Prince- The Royal Pain In My Butt!

“Once upon a time, not too long ago, two humans met in California and fell in love. And the first thing they did when they moved in together was to adopt pets. Or as I like to call it: 24/7 companions. The first companion they got was a parrot named Peachy. I’m not exactly sure how and when they got him, but I do know for a fact that he is a maniac!”

“Caw, Caw, Caw!” screeches Peachy from his bird stand. “Don’t call me a maniac! Who do you think you are?”

“I’m the cat telling this story and I will say whatever I want.” said Bean with a swirl movement to his tail. “If you won’t so loud squawking all day long, I wouldn’t call you manic.”

“For your information that is not squawking! Those are my morning, mid-day, and evening calls, it’s a tradition passed down generations of sun conures. Anyways, I should be the one saying my part of the story since I was there!”

“Fine, then you say it.” said Bean the grey cat.

“Well, it all began at the bird shop. My sibling and I were inside a bird cage, same as the other birds at the shop. Looking at people coming in and out. Most people would walk by just to look at us. Other would take some of the birds home.”

“My siblings were scared by the humans and didn’t want to be taken. Seeing them scared made me mad and I didn’t like it at all. Every time someone would walk up to look at us, I would go straight at them! I would squawk, try to bite them, and tell them to get lost! Most of the time it worked. They would walk away to the next cage and look at the next bird and probably take that one home. Until one day Mom came to the shop. She was first looking at the cockatiel interested in purchasing one. But the lady at the shop told her that they were all sold out. The cockatiels on display were already on reserved. She walked over to our cage. My siblings were scared leaning against one of the corners of the cage. I started squawking, opening my wings, and biting the cage. I was doing all I could think of to scare her away. But all she did was laugh in amusement. She even put her finger inside the cage bars. She wasn’t scared of me trying to bite her. Eventually she got up and walked out the door. She didn’t even look at any other birds at the shop. It worked I thought.”

“I few minutes past when I saw her walking back inside the shop. "What the heck? I thought I scared her off?!" This time she went straight to the front counter lady, pointed her finger at our cage. Oh Shit! She’s pointing at us! Oh no! she ain’t coming over here! I thought. But she came with the front counter lady. I started my routine. I was determined to bite them both to protect by siblings. Then I hear Mom say, “That’s the one that I want.” and she points her finger at me. That very day she took me home.”

“When we arrived at her house I was scared. But she was gentle scratching my neck, uhmm that feels good I thought. Then she started scratching my belly, uff that feels great! I love tickles!”

“Yep, since that day on I have been her companion.” said Peachy puffing his chest with pride.

“What about you Bean? How did Mom and Dad found you?” asked Peachy.

“Well, I was at PetSmart. I think they came in buying food for you Peachy. They had a bunch of bird food on their cart when they walked over to the adoption center. They had decided to just play with us for a while before heading back home. One of the kittens they played with the most was me. We played loads of games from catch the string to chase after the mouse. We had so much fun together that they ended up putting their mark on a piece of paper and taking me home too.”

“Oh yeah, I remember that day when you walk in the front door. I couldn’t believe that Mom and Dad had adopted you.” said Peachy.

“Why would you say that?” asked Bean.

“Well, because I thought it was just going to be the three of us, until you came along.”

“Come on, I wasn’t that bad. Besides you made sure to give me the rules of the household.”

“I sure did! I needed to make sure that you respected and fear me so I wouldn't end up eaten.” said Peachy while looking at Bean polishing his claws in the scratch pole. “But after a few seconds seeing you playing around the house I understood why Mom and Dad had adopted you. You were so darn cute.”

“Peachy and Bean” said Peachy.

“Bean and Peachy” sand Bean.

“No, Peachy and Bean. That’s what we were called. According to Mom we reminded her of her favorite shows as a kid, Pinky and the Brain. She would call us that a lot because of all the antics we did together.”

“Yeah. Peachy and Bean out on a roll! Mom would say,” said Bean “Remember when mom would let us play on the floor? I loved pouncing after you with your tiny wobbly legs trying to escape.”

“Yeah, that was fun. Until you needed a beak on the tail to remind you your place!” said Peachy puffing his chest feathers.

“Hey Peachy, remember that time when mom had a huge balloon hidden under her shirt? She was funny looking like that. I would love to sneak up on her, jump on her leg, bite her, then jump off and run away. It was so much fun having her chase after me with that balloon. She was so slow and clumsy.” said Bean with laughter.

“That wasn’t a balloon you idiot! She was pregnant about to have the baby! Don’t you remember?” asked Peachy.

“Uh… so that wasn’t a balloon?” asked Bean.

“No! That was a baby growing inside her belly!”

“Well, that explain where the little baby came from.” said Bean.

“Remember when they would swaddle you? Why do you think that was?” asked Peachy.

“Ummm…. practicing for the baby’s arrival?” asked Bean embarrassed.

“Your face was always so funny!” said Peachy in laughter.

“Yeah well, I was like what the heck is going on here? I couldn’t understand what the heck they were doing. But now that you say it, it makes perfect sense.”

“Yeah, how about that time they tried to put a dipper on you?” said Peachy laughing even harder.

“Woa, woa, woa. Let’s not go down that road.” said Bean embarrassed “I don’t want that part being written down.” Bean looks at the writer “Don’t add that in the story.” Bean looks back at Peachy and says “We are writing facts, not rumors Peachy!”

“Does are true facts indeed Bean” Peachy looks at the writer and says in a whisper “Make sure to write that part down in the story.” Peachy give the writer a wink.

“Mom and Dad did all sorts of stuff practicing on you for when the baby arrived.” continued Peachy.

“Yeah, some stuff I’m not really proud about.”

“Here is the part when I come in, right?” interrupted the small blue parakeet.

“Yes indeed.” says Bean with a hungry look on his face while looking at the small bird.

“Hey! Don’t be looking at Cloud like that!” Squawks Peachy at Bean “He is my companion not yours!”

“Oh Yeah.” said Bean breaking free from the hunter instinct. “The little parakeet Mom and Dad got you in hopes to separate you from Mom for when the baby arrived.”

“I am still attached to mom, nothing has changed. They gave me Cloud so I could have someone to play with while mom took care of the baby and went back to work.”

“Yes indeed. Someone to play with.” said Bean with his hunting eyes again. Bean was getting ready to pounce on poor littler Cloud when suddenly he hears “Bean think quick!”

“Grrrr, Grrrrr, Grrrrrr!”

“Meow! Meow! Meow!”

“Grrrr, Grrrr, Grrrrr!”

“Caw, Caw, Caw. For those readers that don’t know what’s going on, Prince just showed up and is wrestling Bean. They are always funny to watch.” said Peachy.

“Prince, Prince! Come on boy! Let go outside for a skateboard ride.” said Dad.

“Yeeeehaw! See you later Bean. Got to be quick next time!” said Prince as he runs happily with his tail wagging towards Dad.

“Argh! He is such a pain in my butt! God, the nerve of that guy! Like what the heck is his problem? Look! Look at my fur! I had just cleaned it and now it’s wet and slimy! Argh! Now I must clean myself all over again!”

“It can’t be that bad?” said Peachy.

“Yeah, says the guy that didn’t got almost eaten to death!”

“He was just playing.” said Peachy.

“Yeah, but there is a time and a place and right now was not the time or the place! He never gets that! He's always all over me!” Bean stretches his back legs and starts grooming his fur.

“While Bean is cleaning up his fur, I will continue with this story.” said Peachy “After Mom and Dad had the baby a few months passed and for some crazy reason they decided to adopt a dog named Prince.”

“He’s the royal pain in my butt!” said Bean in between licks.

“As I was saying.” said Peachy rolling his eyes at Bean. “For some crazy reason they felt like they needed a dog to complete our family. Dad found Prince on craigslist and one night without saying a word, Mom, Dad and the baby went out and came back with Prince.”

“Yeah, everything changed when he showed up.” said Bean “I remember when he walked in. I saw this black, yellow eyes, long tongue hanging out and slime dripping from his mouth! Yuck! A dog! I was so mad I had hackles. I was trying to be as big as I could to show him that I was the boss in this house.”

“You know that first night he arrived” continued Bean “He pooped, and peed in their bedroom, bit Dads hand and cried all night! And all they did was tell him “Don’t do that! That’s not nice!”

“Yeah, I remember that night. No one had any sleep.” said Peachy.

“Yep. I was thinking he ain’t going to last another night here after all that. But no, he was still here. The next thing he did was destroy Moms and Dads mountain bikes! Oh no! He didn’t only eat the parts of the tires and pedals. Somehow, he managed to jump on top of the bikes, eat the seats, the handles, and the tire break lines! He was pooping parts from the bikes out his butt for a week!”

“Oh yeah Mom and Dad were very mad about that.” said Peachy.

“Yep. And I thought Oh no he ain’t going to stay long after all that. But no, he was still here and all they said was “Don’t do that! That’s not nice!” After that he would start howling and barking all day. Being a nuisance to everyone in the apartment complex.”

“Yeah, I remember Mom and Dad would get a lot of complains from the leasing office about Prince.” said Peachy.

“Yep. And I thought he ain’t going to stay long after that. But no, he was still here. All they said was “Don’t do that! That’s not nice!”

“I mean, Bean come on. He was also still just a puppy.” said Peachy.

“Still, the things he did were too much to handle!” said Bean as he was licking his front paw.

“Yeah, but with good parenting he was learning and was starting to behave a little better.”

“True, but it took some time.” said Bean “All I know is that after he came along a lot of things started to change. We even had to move out of our home and everything!”

“We didn’t move out because of him.” said Peachy “We moved because Dad found another job on the other side of the country. And because of that we all got to go on that road trip across the states, from west coast to east coast. That was a lot of fun!”

“Yeah well…. For you guys! You are used to going to job sites and day trips with Mom, but not me. I am a house cat. I’m very comfortable being inside.”

“Was that the reason you were freaking out the entire trip?” asked Peachy with amusement.

“Well, everything was new, and I’m not used to being in car rides. Beside you won’t the one having Prince sitting on top of you! He was squashing me the entire time!”

“Yeah, it was kind of funny” said Peachy with a chuckle.

“Well, it wasn’t funny!”

“Don’t complain so much! Mom and Dad tried to get you out of your travel bag, but you didn’t want to.”

“I felt safe in there.” said Bean.

“Still, we got to go to Death Valley, the Grand Canyon, Meteor Crater, Petrified Forest, Blue hole, Cadillac Ranch, and other cool places along the way.” said Peachy.

“Walking the parks and having people taking our pictures because they had never seen a cat, a dog, and two birds strolling on the hiking trails having a good time.” said Bean.

As Bean and Peachy were talking, the front door opened, and Prince came running in. His tail was wagging with excitement and his tongue was hanging with exhaustion. He laid next to Bean stretching his legs from under him.

“What are you guys doing?” asked Prince.

“We were just talking about our favorite memories with Mom and Dad” said Peachy “Would you like to share a memory?” asked Peachy.

“Oh would I ever!” said Prince with delight. “One of my favorite memories is with Dad.” He said while wagging his tail. “Every day before he goes to work and when he come back home, he takes me skateboarding. We do a few laps around the block. I like to run very fast, and he uses my speed to land some sick tricks! In our laps I’ve seen some of our neighbors watching and cheering us. That makes me even more excited, and I run even faster. I love the wind in my face as I break through it.”

“Another thing I love doing is when you ...” says Prince looking at Bean “…and I are playing, Mom will come and tickle us both. I love the group hugs she gives us. You are my best friend Bean.” said Prince wagging his tail.

Bean looks at Prince with a serious face. His pupils were dilated, and his tail was moving from side to side. “You’re my best friend too.” And without warning Bean pounced on Prince and latches on to his neck. Without hesitation Prince pushes him off and bites Beans head. They both continued back and forth biting, pulling, jumping, wrestling, and laughing. Even thought Bean had complained earlier he did loved playing with Prince.

“Hey! You two! Knock it off!” said Dad.

Both Prince and Bean stopped and sat obediently next to each other looking at Mom, Dad and the baby sitting on the couch.

“It's time for some football baby!” said Dad with excitement “I have a good feeling about the Miami Dolphins this year!”

“Ball game!” said the baby.

“Good job honey!” said Mom as she landed a kiss on the baby’s cheek.

Prince was lying near Dads legs chewing his rubber toy. Bean was purring on Mom laps while getting scratches from the baby. Peachy and Cloud were grooming each other on the bird stand.

“The Dolphins do a Touchdown!” shouted the TV.

“Yeah!!” shouted our parent with excitement.

“Caw! Another perfect day.” said Peachy.

The End