The dog that saved me

Diesel, no not the fuel but my angel of a blue heeler/coonhound mix. Seven-years-old and still has the energy level of a puppy. I know it seems like everyone has a male dog named diesel, but I chose that name because when he was a puppy he never cared about vehicles, but he would always perk up when diesel trucks drove by. I got diesel from a friend who had two unexpected litters of heeler puppies, and he turned out to be the runt out of both letters and was being chewed on and drug around by all his bigger siblings. Now me being the softy that I am, I picked him up out of defense but when I put him down away from the others he just yelped and tried to call his way back up my leg into my arms again. I knew right then I was not going to leave without him. I asked my friends dad how much he was asking for each puppy, as if I am 15 years old had any extra money to spend, he looked at him buried in my neck and said, “well you’re in luck! That one just so happens to be free.” He was five weeks old when I brought him home which is earlier than normal for a puppy to be homed but that may have something to do with why we are so attached to each other, yes we not just him, because instead of bonding with his mother he bonded with me.

Hi school is not easy for anyone but I had a lot of back-to-back bad experiences if I may say so myself. My parents had been divorced for a few years by this point and my mom had an amazing boyfriend who did anything and everything I could’ve asked for as a stepdad and always went out of his way for me. Sadly when I was 14 he was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and not six months later he had passed. Shortly after that I discovered drugs and alcohol is every teenager eventually does, but I just so happen to be very unique in the sense of I refuse to do anything halfway, very sharp double edge sword of quality. For me seeing just how far to take things as a hobby, I do not like or abide by restrictions nor orders and when it came to partying, I kept that exact same approach. One night at a house party with maybe 10 to 12 people I had once again taking things further than my body could handle, and had passed out somewhere in the house. I came in and out of consciousness later and remember pushing away one of the guys in our “friend“ group. I pushed with all my might, but unfortunately my weak and overly intoxicated body was not strong enough to stop him from taking some thing that was not his to take. I only share these painful experiences to show where I was at mentally when I met my best friend. I was feeling unsafe no matter where I was and confused for many reasons. When I gotten diesel home it was if we could both finally relax because we had found someone to make us feel at home and protected. As he grew into the extremely expressive and alert dog that he still is today, he became very protective over me around everyone, he began to just place himself between me and other people especially men. I swear he feels my energy shift and he steps in the way almost to say “don’t worry mom, I’m here.” He’s always beside me regardless of who is around and lets me know that he has my back no matter what with his expressions and body language.

My most fond memory of us was a day that I just happen to be feeling a lot of things for whatever reason, and on days like that I like to be outside and nature. It always brings me peace and the calmness I need to sort through all my thoughts. I took diesel to this heavily wooded trail about 40 minutes from home, and it was well worth the drive. We ran at least 4 miles and got to the top of this hill with a small clearing overlooking some nearby fields, we sat down in the grass and just rested together staring into this vast peacefulness of the universe. It was a perfect picture created by nature herself. I looked over at his face and it was as if he spoke to me with just his eyes the most loved I had ever felt up to that point in my life. I started to cry because I knew exactly what I was lucky enough to have in my life, the most unconditional and purest connection in the world. He would never leave me, hurt me, or allow any harm to come near me so long as he was around. I finally felt safe. I say all the time that he’s going to live as long as me because I just have no idea what I’m gonna do without him in my life. Unfortunately, I was recently almost forced to come to terms with that very thing. Earlier this year my sweet boy had a terrible accident outside my apartment. One afternoon before I needed to leave for work I took Dallas my mini blue healer, and diesel out before I left just like every other day. I took the boys off leash to let them play for a few minutes and they had found a large stick, roughly 2 feet long. Just like any other dogwood they started to play with it and they still had it by one end and started dragging it. Suddenly the opposite end had stuck in the ground and half of the stick had broken off into my sweet bug. He suffered a punctured throat, torn muscles in his neck and shoulder. The vet had to make an incision in his shoulder and pull the stick the rest of the way out. If he had been punctured even 2 cm one way or the other and his jugular would have been severed and he most likely would not be sitting here snuggling me as I write this now. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a lump in my throat sitting here remembering it. All I heard in the moment was A sort of scream I’ve never heard come out of any living creature before and I hope I never do again. I looked over and saw blood pouring out of diesels mouth, I ran down and I saw the stick poking out of his shoulder and my heart and soul absolutely left my body. Thankfully there’s an emergency vet clinic very close to our home and they were able to get him into surgery very quickly and save the life of my baby. I will never forget the feeling of carrying him into the vet office and trying to prepare myself to lose him. Knowing there was nothing I could physically do to save him was too much to process in the moment. They told me that I could leave him and go back home but I sat and waited to make sure that they got him into surgery and everything was going to be OK. I don’t yet have human children of my own but all my animals I care for as exactly that. And having been with me for so long me and diesel just have a special connection that I will forever be grateful for.