Always Present

All fathers leave a legacy, both good and bad. To me, what makes the difference was on the presence of the father in the child’s life. I was fortunate to come from a long line of caring fathers. Each loved their family and raised their kids right.

My Dad did care even from the beginning, and the pictures show how much he loved us since we were babies, all four of us. He held us in his arms and was the strongest for the longest time, but we did not weigh that much either. Even when we were little girls, Daddy was the saving grace when we broke a bunch of Christmas toys. My Mom was furious, and rightfully so now that I am an adult. He also chased us around when my two sisters and I were minors. We were the three little pigs, and my Dad was the big bad wolf. He gave us horsey rides and put tissue boxes on our heads for funny pictures. My brother did come along, and my parents even took the name I was calling him the entire time.

As we became older, the dynamics changed, but he still cared. He was a police officer then, and now he is retired. He would come home and do the holidays he had to work. So many Christmases, he took his break to film us opening our presents from Santa. He was also in the Marines before he met my Mom in college. So, he was stricter than my mother as we grew. Chores were assigned, and discipline was given. We used to greet him when he came home but disappeared as teenagers. Every time we visited his parents, he taught us to do work to help them in need. We were taken to a water park to reward us. We could not be bored since he would find some work that needed to be done. So, I never wanted to be entertained but found what I wanted to do.

He also gave me a love of history and learning. Every year was a vacation to a historical site when we were old enough. We saw museums and battlefields. At first, we camped near playgrounds, but that improved as we grew. The memories of gathering sticks to help put up the tents. I do realize now that is probably what they could afford at the time. It was always a different place and seeing the other sites. My Dad used to drive twelve hours to his parents and six to my Mom’s. Before we were born, he could not even take a bathroom break. He must stop going to places now. When we were older, we stayed at more excellent places and tried to reach all fifty states. My parents just finished this goal this last month. By the end of this year, I will be in forty-two states. He was always helpful, even now since he has the senior lifetime pass to the national parks. So, my love for adventure came from him and his stories.

From the beginning, we went to private schools that were affordable. My Dad sacrificed his time and money to get us a quality education. They kept on all of us getting good grades. My older sister, who is smart, needs more ambition. She needed a few lessons. I was also more astute with my other siblings. He probably went without for some time, trying to get four kids through. If he could help, he would push us through the projects and encourage us to improve. He was not the most remarkable student, though. I had the same professor my parents had in college. The professor stated that my Mom was a great student, but my father was not so much. In grade school, he received an F in a subject, and the next grade turned into an A. My grandfather had that influence. He even failed junior college before joining the military. His mistakes made him push us to do better. He even remembered some stuff from college to help me get through the classes.

There were times we fought and irritated each other. My brother and Dad battled the worse, but that is a coming-of-age thing for boys. He retired from the police and drove everyone nuts at home. My Mom had to tell him to find another job. He is still working now, and he should be. His values of hard work were preserved. When we graduated high school, we were told either pay no rent and go to college or find a job and pay rent. We had no other choice but to learn responsibility. My brother joined the Marines and called my parents, saying, “They have more stupid rules than you do.” He finally understood why my Dad was the way he was. Now that I am older, I use him for more advice on some life issues. Car issues are his specialty since I do not yet have another man.

I am hard working and honest since those are the attributes that he taught. He has even taught my nephews essential lessons as he continues to play silly games with them. My nephews are his little buddies, and stories are his best moments. He has brought a tangible caring result to life. For those who depend on him, he is always there. His first response was to save me even when we were involved in a car accident. It ended up minor this time. His heart is in the right place, but he is not perfect. He tells Dad jokes, thinking he is funny. My sister said he was funny when she was five, and he has not forgotten it. He stands up for what is right and would not intentionally hurt anyone. I hope to find a man who loves me as my Dad loves my Mom. If he was not a stable, loving father, I would not be the person I am today. He has been present throughout my life and now in the lives of my nephews. We never had everything, but we had what we needed through his sacrifice, including four kids with braces. I could not ask for a better dad.