Ten Reasons Cats are Better Than Kids

Okay, so I am an unashamed cat mama. That said, Hubby and I didn’t become parents of real, hairless, human children. So the fur children are it for us. I’ve accepted this reality and I embrace it. For this reason, and because sour grapes, I present to you my “List of reasons cats are better than kids.”

1. Cats can’t talk; therefore, they cannot give you attitude.  Our feline friends may be among the most amicable creatures on the planet. At most, they just laze around all day, sleeping. If they develop an attitude, they cannot sass you. They just snub you and walk away. And with their cute, whiskered faces, you just can’t stay mad at them for long.
2. You never have to bring cats to the grocery store. This is a HUGE bonus for me! I never have to hear meows of discontent because they need the latest mouse toy, or those Temptations snacks that all of their feline friends have. The kitties prefer to stay home and monitor that moth fluttering outside their window. Try keeping your human children home to watch a moth. Not happening.
3. Cats don’t leave home, so “empty nest syndrome” never has to happen. Regardless of their age, cats will always need you. They never marry and never move out. Additional bonus? No saving for college! So splurge on that boat you always wanted (or upgrades for your catio, or that towering cat furniture.)  You deserve it!
4. No teenage pregnancies. Most responsible pet owners spay or neuter their furry children while they are too young to remember they had the capability of reproduction. And if your unaltered female cat has a night of sowing her wild oats, you can find homes for her progeny and no one looks down on you for doing that. Although some cat mamas find it difficult to give their “grandchildren” away to suitable homes.
5. Cats will never judge you. Years after your cat reaches adulthood, you’ll never hear them blaming their problems on their lousy parents. A cat will love you with no conditions, and it makes no difference to them if you’re imperfect (because you are imperfect.) Plus, you won’t have to spend hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars on cat therapy because you “ruined their kitten hood.”
6. Cats come pre-clothed. Buying cute little outfits for Fluffy is optional (and Fluffy hates them anyway.) Bonus!! You need never fight with your cat to take a bath. They are self-cleaning!
7. You don’t have to get up to feed or change your cat. Unless you are raising bottle babies abandoned by their own mama, you don’t have to feed a cat in the middle of the night. If you stick to a schedule for feeding (example: I feed them every eight hours) they are happier. Cats are creatures of habit, and they like consistency. Plus, they are litter box trained, so no messy diapers to change!
8. You don’t have to send your cats to public school. Buying school supplies and clothing is unnecessary for your cats. They never have homework or projects that take weeks of their (and your) precious time. There will never be a last-minute case of, “Mom, I need 24 cupcakes for school tomorrow.” Because no one feels like baking at 11pm. Ever.
9. A cat will never disappoint you. No parent wants to admit that they are disappointed with their children, and they won’t tell them even if they are. But sometimes, despite best efforts, a child can disappoint a parent. Perhaps they took the wrong path, or made friends with the wrong people, or got into trouble with the law. But a cat will never disappoint you (though they will most likely break your heart in their old age, just saying,) which brings me to my last reason...
10. Cats are always innocent, and they will always make you smile. No matter a cat’s age, their innocence remains constant. Cats are instinctual beings, having no conscience or natural knowledge of right and wrong. They can act guilty if caught doing something their guardian sees as wrong, but I don’t believe they understand the concepts because they just don’t think the way we do. And besides, they are just so darn cute, you can’t help but laugh. A cat will always make his owner smile.

Originally published on my blog, "Life With Cats," on July 19, 2016.