Blessings from Bass Lake

THE TIMELINE.

The month is June and the year is 2020. Shelter in place from the quarantine just went into effect last month. George Floyd's wrongful death has just been published to the world and it feel like chaos. My relationship is failing and my partner and I are growing apart each day. And the Quarantine carries on. All the while, the state of the world fills us up with feelings of frustration, anger, confusion and worry. Uncertainty is our new daily way of life and it is starting to take a toll on our minds, our bodies, our relationships and our peace.

Peace? What's the word? I forget the meaning of it. The world has forgotten what peace is, too. Is it normalcy? Is it contentment? Is it knowing what tomorrow will bring? None of that we have this June of 2020.

SHELTER AT HOME.

My home is hostile: what was once a place I constantly found excuse to avoid, now I am suddenly stuck inside of it as the hours pass from daylight to darkness. The only peace I find comes from the comforting gaze of amber eyes belonging to my best friend and life partner, Lilo.

I adopted Lilo when she was 3 months old. She was stealing entire loaves of bread off the Kitchen shelves every time I turned around and had oversized paws with patches of white fur, making it look like she had big white socks on her feet she tripped over when she ran. Lilo's wet, brown nose with that little pink freckle, her floppy and expressive ears, and her big, round amber eyes are just some little pieces that make her so sweet. But her eyes are so special. When I'm sad or hurting, frustrated or angry, she knows just how to use them to calm me down. When I'm happy, it's reflected in the yellow glow of her eyes.

Shelter at home deemed dog walks as an essential reason for leaving the home. Lilo and I shared a lot of time on our walks together. But, with my relationship suffering, the world on fire and society on lockdown, we needed a bigger escape than our routine walks. Bags packed, tent in the trunk and reservations booked, the three of us (Lilo, my boyfriend and I) headed out for a trip to the Sierra National Forest. Little did we know we'd leave as a little family of three and come back as a less little family of four.

FORCES AT WORK

"You weren't even supposed to be able to book a campsite," the receptionist at the Main Office told us as we were checking in, the morning after our first night huddled in the tent. I guess, due to COVID, their tent-sites were supposed to be restricted because of bathroom access and possible hygiene issues and concern over the spread of the virus. Somehow, the website let me reserve a tent-site for two nights, anyways.

"We're going to have to move your campsite to a different location where there is a bathroom that is available to you," she resolves. Deal. The lady moved us to a very small spot surrounded by RV's and a small dog pen for the pets of the RV Park's guests: perfect! We had a place to park, set up our tent, a bench and a dog pen within ten feet of us. Our getaway was off to an unexpected but pleasant start.

THE MEETING

After a good and exhausting day of hiking and exploring, we came home to eat and relax at camp, our home for a few nights. As we're settling down, we see a small black and white pup wagging her tail, staring directly at us from the wire fence of the dog pen. Her whole body is wriggling with excitement. She has a little smile on her face, with little dimples creasing by the corners of her mouth as she's watching us from the pen. "Look, babe, another pittie!" my boyfriend says as he points to the small, wiggly dog. I take Lilo in with me, hoping this stranger's dog is friendly. But, I'm caught off guard to see this little pup alone in the dog pen with nothing but a small rope tied to her collar and no name tag, except for a shelter ID number: "45877920, Modesto County Animal Shelter."

After Lilo, she's the most sweet dog I've ever met. She gave Lilo and us lots of kisses, and was playing fetch with little sticks we were picking up from the soft forest floor. She has dark brown eyes and black fur with a white, asymmetrical strip down the middle of her head. She has white whiskers on one side of her nose and black whiskers on the other side. Just like Lilo, she has small white socks on her feet, and like Lilo, she's a charmer at first sight. A woman from one of the RV's next to our tent came out to us. "That dog's already been in here for about an hour," she says about this mystery pup. Already wondering what she was doing in the pen alone, our suspicions are heightened. In the back of my head, I knew she was already ours.

We let the girls play until they tired out and though I tried to convince my boyfriend to let us take her with us to our campsite only ten feet away, he says otherwise. "We will just keep an eye on her from the campsite," he says and so we walk a short walk back to our tent. As we leave, we get 5 feet away from the pen and hear her crying. I turn around to see our small mystery pup climbing the dog pen and she jumps over the fence and comes running directly at us! Straight to our campsite, she comes leaping and running to follow us, trying to keep playing with Lilo!

We wait until nighttime before calling it a day, to see if anyone comes to check on her. No one stops by our tent or the dog pen. No one comes to give her water. No one comes to give her food. No one comes to pick her up. She and Lilo munch on a marrow bone for a dinner treat, lying next to each other on towels on top of the forest floor ridded with dead pine needles and twigs. I think she circled the tent a thousand times that night. We could tell it was hard for her to feel comfortable, I think at this point she was wondering what she got herself into leaping out of the pen to follow strangers with a dog. Eventually she snuggled in the blankets with us and Lilo. The ground was cold and our sleeping pad wasn't meant to accommodate for four. The dogs took most of the blanket that we had but it was a peaceful sleep, using each-other as warmth during the night.

We woke up the next morning cuddling Lilo and our new mystery dog. That biting morning cold started to seep in from the floor and seams in our tent and the sounds of the waking birds signaled that it was time to emerge from our tent. The crackling of footsteps on dry pine needles could be heard, letting us know the little world of the RV Park was awaking, too. I felt peace in that tent. I felt belonging, comfort, and safe. Though our new dog friend was a stranger, it didn't matter where she came from or what her past was. What mattered was that she felt like family and that we could take care of her. I think she knew that.

WE CALL HER COOKIE

We call her Cookie, because her coat is colored like an Oreo and because she's sweet like one. I think Cookie was ours even before we found her. Her past is a mystery and we've slowly started to see her flaws and her quirks. She makes funny noises when we pick her up and she steals every toy that Lilo likes to play with. She loves swimming, hiking and chasing birds. She loves Lilo and she loves us with all of her heart; even though she has a heart murmur, it's still a lot of love! I sometimes wonder what she did before we found her. I wonder how she got there, or if she was abandoned, or why? I wonder what she was like as a puppy and wish I got the chance to meet her then. Although I wonder these things, it doesn't make a difference in how much I love her or how I take care of her.

No matter her past, no matter her quirks, no matter what someone felt of her worth before we found her, Cookie's life needs to fostered and cared for. In a time of chaos, uncertainty and anger, Cookie brought love, joy and purpose to our lives. People call her the lucky one because we found her and took her in. But, I can argue that my boyfriend are the lucky ones more than she. She reminded us that life is still filled with surprising and beautiful moments. Through her struggle and despite her past, she found peace with us, and we find peace looking in her brown eyes every day. Despite being left alone in the pen, she was happy and loving when we met her. With her and with Lilo, we experienced peace and love in that little 2 person tent that cold night in the forest and that I will be forever grateful for.