The old man

I work at a newspaper, specializing in answering couples' secret questions. Many letters, phone calls, and messages are sent every day, along with countless different sad stories.

Someone sent me a letter, asking that he no longer loved his wife, but still loved him, so what should he do? I asked him again if he loved someone else? He admitted that it was true that he had a crush on another girl, but he didn't blame anyone, he just said that feelings were difficult to control. I also think so, and sympathize with him. In every marriage, the most stable and long-lasting issue is still love. Without love, marriage is truly a hell.

I am also a married person, have a beautiful four-year-old daughter, and a husband who works as a chef at a restaurant. He is currently in the position of assistant chef, waiting until the head chef retires to be able to replace him. I don't urge him to advance, but I also want to encourage him that with his talent, he can absolutely work as a chef at another restaurant. He just smiled and said he had gotten used to it here.

I often post family photos online and receive a lot of compliments.

They all say my family is a model family. I don't think so, because we have many times when the rice is not good, the soup is not we have many times when the rice is not good, the soup is not sweet, in general, we are just luckier than other couples in understanding each other.

That thought was perhaps a bit complacent. Once at a party and returning home, there was a text message on his phone from an unknown number: "I'm home, I'm very happy today. See you tomorrow.” I didn't make any noise but waited until he was awake before asking. Because I want you to face me seriously, calmly, and honestly. Alcohol can cause people to hallucinate.

But he was also very calm, looked straight at me and said:

- You already love someone else.

I smile:

- Why are you still here?

- Because I love you and your child.

I was startled, remembering the email that man sent, was it you or the answer I sent back to him. I advised him to divorce his wife and not let her suffer any more.

It's funny how I would advise a cheater like that, because I'm not in the wife's situation so I can't understand her pain. He shouldn't have had the right to suggest, it should have been the other wife.

He caused such great damage, a rift in the marriage that even if the two of them stayed together in the future, the other girl would never forget it.

I'm a secret marriage counselor, but I'm confused with my own marriage. I don't know where I stand, what I should do about what my husband just said.

In fact, if I asked for a divorce, my daughter would most likely be the one suffering the most. He loves his father and is closer to him than me. He likes the food you cook. If we divorce, I will be the one raising the child, I cannot let him stay with you and that other woman . It is true that it is very difficult to let go.

- If I have done anything to offend you, please forgive me, I will fix everything so we can live together in peace until we grow old. - I held his hand and begged - Just stay with me and the baby.

He shook his head and said sadly:

- No, you can't.

- Why?

- I no longer have feelings for you. If it wasn't for my children, I certainly wouldn't be sitting here.

I suffered in silence, unable to say another word to him.

Because of the nature of his work, he left early and came home late. It turned out that those were just his adultery nights.

Because of the nature of my work, I couldn't pay attention to apart. I know what to do with him, with the man I still love but no longer have any feelings for me?

Then I tried to find out and found out that the person he was having an affair with turned out to be the restaurant's chef. That's why he doesn't want to leave. There was only one thing that surprised me and surprised me, and that was that she was ten years older than him. She is his superior, but she can also be said to be his teacher. I'm more beautiful than her, working in another profession doesn't mean I'm inferior to her, younger and more beautiful than her, why did you leave me to be with her?

- Because I no longer love you. - He answered briefly.

Simply put, that's it. To him, I am just an old woman, a woman who no longer causes him any feelings of love. I painfully realized that I was a loser But then I still chose to make a fuss. Because I'm not convinced, I want to give them one last blow before I leave. I went to your restaurant and exposed you and that woman. In the end, she was kicked out of there, and he also lost his job.

He angrily came to find me, rolled his eyes like a stranger and - What do you want?

At that time, I just calmly replied:

- I want a divorce.

A reader asked me if I just let my husband have an affair , didn't have to divide the property, everyone lived separately, and the children still had their parents, would that be okay? I replied that if she could bear it, it would be fine. But do you see how despicable that is? Why do women have to endure so many stabs from someone who considers us a stranger? So she cried on the phone for an hour and said:

- Did you know? There are countless men in the world, but how many people can let us love, let us cry, let us hurt? The next person is colder than the previous person. In the end, looking back, what are we trying for?

On the day of court, he and I were still traveling together in the same car. Just not as chatty as before.

When the trial ended, I caught a taxi for myself, but by that time, tears were rolling down.

From beginning to end, I still didn't ask him: Is the person who sent me that email you?

It turns out I'm just like that girl, when I have to throw away something I love very much, my heart is in discontent, I'm in pain and I think I'll never be able to get over it for the rest of my life.