She's Furious, But She's Magical

The day began with a bang as Princess leaped up, screaming bloody murder. The perfect amount of enthusiasm for the perfect amount of cat. At 16 pounds, Princess was a large black and white fur ball. Her realization of the audacity of her situation made her leap up in indignation.

She never understood masking your true essence. Why cover your face with something that wasn’t truly you? The idea of costumes was simply frustrating. It did not make sense to become overwhelmed by covers and falsities when the true you is what matters. Underneath the surface, she was a goddess, and to cover that beauty was an atrocity. She screamed and howled until her human finally came.

"You called, master?" he said, finally understanding the magnitude of the situation.

She began meowing expressively, conveying heartbreak and betrayal at the very notion that he had expected her to wear that piece of ridiculousness. I am a princess, for goodness’ sake. I need to feel like one. Always.

"Right. So, since you're a cat, I can't exactly understand what you're trying to tell me. So I'm going to assume you're happy and we will move on. Okay, squish?"

She was quite confused at how her human could possibly misunderstand her. They were always in sink, almost telepathic. But with a hideous unicorn costume at stake, she assumed it must be clouding everyone's minds and hearts. The cuteness of that horn in the human's eyes must have gotten in their way, just as its wretchedness got in the way of hers.

She closed her eyes and stretched, hitting her human with her tail, as she strutted away. It was time for a snack to calm down from this travesty.

"Where are you going? It's time to try on your beautiful costume!"

She just kept walked, keeping her composure. There would be no costume-wearing. She would make sure of it. She was a master of escaping things. And besides, there was no way her human wouldn't realize how unhappy she looked with that thing on her head.

But alas, the human began hurtling forward with that horn gripped tightly in his hand. Princess dodged the assault and ran to hide, behind the couch. The human was right on her tail, determined to get that thing on her beautiful head. She was far too quick for him though, as she avoided his every move.

“It’s Halloween! You’re going to look so cute!” the human cooed as he kept running after her, clearly clueless of the dire situation.

She finally reached what she thought was a secure location, the windowsill. The number of times she’s sat there and been virtually invisible was mindboggling. It certainly couldn’t fail her this time. She sat on that ledge feeling proudly victorious. But alas, that feeling was merely fleeting.

The human searched around the room for a shameful few minutes before excitedly drawing open the window curtains with a theatrical flair. “Got you!” he sang, as he carefully held her, bringing her upstairs. She howled and screamed and protested with all of her might, with no result. The demonstrations simply serenated the house as disaster made its way forward.

She struggled as he forced that wretched horn onto her lovely head. And alas, she was a unicorn.

He picked her up and brought her over to the mirror as she hung weakly in defeat. Her human held her in front of the mirror expectantly, and as she looked up, she was shocked.

“I…am…magical!” she meowed loudly, beginning to purr. She couldn’t believe how beautiful this little shiny horn made her look. It seemed to enhance all of her charming features.

“I knew you’d like it, Princess!” her human said as he scratched her in her favorite spot.

Maybe she was wrong.

Maybe for one day a year, it’s okay to relax and be someone else.

Maybe this time her human was right.

What a scary thought.