went down a street Mommy usually says no to, because there are loose dogs there -- the kind that their people let out front without a leash. Mommy gets nervous about that.

Nobody was out today, but I got to sniff some new ditches. Interesting stuff, ditches. This month they're full of water. Prime mosquito breeding ground. No mosquitoes yet though, too cold. Later in the week, maybe. They don't get me because of my fur. They bug Mommy, though. Mosquito season, Mommy puts a real strong smell on her hands and feet and ankles and around her hair so the mosquitoes stay away. The smell comes in a jar full of sticky stuff. If Mommy has a cold, that sticky stuff is useful then too. She puts it on her nose, and some people put it on their chest. Mommy doesn't go that far.

It smells so strong, I don't want Mommy to pet me when she has it on her hands. I like cedar trees, but not that sticky stuff. Besides, I lick myself to get a bath, so, no thanks.

The bridge at the marina has new wood on it, so we go walkies there again.

Yesterday I walked down my normal street and saw a dog I only see sometimes, when he visits his grandma. His name is Laker. He was on a leash and he got away from his grandma, and came running to see me. He stopped and sniffed and wagged, so I wagged too. That was good. Laker has been wanting to meet me. Now we're buds.

Mommy got summer shoes yesterday, so the warmer days will be here soon. I'm glad. I'm not a very old dog, but my legs are tired of the cold and damp. Wet spring is hard on me, almost as much as "polar vortex" when the cold is like the freezer box in the house where the meat is put so it doesn't rot. People keep meat for months in there.

I'm old for a bulldog, middle aged for a shih tzu. Time to go easy on the back legs. Mommy has special oil she puts on my food when my legs hurt. She calls it the gentle herb oil. Another word is seebeedee. All I know is, it eases the aches and lets me run and play.

Anyway, that's all for now. Until next walkies,

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

I love squeaky toys, and my favourite toy is a stuffie Lambie with a squeak in its belly and one in each foot, too. I like to wave it around and shake it and bring it to a people and have them throw it for me.

When I get it, I can feel where the squeak in the belly is -- it's pretty easy -- and squeak it on purpose. It makes the people laugh.

I like any bunny, but the squeaky bunnies are the best. But stuffies open up and leak. Bunny stuffing is not good to eat, and if I get it in my mouth, Mommy takes it away. Then she takes the bunny away.

The first time the bunny opens and leaks, Mommy gets out her special magic kit and closes the hole. The magic kit has sharp things like thorns, and long string. The thorn goes through the bunny skin and brings the long string with it. Mommy keeps putting the string through the skin until the hole is closed up. Pretty cool stuff. Magic

Mommy doesn't fix the bunny the second time it opens. She just puts it in the trash can. Then she pulls another bunny out of my toy box and we play with that.

Well, I love bunnies and squeaky bunnies most of all.

Until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Today is a good day for walkies. Weatherman says all sun today but now it's cloudy. That's OK. Mosquitoes are out, but not too bad yet. Wait till end of the week, then whammo! There be a cloud of them for sure!

We went longer walkies, on a road Mommy doesn't usually go. Been there last summer. Had to catch up on sniffs, so I went slow. Mommy thought there was something wrong with me, but everything came out all right in the end (ha ha). Poo bag filled, like normal. Mommy relaxed.

So many new dogs in the area, lots of sniffing. A few new families in houses, toys in the backyard. Pretty soon I'll see kids playing in the street. That's always fun. Kids, people puppies, are my favourite!

I have a posse of girl people puppies that always stop their playing to pet me. It's fun. I love my fans.

Met my first buddy dog this morning. His mommy isn't always out when we go walkies, but I saw Jake this morning. When Jake is on his patio he grrs at me but when he's on his leash going walkies, he comes right up to talk to me. He just protects his territory now because his daddy died a few years back. It's just him to guard his mommy now. That's hard. I understand because, well, it's Jake. He's a good boy.

I got some of Mommy's eggs today after walkies. That's good. I like the yolks.

Well, that's about it for now. Until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Today is gonna be warmer than yesterday, you betcha. Cool enough this morning there were no black flies. They come out with the mosquitoes, but when they bite, they leave the hole open and a little blood comes out. They're nasty. They go for the eyes, I guess the salt in the eye water.

No black flies today. Good.

My friend Duke is getting old, not going so much for walkies. Mommy heard he has a problem with his throat -- too many walkies pulling on his collar. Some dogs like to pull -- what am I saying, we all do it! Mommy got me a harness so I pull against my chest and know when to stop. I won't have throat problems.

Collars are good to hold the tags, the metal things that jingle. If your town needs dogs that go walkies to have tags, I guess the collar is good for that. I think the chips will soon make that stop.

The chip hurt, no lie. But it was only once. No more needles that size. And the chip gets new information when we move, something about the computer. I don't know all the ins and outs, but Mommy does.

Dogs that don't go walkies need fences. That's a wall they can see through that tells them all the area they need to protect. That's good. You tie a dog out to a post, no fence, the dog can go nuts, too much stress. The dog needs to protect his territory, thinks anything can get at him, gets all defensive. Then he gets mean and bitey. And he's not a mean dog at all, just stressed. Fences better than tie-out.

Even better is walkies! I get to go with Mommy. She sometimes doesn't want to go where I want to, but mostly I get my way. We talk. We're in sync, Mommy and me.

Well, that's about it. Harness better than collar. Fence better than tie-out. Walkies best of all!

Until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Short walkies this morning, I wanted to get home sooner. I've been getting enough of the long walkies halfway through. This time I turned on a street that leads straight home, got the poo done on the way.

Got home in time to still see Daddy before he left for the day. Don't know where he goes. He says things like, "the farm" and "into town" but I can't make head or tail of it. People talk.

People also tell time weird. I know morning, walkies, food time, end of work and more food time, sleep time. When end of work is coming soon, or should be here, I remind Mommy. I bark and run for the door. Yesterday Mommy said it was too soon and I could tell she was mad. She said "No No!" That kinda means "bad dog". Then, just a little bit later, she picked up one of those things, Jojo calls hers a "phone" and touched it a few times. I've seen it before. Then she put it down and said it was time to feed the kitties and puppy.

I was happy and we were all excited. Food time. But wasn't that what I had just said? End of work time, time to feed the kitties and puppy? Did it just have to be her idea, or what? Mommy doesn't normally power trip like that, but oh well. Maybe it was an off day.

I really get her going when I call Daddy home. Like, I know when he's been away for a bit, he'll be home soon. So I start calling everybody to the door to make sure they open it for him. Mommy opens the door just a bit to show me he's not there yet. But, I know he's coming. I can hear from a long way away, you know. And, he's on a motorcycle, so he's kinda hard to miss. Loud pipes.

Oh well, Mommy doesn't want me to sound off before he gets here. Too bad. I'm gonna keep doing it. Sorry, not sorry.

Until next walkies,

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Today on walkies, bright sun, no goose puppies yet. No duck puppies yet either. Soon though, I think. The birdies are all paired up. Probably nesting on the banks of the stream under the bridge.

I met Lucy, the big blonde lab/shepherd. She likes to talk, burbling about this and that, I barely listen. I love my fans and she’s one of them. She gave me a kiss and then got a treat from her Mommy.

I also met some cats I talk to when they stick around. They were on their porch, so I went over. Mommy held my leash tight so I didn’t move too fast. That was good thinking. Cats spook so easily. Leo knows me, so he came to me and greeted me. Dash baby usually stays away from me but when he saw Leo, he came forward too. It was good to greet him. They live with Crystal, one of my favourite people after Mommy and Jojo.

The also live with Amy and Pearl girl, so maybe that’s why Dash baby is so shy with me. The gossip from Pearl might not be good. She likes me when she’s free, not so much when she’s on her tie out. Then, she’s on the job and all business. Total guard dog. She’s actually the litter mate sister of my buddy Jake, and I guess the family is like that. On the job, no nonsense. Off duty, buddies. Quite a boundary.

Come to think of it, my brother Brewster is like that too. I’ve never met him off duty, but when he’s guarding, he’s all business too. I guess I’ve never had to consider this before. I’m guarding when Mommy and Daddy aren’t home. I’m guarding Mommy when Daddy isn’t home. I’m guarding the house when everybody is home and some van pulls up in the driveway. I have to let everybody know somebody’s here.

I guess guarding is just what we do. Never thought of it before.

Good to see my friends on walkies. Good to see the cats.

Until next walkies,

Shake a paw,

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Yesterday was Happy Birthday for Daddy. That means after dinner, there was birthday cake. Jojo made it. No birthday cake for Rocket! Mommy doesn't want me to get sick.

Too much sugar makes me sick? No way! Jojo slipped me some.

Today I ate grass on walkies. After poo, then another poo, mostly water. Tummy not good. Short walkies.

Maybe I'll be better by lunch. I still feel like running for the door, and wagging my tail at Mommy and Jojo.

How come food tastes good and makes the tummy feel bad? That's not fair!

Today is a no workies day for Mommy. Five days, Mommy workies all day at the computer. Then 2 days, no workies. Mommy does other things. Maybe take Rocket ridies in the van!

Heard her tell Jojo not today. Mommy and Jojo go ridies and not take me. That's not fair either!

Maybe they'll be back soon. I'll probably still wag the tail and be glad to see them. Some things don't change.

Until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

I feel so much better today! I heard my brother Brewster has some of the same things -- can't handle dairy or sugar. Man, that bites. Oh well, now we know. Mommy and Jojo stick to jerky treats for me.

Mommy likes dishes that are made of recyclable (good word, eh?) stuff. Paper. Not the same as for writing, but like the boxes her canned drinks come in. That's good, because when they have steak and the juices are in the plate, they put the plates in the recycle bin and I go get them and lick them to pieces. I love steak juice!

Mommy doesn't want me to do that, but I do it anyway. I mean, how could I not? They're right there! This isn't even a Sorry, not sorry. I actually can't pass them up.

Naturally I don't get spanked. Mommy just takes them away again and makes sure I didn't swallow any of the paper. I don't. I know better. The paper itself isn't good, just the juice I get to lick out. This is why when they have chicken, they keep the bones in a bag in the fridge until trash day. If they put them in the trash can, I get them out. I can't resist. A dog is supposed to eat bones, but Mommy says no chicken bones. Something about them splintering and causing problems.

Mommy gets me steak bones, when they have them at the store. OMD! I LOVE steak bones! Like when Scooby Doo gets a Scooby snack! I love them! Here's a pic of me with one now.

Well, that's the news. Until next walkies,

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Man, mosquitoes really bug me. I mean, they poopin bug me! One got me in the corner of my eye, Mommy saw it when I was scratching the nearby ear. When she rubbed it, Ooohhhhh it felt so good! That's how she knew it was one of those blood suckers!

Mommy put some thick stuff on it. No worries, I've had it before, some kind of goo that is supposed to make things better but, thank Dog, doesn't sting.

Only one mosquito out this morning for walkies. I think the thick fog and coolness kept them sleeping in for a bit. I got home with wet fur and Jojo asked me if I had been swimming. No, just the dew. Mommy got rid of the mosquito. Said some interesting words about it too.

Monday, first day of the five days of workies. I'm hard at it today, gotta get a good start to the week. I'm in my station, under Mommy's desk, on the blanket. I like some normal routines.

Until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

The goose puppies are born! All the goose mates have litters of puppies following them on the water. Actually one mate leads and one follows, to keep the puppies safe. Too cute!

Mommy gave herself a home haircut yesterday. I heard her telling Jojo. She says it needs time to get used to the new weight. I don't see any difference, but what do I know about people hair?

Mommy gave me a home haircut too! This is the first time. I went to see her friend Susan once, to get groomed. That means bath with shampoo, blow dry and nail trim -- hate that! -- and scissors in my hair like when Mommy does Beauty Dog.

Mommy cuts the hair around my eyes every so often. Makes me nervous. Sometimes she holds my ear to stop my head from moving. She tells me she needs me to hold still when she has scissors near my face. I say why trim my hair at all? She says she wants to see my eyes easily. OK. It's over soon enough. Then she puts down the scissors, puts her hands up empty and says, "All done Beauty Dog!" and I know it's over. Tail-waggin time.

Yesterday, Mommy used some special scissors to thin my mane -- that long hair around my neck that acts like my scarf in winter. I still look like I have the mane, but now the breeze gets in and cools me off. I love it! I keep my looks -- always important for getting treats from random encounters -- and get to be cool. Nice. And I still have enough fur to keep the mosquitoes away.

So, more Beauty Dog routine is just fine by me.

Until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

New dogs on walkies, I met them. New dog Shadow, part Pomeranian (no idea what that means) is smaller than me but wagged his tail when I waited for him to come to me. So I wagged.

I wouldn't have waited for him to come see me, I wanted to run right to him, but Mommy tightened the leash when we passed by his house. She was talking to Shadow's people. I guess the people are new too.

He seems OK, like Jake. Wants to play.

Then at the marina where the boats and the geese are, we saw a husky that crosses in front of the house a lot. I yell at him through the window. This time he was out, with his Mommy. I wanted to run to him but Mommy didn't let me. I was so excited I was Grrr-ing and I think that makes Mommy nervous.

I kept pulling, hard, running to the end of the leash, Mommy kept tightening the leash, finally swung me around and put her foot on me to make me sit. I got mad and grr-ed at her and almost got her pants cuff. She got off and talked softly, petting me. She called me a good boy. I don't know why, she didn't want me to do what I was doing. Maybe because I Grrr-ed.

I was calmer after that.

Then this morning there's this other dog I haven't met yet, a big black thing. Mommy calls it a Bouvier. I don't know what that means. We didn't meet. His Daddy and my Mommy saw to that. Too bad.

Sometimes we need some excitement. Can't be all workies.

Until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Wow, OMD, last night was exciting! There was a loud bang! and I did my job and woke everybody up. "Somebody's at the door, get up, get up, get up!"

Mommy and Daddy had been asleep. Dougie had been out on the back porch. Then he came in and fought with some of the flying bugs that crowded the porch when he turned on the light.

Herky was there, he saw it all and told me what happened. A big fat brown beetle flew in with Dougie, and Dougie was flapping his arms around to swat it. He lost his grip on his phone and it went flying. It made the bang when it landed. Then he got the broom and swatted the bug.

I was downstairs telling Jojo about the bang when she told me it was OK, and Herky told me what happened. Herky was laughing, it was so funny to him! I wish I'd seen it.

Dougie didn't know that lotta bugs come when you turn on the porch light at night. Where did he live before this that he didn't know that? Bugs love light at night. Makes them get all jiggy. That's a Mommy word, and I hear Jojo laugh when she says it. Like Mommy's old, or something.

Anyway, No bad stuff happened, I didn't have to wake up the whole house. But I was on the job. I'm a good dog.

So why did Dougie go out on the back porch? To have a ciggy. That's a tiny fire that some people like to hold in their mouths. I think they dare each other to do it when they're young, kind of a manhood testing thing. People do that. Mommy, Daddy and Jojo don't have ciggies, only Dougie. Daddy's a man but never wanted to have ciggies. Mommy says that's because Daddy likes to run races. Ciggies make you not want to run, make it hard to breathe. If I were a people I don't think I would like to have ciggies. I like to run a lot! Whenever Mommy lets me off leash.

Well, that's it for now. Until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

PS: Mommy says not only men have ciggies, sometimes women have them too. OK, not a manhood testing thing. Just a people thing.

Good morning puppy people!

Today walkies I went the long way around, and Mommy saw the tall pine trees. Those are the trees that keep their leaves all year. They smell good too.

Not like the stuff Mommy has on her hands when she puts my harness on. That's the stuff she puts on her neck to keep the blood suckers away. It would keep me away too.

I know she'd never do it, but just at the moment she's holding my harness to put it over my head I can't help but back away. I think, just for one second, that the smell is coming for my eyes. No thanks.

She gets the harness on me, then gets my shoulders and pulls me back to her. OK, so that's the new thing, I guess. Anyway, we harness up and get outside and go wherever I want. Sometimes a short walkies, sometimes a long one.

We had ice cream last night after supper. Mommy and Daddy had ice cream with strawberries and then Mommy gave me her last bite and the bowl to lick. That's how we roll here. Even though the sugar and cream make my poo soft, if I get a week in between, it's not a bad deal. And, hello, ICE CREAM!

Who can say no?

Well, it's at least a week til my next sweet treat. But walkies are every day. Until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

So I guess people do a lotta things with fire, eh?

Like when they make it warm inside the house and it's cold outside, I know there's fire somewhere, even if I can't see it. And people like their food burned, and I see the big box in the food place -- the kitchen -- that has the fire to burn the food. And even the small box, where the food goes in, Mommy pokes the front of it and in a minute or 2 it says "ding" and the food comes out HOT! That fire is fast! But I never see the fire in the box that does it. Magic!

So, there's obviously something about having thumbs that made the people make fire stay in boxes, so that they can use fire when they want it but not let it go all over the place and kill everybody.

People even have a noise maker -- alarm, they call it -- to tell them the fire got outa the box and they have to get outa the house! One time that happened and Mommy took me outa the house. Then other people came in a big van with a ladder on it -- more about ladders later -- and looked all over the house for the fire. It was gone. We went back into the house.

Now when we watch the TV box, if there's another fire alarm, I tell everybody in the house about it. But there's no fire in the TV box. The people tell me it's just a story.

Why do people tell stories with fire alarms? I believe them if they say fire alarm, they don't have to make the real sound! It's scary! But I've noticed that people like to get scared at not-real things. Then they laugh. Mommy calls it summer fun.

Scary stories not so much fun in winter. Huh.

Until next walkies

Shake a paw

Rocket

Good morning puppy people!

Happy Sunday. That's the second day when Mommy doesn't have to go workies. Daddy took the van and put things in it before he took off. Mommy says he is going workies. He didn't take a ladder, though, so he doesn't have to work up high in a tree or next to a house.

A ladder is like the steps off the back porch, but you can take it with you. Pretty neat, except the steps are too small for my feet. I would be scared to go up a ladder. Daddy isn't scared. People have different feet, just like they have thumbs. They really can do a lot of different things.

We animals specialize. We have fur and fangs and only a few words people can hear. And most of the time people think we're saying something else anyway, so a lotta the time we don't even bother.

So I'm staying with Mommy in the house while Daddy goes workies. It's cool today, and Mommy thinks it's cold. It's the no fur thing. As soon as it gets to be summer for a few days, Mommy thinks it's cold like winter when it just gets cool. One of the weaknesses of people.

And it's a good thing she has thumbs. That means she can use a fork and a knife to cut her food so she can eat it. I always know when she gets out the forks and knives that the people are going to have pieces of meat. That, and the smell of the food burning in the kitchen, tell me good things are coming. The fork is for holding the hot burned meat while the knife is ...well, you know.

Mommy always gives me her last bite. She started that early, as soon as I came to her house. Jojo gives me more, every supper. She loves to slip me pieces of her food. She has good manners. I hear her telling Mommy she gave me food, and so far Mommy says it's OK.

Well, until next walkies,

Shake a paw

Rocket

Rocket’s Dictionary of People Words

Kwar an teen

The reason people are staying home with their dogs and cats.

Colly flower

A veggie that people call a flower, that is good to eat.

Alley gator

A really big lizard that lives in a place called Florida. Too far from Canada to worry about.

Van, ridies in the van

A rolling house that takes people and dogs farther than when they go walkies. Some vans are complete houses and some vans only have the make it go place. Grandma and Grandpa have a van-house with a food place, a people poo place and sleeping mats.

Walkies

Patrolling your territory, sniffing all the messages, with a harness and a leash to keep your people close so you don’t lose them. When you poo on walkies your people picks it up in a bag to put in a trash can.

Workies

A place that Mommies and Daddies go to five days, stay home 2 days to play with their dogs and cats. Mommy used to leave the house to go workies, now she goes upstairs and turns on the computer. She stays workies until supper time. I stay under her desk to supervise.

Puppies

Young animals that still live with their mother. There are regular puppies, then there are cat puppies, goat puppies, horse puppies, sheep puppies, chicken puppies, duck puppies, goose puppies, buffalo puppies – similar to cow puppies – and horse puppies. Even alley gators have puppies.

Merry Christmas, Happy Thanksgiving,

Happy New Year

What people say when they go visit and eat dinner together. It’s good to be under the dining table then!

Weatherman

The man who brings the weather. Here in Canada the weatherman has a screw loose. He brings snow 5 or 6 months a year when we only need 1 month of snow to cover Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Arctic

Where the cold air and snow come from. The weatherman goes and gets it, and brings it to your town for Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. The weatherman does this because a group of people are calling for snow. That what he says, anyway. “They’re calling for snow”. I don’t believe it. I think it’s just an excuse for having a screw loose.

DNA

Where weird ideas live, like the idea that something gross smells good – like oranges. People think oranges smell good. Must be in the DNA.

White House

Where the boss of the people across the bridge lives.

Vote

When the people say who they want for boss. All the votes are counted and the one with the most votes is the boss. Then they do it all over again. Half the people think the boss doesn’t know what he’s doing. The other half think the boss was sent by Dog Himself.

Dog, as in “for Dog’s sake”

The Great Spirit Dog that all dogs dream of following when we sleep, and run and bark in our dreams.

satire

About the author

Kim Slone

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