The Magnificence of the Evil Duchess

I don't know how the rest of you get your pets, but they have always just sort of 'happened' for me. A cat will wander into my house and suddenly I have a cat named Koby. I see a dog hurt on the side of the road and next thing I know Indiana Jane (who turned out to be a wolf) is following me around the house. I hear a cat screaming while being thrown around by some kids and before I know it I have a screaming cat in my car. I see Guinea Pigs being abused in a classroom and I am suddenly the proud owner of Brave Sir Robin and Pfeffernusse.

All of my pets were the best, of course...but aren't all pets the best pets?

The one I would like to honor today, however, is my kitty Evil Duchess Fluffernutter Zuul, Duchie for short.

She came into my life much like the rest; I saw a cat in need of a home and rescued her from mildly abusive owners. She had been taken away from her mother and fixed at way too young of an age. Her "owners" punished her quite a bit for being annoying(she nursed loudly on a blanket for comfort), and would kick her sometimes.

Yeah, I had to get her out of there.

So we took her home and gave her a name that suited her better that 'mittens'.

She was a very grumpy yet cuddly cat. If the environment was made perfect for her (sitting with our feet up, blanket covering all of our bottom halves, no brush in sight), she would jump up and knead us. Sometimes, we even got to pet her! We were never allowed to move, though.

It was worth it to see her so happy.

Soon after she settled in, we noticed she was simply genius. She would unscrew lids to treats and help herself. She would herd us to where she wanted us to go. She would knock on the window if she was stuck outside. She would ring a bell for water. She would turn on lights and open doors if she was unsatisfied with her current situation.

We didn't mind being handled by one so fluffy and adorable.

We also noticed that she would come find us when we were hurt and sad. When we cried, she would cry with us. When we hurt, she would find the spot that hurt and lay on it, purring. She would yell at us to stop yelling when we were angry.

I began to have full conversations with her, to the amusement of my husband. I would try to tell her no, and she would argue her point until I gave in.

She would also talk to us about her evening. We would wake up and she would just "tell us all about it".

She adopted my daughter's My Little Pony toys as well, and would cuddle and groom them, occasionally even play with them. She would have made a good momma.

She still does all these things, but more so now. Age has only made her more intelligent.

She is now 13 years old, and began to slow down a bit. She could no longer jump up on our laps with ease, and lost interest in playing. She was becoming more grumpy as well.

Then she stopped eating and drinking.

We took her into the vet and had to have two of her teeth removed. Her gum line was red and swollen as well, so we sent it in for tests.

My sweet fluffy best friend has cancer.

Very aggressive cancer.

She has been feeling better since her mouth healed, but we worry about her. The doctor says there is nothing we can do.

I hope to speak to a feline oncologist, but there is not enough money for proper cancer treatments.

It is heartbreaking.

My little Duchie still comes to me when I am crying, only this time I am crying for her.

She doesn't deserve to suffer. If only I were rich enough...I feel as though I have failed my loving ball of fluff.

She no longer comes running when I come home. She has trouble getting up from her bed of choice now. It's ok, I go and find her and give her a good pet until she starts flicking her tail. She no longer tells me too much about her nights...just the highlights. I let her sleep with me more often now, so there is less to talk about anyway. She curls up by my face, and wakes me up by booping my nose with her nose if I snore. She even forgives me for holding her down and forcing pain medication in her mouth when I notice she is in pain.

Of all my pets, Duchie has been the one I have connected with the most. As pet parents, we always know we will most likely have to bury them at some point, but that knowledge does not make it easy.

All I can do is keep her comfortable, plied with special treats, and cuddle her whenever she needs. I feel so damn helpless.

I hope she knows how much of my heart she holds...knowing her, of course, she understands that fact quite well.