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ALL MY KITTENS

"Brought to you today by Billy Ehrlacher"

By Billy EhrlacherPublished 4 years ago 5 min read
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ALL MY KITTENS WRITTEN BY BILLY EHRLACHER

Sable Garson sits in the back of her limousine. She says nothing. Sable is livid! Sinclair, her chauffer, knows it. Sable has never been good at hiding her emotions. How can Wilburn be cheating on her? Sure Sable was cheating on Wilburn with Basil, Hidden Valley's Mayor. Sable's affair is different. No one betrays Sable Garson and lives to talk about it!

Sinclair pulls the limo up to the main entrance of Garson Industries. The thirteen story structure is the tallest building in Hidden Valley.

Sinclair helps her out of the fancy car. He opens up the trunk and assists her with the suitcases.

Janelle, a longtime Garson Industries receptionist, greets Sable at the door.

"Planning on pulling an all nightery, Mrs. Garson?" Janelle asks.

"Something like that," Sable replies as she storms into Wilburn's fancy executive office. She sits on the chair behind his cherry wood desk.

Across town freshly groomed after his visit to Krista's House of Fur, Wilburn and Tawny are in an expensive hotel, The Hidden Valley Hilton. They are making love to each other. As they lay in each others' paws Wilburn and Tawny discuss their exotic romantic getaway. Wilburn's cell phone rings.

"Wilburn sweetheart! If I told you once I told you a million times turn off your cell phone during sex."

"I'm terribly sorry Tawny," Wilburn says. "I've been so preoccupied with things at Garson Industries that I simply forgot"

He attempts to ignore the phone. When it begins to ring again he decides to answer it. He has caller ID and he knows that it is Krista.

"Excuse me dear, but I must take this," Wilburn informs as he walks towards the bathroom.

Over at Garson Industries several employees enter Wilburn's office.

"Mr. Garson was called away on an emergency meeting," one loyal employee attempts to explain.

"Emergency meeting my ass," a scorned Sable says. She realizes that he was out for pleasure and not for business. She assumes that he is playing around with some other floozy. As she mumbles she imagines how she'll redecorate the office once she convinces the board of directors to oust Wilburn as chief executive officer, and install her in this position.

"Wilburn was never good at decorating," Sable admits as she tries to find something productive to do.

Wilburn speaks in a staged whisper over the phone as he doesn't want Tawny to overhear this conversation.

"Hello there Daddy," Krista says to a confused Wilburn.

"Krista I'm afraid that you called me by mistake," Wilburn attempts to enlighten.

"No Wilburn I've called the right cat! I'm pregnant with your baby!"

"Is this your idea of a joke?"

"I told you Wilburn I'm am not teasing you."

"Shut up! Shut the hell up! Your twisted sense of humor is going to give me a heart attack."

"For the last time I would never joke about something that would rob me of my girlish figure.

"Krista, I thought that you were spayed."

"I was. I guess it didn't take. Perhaps I can sue my veterinarian for malpractice."

"You just might have a case. Now listen I want you to go over to Hidden Valley General Veterinary Hospital immediately to get a pregnancy test. You can't always trust the ones that you can purchase in stores. Use an alias. If Sable finds out about this I'm a dead man! A dead cat!"

As Wilburn is chatting with Krista Tawny becomes ill and she begins to vomit into a trash can in her hotel room. Wilburn overhears this.

"Tawny are you okay?" he asks.

"I suddenly got sick to my stomach," she states.

"Maybe it was a fur ball or something," Wilburn tries to medicate.

"I doubt that it was a fur ball. I probably have the flu."

Krista is a month late. She also schedules an appointment for a pregnancy test.

Sable is still waiting for her poor excuse of a husband when she decides to vandalize his beloved Porsche later. Sable picks up the phone and calls Raul, Wilburn's younger brother. Raul owns a lot of stock in Garson Industries. Sable is trying to gain support in her quest for total control. She always finds herself attracted to Raul. She always wishes that she would have married him instead. Their union would have been a very happy marriage. To sum it up their honeymoon never would have ended..

"Hello Raul," Sable says.

"Sable, how are you?"

"I would be better but your brother is still alive. I certainly hope that he is on his ninth life. He is growing senile and he should no longer be running this company. He is running it into the ground.. I deserve to be CEO! "

"Sable I do not feel comfortable doing what you are suggesting to my own flesh and blood."

"Well you are one wuss of a man. An embarrassment to men."

Veda, Sable's elderly mother, is volunteering at Hidden Valley General at the front desk

"Excuse me," Tawny says in a new voice hoping to disguise herself. "I'm here for a pregnancy test."

"Will you give me a moment?" Veda requests. "As soon as I'm done reading this medical record, I'll assist you. Oh this poor soul. He is suffering from a very rare blood disorder."

Veda overhears an interesting conversation in the hall way and makes her way over there to eavesdrop.

The elevator opens and Krista gets out and spots Tawny, obviously her disguise wasn't not a good one.

"Tawny, what brings you here?" Krista asks.

"Oh just some routine tests," Tawny lies.

"Me too," Krista fibs.

As all of this action is unfolding inside Josie Garson is smoking catnip outside.

There is a crisis at the hospital the for profit owner is not satisfied with the free clinic's performance and plans to shut it down. Alec Garson a new young doctor just out of veterinary school vows to save the clinic. He believes that poor and uninsured cats and kittens deserve and need medical attention also. Alec and his beautiful girlfriend, Laurel, a young nurse, pick their brains thinking of ways to rescue the clinic. The two youths are very passionate and they share an equally passionate embrace.

Wilburn is finally back at the office when he spots Sable.

"Hello there Wilburn! I saved you time. I packed up all of your stuff. So you can go God knows where with your bimbo. Wilburn be alert because I am your worst nightmare."

satire
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About the Creator

Billy Ehrlacher

Billy obtained a bachelor's degree in theatre from DeSales University. He has many theatre credits. His first humor novel was published in 2017. He is an avid soap opera fan and an animal lover. Billy lives in Allentown, PA.

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