To Be a Pet

Currently, there are three cats and a bunny rabbit and five parrots that I claim as pets. Rex the Funny Bunny is one of the best pets I've ever had. He's hilarious, and so cute, and he is, well, a funny bunny.

Right now, we have two little kittens, less than two months old, that we sort of rescued. We've found potential homes for both of them as soon as they are old enough to give away to new parents. Fur babies are awesome.

Squeaker, my only male cat, who is huge and beautiful, has decided that these very tiny kittens are nothing more than play toys for him. He isn't being mean to them, per se, but he is being overly playful and we are having to watch him with the kittens very closely. He will bat them around and make them roll, then pounce on them and start all over again. It's funny and sad all at the same time.

This has resulted in us having to pretty much lock the kittens in one of the bedrooms most of the day (because he can get out of the bedrooms and they can't!)

Anyway, the rare moments we let these little fluffballs out of the bedroom, they run around and are so cute that it's hard not to pick them up and love on them. They, and especially their claws don't like being cuddled when they want to play though. And their claws are the only real self defense the little guys have.

Now, the other day, I'm sitting on the couch and I'm thinking, "It must really suck to be so tiny."

I mean, here you are, running around chasing a lid to a cola bottle, and you're having a grand time, minding your own business, and then suddenly, "Oh, no! The room is spinning! Where's the floor...? Oh, my gosh, that giant has picked me up. I'm dizzy... the floor is so far away, stop it! Put me down! Oh, oh.....ohhhhh.....I think I'm going to be sick!"

Not only do you have to wait for someone to feed you and give you water, but you can't sleep on the kitchen table when you want to, or someone comes and tells you to get down or sprays you with water when you're trying to get on the stove to get at the Easter ham that you just knew they were making just for you. Why did they make it for me and not give me any?

When you want to cuddle with your human at 5 in the morning, you get shoved off the bed. What's up with that? I just wanted to cuddle on your face. I don't see what's so wrong with that so early in the morning.

The indignation!

"How dare they shove ME off the bed!"

You have to eat the same boring meal day in and day out. They won't even give you the good bottled water, but you have to drink from the (gasp) tap! Never mind that I sometimes drink from the toilet - that's MY choice. I deserve bottled water service is anyone does! I do!

Sure, they pet you and love on you, but sometimes they want to love on you when you're wanting to sleep, but oh, no, when you want some loving when Daddy is working on his computer, he just tosses you on the floor with a grunt!

Oh, the humanity! (or is it felinanity?)

It must truly suck to be a pet.