Andy Corp. Has Gone Belly Up

“Can we please go to the adoption thing today?”

“Today? I guess so. But we’re not bringing a dog home today, right?”

“No, I don’t think so. They’ll probably want to do, like, a home check or something first.”

And that’s how we ended up bringing home a tiny, underweight toy poodle three hours later. He was matted and dirty. He was finishing up medical treatments for ear mites and parasites. He had never lived in a house or climbed stairs. He’d never had a name. But from the moment he saw us and cautiously walked to the front of his cage to say hello, he knew he was ours, and who were we to argue? We brought him home and named him Andy, and he’s been bossing us around ever since.

Luckily for us, Andy is a great boss. He helps us stay on schedule - we never miss treat o’clock and we’re always right on time for outdoor potty breaks (even at five in the morning!). As long as we stick to the schedule and keep the blankies warm and fluffed he’s happy to let us work independently. In the last year, he even took over managing the “intern” (also known as our toddler), who he helpfully supervises as they run all over the house and backyard together.

Before the pandemic, Andy generally maintained the Andy Corp. home office solo while we worked off-site at our respective offices. When COVID-19 sent us all home for the foreseeable future, he graciously made space for us (even the exceptionally erratic and noisy intern!). Although the intern has since returned to “school” (daycare), my spouse and I have become Andy’s permanent at-home coworkers. You would think he would be resentful at the loss of all of that quiet time and personal space, but Andy is truly a benevolent boss and has welcomed us home with open paws. (I suspect the newly-instituted midday cheese breaks have helped ease the way.)

We’ve been lucky to have had such a smooth transition to Andy’s home office leadership. He spends most of the work day snuggled down into human-sized blankets. Granted, he’s stolen those blankets from us and the intern, but we all understand that it’s the C.E.O.’s prerogative to reallocate company resources as needed and we don’t begrudge him the blankets.

Once in a while, he’ll get into a bit of a shouting match with some of the neighboring companies - Squirrels Everywhere, Incorporated has proven especially provocative with their repeated attempts at a hostile takeover of our patio - but overall Andy has proven himself to be an excellent manager and office mate. He also really prioritizes employee wellness, encouraging frequent breaks to eat, drink water, and get outside. Sometimes he double-books meetings and we have to mute our Zoom conferences while he “negotiates” with our mail carrier, but the benefits of a fluffy little poodle in the workplace vastly outweighs the occasional distractions he causes.

Andy’s success as the Andy Corp. C.E.O. is especially remarkable considering the incredibly dysfunctional workplace he came from. Before Andy chose us to start Andy Corp. with him, he spent the first five years of his life as a breeding dog in a puppy mill. He came into rescue undernourished, medically & physically neglected, and without a name. When we first met, he was scared and shy. He didn’t know how to live in a house and he certainly had no idea how to manage his two new employees! Over time though, we all worked together to build his communication skills, and to create a company environment where he could feel comfortable and thrive. He’s become such a brave and confident manager, he barely batted an eye when the intern was born two and a half years ago, even though she was loud and unpredictable and took up tons of the company’s resources without much return on investment (until she was old enough to start dropping food on the floor, of course).

Sometimes we have to worry about Andy Corp. going “belly up,” but unlike in most corporations, it’s nothing a good tummy rub can’t fix!