Real Life Snakes & Ladders

20 March 2006, a night I remember vividly as I sat sheltered, and terrified, under my heavy wooden dining table with my two young boys. Not a chance of capturing any sleep with the loud train like noise terrorising our world.

Cyclone Larry made landfall on 20 March 2006, a Category 5 tropical cyclone, with wind gusts reaching up to 240 kilometres per hour. Destructive enough to lift the roof from my house, as we are sat hiding under the table. Thankfully, Larry kindly set my roof back down, rather than remove it totally.

We were safe, although our world outside had been devastated and my house trashed. Windows broken, walls torn apart, water damaged furniture and contents.

But we survived.

Two weeks without power, stocking up on ice every day, only able to cook thanks to the gas BBQ, tin food after you’ve eaten all the meat from the defrosted freezer and you’ve forgotten what it’s like to have instant hot water or any hot water for that matter.

It’s not just devastation for humans but the local wildlife suffer too. Nary a leaf left on a tree, if in fact any trees are still standing, natural food shortage and nowhere to hide. The sheer definition of a dog eat dog world!

The first week is spent trying to pick up the pieces, inside and out. Every thing you own destined for the rubbish pile and outside clean up of building debris and downed trees.

Each day more exhausting than the previous, falling into bed each night, asleep before your head hits the pillow.

In all this devastation, is it any wonder then, to find the wildlife keen to move inside, no longer fearing humans over safety and security?

The second week after Cyclone Larry terrorised us, was a week were I argued daily with the native wildlife and I almost lost the fight!

It was late one evening, I was about to walk out my back door, down four steps to the laundry, full clothes basket in my arms obscuring my view. As I was about to put my foot down off the last step, I heard a rasping noise extremely close to my foot. Similar to very rough sandpaper dragged along the concrete.

Instinct kicked in and I flew backwards up the stairs, somehow managing to keep hold of the clothes basket. As I lowered it to the ground I could see the large Red Belly Black snake swiftly moving across the concrete. The highly venomous snake I almost put my foot on, only recognising the sound of rasping sandpaper saving me.

After warning my young boys to stay inside, I finally managed to find and deal with that unwanted visitor.

Only a matter of six hours after that incident, at 2am with both boys sound asleep, I was laying in bed reading a book in the light of a gas lantern, when I heard this weird chittering noise coming from the floor area near the other side of my bed.

To my surprise there was an adult rat running around in circles, chittering in some weird way. I was fascinated and laid watching, when this rat raced to the wall where there was a hole about the size of a coffee cup and disappeared inside.

Cyclone Larry had knocked a large palm tree into the wall, broke all my windows, destroyed the outside cladding and put this small hole on the inside cladding. I had taped plastic over the broken windows but didn’t bother covering the small hole, never imagining the chain of events that would happen next.

It seems a family of rats had set up a nest inside the wall, hence this adult rat acting so strangely.

No sooner had the rat run back through the hole in the wall, than it returned clasping a baby rat in its mouth. It raced under my bed, out the other side and dashed through my bedroom door into the lounge room. I was not impressed as the last thing I wanted was a family of rats loose in the house.

Suddenly I spied movement out of the corner of my eye from the hole in the wall and was horrified to see a reasonable sized Night Tiger slithering out of the hole and into my bedroom. This snake has golf ball sized lumps about half way along its length so it had managed a feed but was obviously looking for more.

I last saw it under my bed and I knew there’d be no sleep if I didn’t deal with it. I stood on my bed until I found the courage to jump off towards the door, where I dashed out into the kitchen to grab my cane knife — noting that from now on I would be sleeping with this tool!

As I flew back to my bedroom, a thought in my head said I needed to put shoes on. There just inside my door was a pair of heeled open shoes and I hastily shoved my feet into them, while trying to work out where this snake was laying in wait.

In hindsight, not suitable shoes for arguing with a snake.

I finally managed to find and deal with that snake before it escaped out of my bedroom door. Now I could sleep.

Though I still had a problem with that adult and baby rat.

After waking the next day and spending the time continuing the clean up, that night I fell into bed. Again I laid reading, about to go to sleep but decided I’d get a drink first. As we were still without electricity, I walked through the dark house to the kitchen. I was about to reach for the tap and turn it on, when I noticed a black line down the middle of the sink.

I do not have a black line on my sink. Luckily there was just enough light for me to notice this abnormality. I hurried back to my bedroom for the gas light and my cane knife. Sure enough the black line on my sink was another Night Tiger. The light disturbed it and it slithered behind one of my wall cupboards.

Well there goes my sleep. I sat up waiting for it to come out but it seems it was happy where it was. I wasn’t able to deal with this one on my own so after waiting for the sun to come up, I called a snake catcher to come and remove it.

That was three snakes in two days and I’d had enough. I am no longer a lover of snakes and in fact had developed a sheer hatred of them.

Thankfully the day and night after that removal was peaceful and I was able to catch up on some sleep.

The next night however I was not so lucky. Again it was that hole in my wall in my bedroom that was to cause me grief. Why hadn’t I blocked it off? In my defence, I thought it was akin to shutting the gate after the horse had bolted.

Laying in bed and I hear chittering again. Instantly, I hear the voice in my head, “you’ve got to be kidding me.”

I look to the wall and plastic covered window opening and on the outside of the plastic is half a dozen rats running backwards and forwards along the window sill. It was actually quite fascinating to watch.

Until, I glance at the hole in the wall and there I see a snake’s head. Only this head was a similar size as the hole. This was not a small snake.

I was sleeping with the cane knife now so I had that handy and I had also leant, near the door a long handled shovel, which I now grabbed.

Sitting on the side of the bed, half a metre away from the hole in the wall, with my cane knife and shovel in my lap, I sat and waited and stared that beast down. I just wanted it to stick its head outside the hole but after about an hour of staring this thing down, I realised I couldn’t win this one.

As soon as I let my guard down, it would start roaming my house. I looked at my watch to find it was 3am. I’ll have to forfeit this match.

I used the long handled shovel to knock on the wall between me and my boys room, until they woke up. I yelled out to them, telling them to go and hop in the car. Once I’d heard them shut the car door, I inched backwards out my bedroom and out to the car. I drove to a girlfriend’s house to crash for the night.

Sure enough when we returned in daylight you could see where the snake had run amok after we left. There where things knocked over and pushed off the bookshelf or off the kitchen table. I searched but could not find that snake in the house.

As I laid in bed that night I discovered where that snake was hiding. I could hear it moving in the ceiling above my bed. I only owned one ladder and the prospect of climbing it to deal with a large snake in the ceiling was one I wasn’t going to attempt. I’m not even sure the ladder would have been tall enough anyway.

As I was about to head to bed I walked down the steps near the laundry and came face to face with another Night Tiger. I was shocked that this was happening, but went about dealing with that one so I could sleep soundly.

Five snakes in six days! Even my imagination couldn’t make this shit up!

Woke the next morning, learnt my lesson, boarded up the hole and spent the day ripping my bedroom apart and removing all the water damaged furniture, mouldy clothing and other contents destroyed by the cyclone. This took me all day and late into the night.

After I had finished and put my bedroom back together, with anything I’d managed to salvage, I laid down to read a book. It was about 11pm and my youngest son come in and sat beside me on my bed.

We were chatting happily, when he looked away and said, “Mum, is that a snake on your window sill?”

I replied, “if you are pulling my leg, I’m am going to knock you into Timbuktu.”

I was not in the mood for that kind of humour at that stage. Then I looked over at the window sill. The same window sill that’s only half a metre from my bed and sure enough it was not a joke!

There on the window sill was yet another Night Tiger. As I moved to grab the cane knife, it slithered behind the plastic taped to the window, through a small gap and outside. I wasn’t quick enough to get out there and I lost it. I knew it wouldn’t be far away so time be damned, I rang the snake catcher and thankfully he was kind enough to come and remove it.

Otherwise it would have been another night of no sleep.

Six snakes in seven days — enough was enough!

Remember that large snake that caused us to leave home for the night. The one I heard slithering around in my ceiling?

He was a lot more cunning than the Night Tigers I’d dealt with. For three months he tormented me in the ceiling, until I walked downstairs one night at about midnight and found a large freshly shedded snake skin laying on the concrete.

I knew then it had come down from the ceiling and was roaming around somewhere. Sure enough, I found it underneath my bedroom, under the house. No way was I allowing it to return to higher ground.

I managed to drag it out from under the house, a twelve foot Carpet Python and safely captured it.

It may have taken me just over three months to participate in this game of snakes and ladders but I was victorious in the end.

I was almost ready to sell my house and move though!

Prior to this week, I had already developed an intense hatred of snakes. If you’d like to know why, I’ve written of that experience here.

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Originally posted on Medium