There I Was

There I was, newborn, unaware, eyes closed, and making sounds

Where am I? What am I? I simply wonder

I hear the same noises around me, I smell the odors I inhale, I touch a familiar touch

I suckle on something that feeds me, mama mama, oh she is my mother!

There I was, learning how to stand and walk and my eyes slowly open

I see shapes and colors bright and dull and other things that walk on two legs

I shake and tumble over on a soft surface and I stand up again

One more step forward, slowly getting the hang of this thing called walking on my short legs

There I was, playing with my brothers and sisters and other little toys

Soon they were gone, one by one, these two-legged things taking them away

Soon my turn came and placed in a cardboard box with them

Reunion oh so happy with them, but where are we going today?

There I was, shivering in the cold and sweating in the heat

With my brothers and sisters, what is happening? Where is Mama?

Where is food? Where is water? Where is our blanket? Where is Mama?

Where? What? Where? Why? Where? Where are we? MAMA??!!!!!!!!!!!

There I was, we stepped out one by one, entering this big world, the big outdoors

Scared, frightened, clueless with too many unanswered questions

We mewed and mewed for help, we cried our innocent tears onto the pavement

They dried up, just like our hope for love, comfort, a home, what did we do to deserve this situation?

There I was, trying to survive with them in all kinds of weather

We drank what water remained on the pavement and what scraps we could find.

We all jumped back in the box, mewing for help. Our mews were so tiny and desperate.

Was it our fault we got ourselves into this bind?

There I was, seeing another two-legged creature for the first time; your innocent, worried eyes met mine

You ran towards me and my brothers and sisters, scooped us up and cried your innocent tears

Stranger, don’t cry for me and my siblings, we endured this evil for some time

Your embrace shelters me and my siblings, you did nothing wrong, nothing to fear

There I was, in the box in your back seat, off on another adventure

We get settled on a table with those two-legged creatures in the same room

Wearing pure, white coats, tools in hand, and looking us over

They speak their own language and all we can say is “mew”

There I was, in a different shelter with a blanket and toys, rejoicing with my siblings

Our reunion is cherished

We played, we bit, we ran, we laughed

Until my siblings disappeared, one by one. Will they perish?

There I was, each of them sent away with these happy, smiling faces and laughs

Young, old, short, tall people of all shapes and sizes

Were they going to be okay? Will they be happy? Will they live long? Will I see them again?

I suppose I will never know, but I realize

Only. One. Left. Me.

There I was, asking myself, has it been days, weeks, months since I last saw them?

Why was I left alone and why are they gone?

Will I ever see them again? I cower in a corner, afraid, sad, and down.

I want to see them and I want to be near them! I’m alone, I’m the only one, so forlorn.

There I was, and soon after, you appeared and stared into my big, blue kitty eyes

“I love you” I mewed to you as I reached out with my paw

You cuddled me and nudged me and looked to another of your kind and said,

“This kitty’s the one. I wanted to adopt her.” Mew.

My hooman.

There I was, riding in a carrier, uncertain and nervous

What is this new life and adventure I’m about to go on?

Hooman, where are you taking me? Can I get out of this dark space?

I want to know, I want to see, you say in a soft voice, like the coo of a dove,

“It’s okay, kitty cat. We are almost home soon.”

There I was, out of the carrier and into a new room

A table, a chair, curtains, bookcases, a desk, many new things.

It is overwhelmingly strange, yet familiar once I rub my face on things

I looked at you and you smiled and said, “Welcome to your new home.” And then I sings.

There I was, rolling around on my back, grabbing and nibbling on your hand, and nuzzling

Mewing and stretching, as you go “Awwwwww, so sweet!”

Jumping down from your table when you said, “OFF!”

Tucking you in and laying next to you, as you say, “Goodnight, Oreo”. I feel complete.

Oreo. Hmmm. That’s nice.

There I was, watching you come and go five days in a row at times

Crying on the phone, jumping up and down with joy, yelling out loud

Sometimes singing that pop song or sitting in silence or playing on that beeping box.

Each time, you looked at me and simply smiled. What a beautiful and a silent sound.

Hooman, you ok. I got you.

There I was, time passing by, minutes turned to hours to days to weeks to months to years

You changed a little, as did I.

One intangible thing remained the same: our love.

I feel at home, I feel comfort, I feel forever. I hope this love will never die.

There I was, moving slower in my steps and more tired than before.

I feel weaker, I fall a lot.

You noticed and picked me up, asking if I was ok.

“No, no” I mewed, somehow, you knew. What turn in this plot.

There I was, laying on the vet’s table, looking at him with sad eyes.

Ouch! You poked me with something! I could only mew.

You apologized to me, ok I guess I forgive you, hooman.

This time. Keeping my eye on you.

There I was, sitting on the table after some time

You were looking at me with worried eyes., anxiously waiting for an answer.

The vet came in and said one word that made you fall to the ground and cry.

Cancer.

What is that? I could only cock my head to the side.

There I was, moving ever so slowly, throwing up everywhere, I lost control.

Hooman, I’m hurting, I’m tired, I’m weak, I’m sick. Please help me.

All I could do was mew.

I think somehow, you knew what to do. Put me out of my misery.

There I was, laying in the carrier you brought me home in

Only this time, you were crying and driving slow.

You wanted to soak in every moment, every memory, every touch, every purr.

The car came to a stop. You sauntered slowly to wherever we were going. Somehow, I know.

There I was, on the vet’s table again, only this time, you were crying.

“It’s time,” you said, “This is not fair to Oreo. You are a great cat. I will always love you.” This conclusion.

You knew, you understood me, it is not fair to me.

Thank you, hooman.

There I was, you held me tight, a mix of hug and snuggle, you kissed me.

I’m hooked up to thin pipe and injected with something. And then,

Suddenly, my eyes are heavy, my body relaxes, as you whisper again,

“I love you, Oreo. You are a great cat. Until we meet again.”

There I was, I breathed my last breath and my eyes closed.

Suddenly I’m floating, out of my physical body towards a bright light.

I’m flying, I’m free, my whole self feels weightless, I’m no longer in pain.

But, hooman, my hooman, where are you? Why aren’t you with me? Why aren’t you in sight?!

Did you get lost? Can I go back and find you? No. No I can’t!!!

My hooman mama! My hooman mama! Why can’t I find you?!!!

There I was, landing on a cloud to those big pearly gates

With a rainbow arc on the other side, a one-way trip.

I see from a far a green meadow with mountains and other little four-legged things.

There are some hoomans there, but where is mine? We’re attached at the hip.

There I was, for a moment, I wonder if my siblings and mama are over there.

Are they still on earth? Are they roaming in the green meadows?

Wherever they are, I know they are okay.

They are strong they are mighty. Somehow, I just know.

So here I am.

Hooman, I’m waiting for you right here so we can travel together

I promise.

You never left me, so I will never leave you.

Here I sit on a cloud, gazing down, I still got you, I promise.

Hooman, I saw you crying in the car the day I left you.

You put away my things and hugged my favorite blankie.

You took my body, my blankie, and a nice box to the backyard.

I am smelling that fresh air with you and enjoy the peace and quiet, perfect as can be.

And so, you buried me and wept over my grave.

Hooman, I am watching you as the years pass on.

Somehow you moved on with life and yet, your heart misses me everyday.

As if a piece was ripped out and disappeared forever.

You visit me every day and say, “I miss you, Oreo”. Every. Single. Day.

Hooman, I see you reach you hand out to the side

As if to pet me, but instead you petted the air.

I’m right beside you. I hope you see me like I see you.

I feel your touch and you love, I imagine I’m there.

Hooman, you continue to grow in your life.

People come and go, yet you were still in that big house. My how time flies.

You got more pets, but never intended to replace me. Your Oreo. Only one Oreo. Never.

The cycle repeats: adoption, training, loving, cuddling, putting down, the goodbyes.

Oh. More pets by me. Waiting for the same hooman. Somehow, we just knew.

Hooman, I still walk by your side, in and outdoors.

You don’t see me, do you at least feel me?

I am still your number one buddy, friend, counselor, listener, four-legged companion.

Do you feel me beside you? Do you feel us? Loving on you fervently.

Hooman, you grow older, a little more grey-haired, more wrinkles.

You pass through the years, working, retiring, getting out there.

You continue with life, you laugh, you cry, you get mad. Your same mannerisms.

Do you feel me beside you, still? Do you feel us? See our pet hair?

Hooman, you are alone in a bed, sleeping, machines rhythmically beeping

Are you ok? Can you move? Do you need me?

I reach towards you, but I cannot touch.

Do you at least feel me?

Hooman, some people come in to see you, hold your hand, talk to you

I wish you could feel my soft fur, your constant companion.

You slowly open and close your eyes, your breathing becomes slower, your heart slows

Suddenly, a steady, constant beep fills the room

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Hooman?......Hooman??.......

Hooman????!!!!!!...........................................................................................................................................

“Oreo, baby girl!”

Here you are.

You are here, you are here!!!!!!

You pick me up and warmly embrace me

I nuzzle your face and smell your scent.

You look so youthful and happy, like when you brought be home.

The other pets come too, but you held me. My hooman.

The pearly gates suddenly open and the rainbow bridge extends its welcoming colors to us.

You look at me with loving eyes

“Ready, Oreo?” you say, “Pets?”

“Ready.” I mew and then we flies.

With one leap, we fly on the rainbow’s arc to those green meadows.

Flowers, grass, tuna, treats, dogs, cats, streams of water, you, me. Heaven.

We sit down and you hold me close. Never let me go. Never let us go.

Peace. Serenity. Love. At rest. We stay together.

There I was, here we are, and here we will stay. Together. Forever.