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Why You Should Not Have Sex Before Marriage

by james kimaru 3 months ago in proposal

Premarital sex

Are you getting near to finding the one? Or you are just stuck in a hedonic treadmill of potential lovers. Perhaps you may be lucky to have found your soul mate. But the question many are asking is this “will I end up being happy with the person I am dating?

There are many theories written about sex, based on traditional customs and religious beliefs, etc. The doctrines vary from tribe, culture, and religion.

You will agree with me that sexual intercourse is one of the most amazing experiences of life. It is a tool that creates strong bonds among couples. Sexual intimacy is powerful though it has grave destructive implications. The negative consequences of sexual intimacy are evident in the domain of premarital sex. In the current age, it's not a wonder for daters to meet on the first date and have sex. But there are those looking for a serious relationship and are aspiring to settle in marriage. Sex before a wedding is laying your relationship on a shaky and faulty foundation.

Whether you agree with me or not, many dating partners grow their relationship on the wrong view that having sex is love. I am here to tell you, is far off from the truth. Love is far away from sexual intercourse as heaven and earth are. You don’t need sex to get love and you don’t need love to get sex. Many gullible youths have been deceived and made to believe sex is a manifestation of love. I submit to you that sex is not even a sign of love.

There is nothing wrong with sex, but it is only worthy in a permitted and lawful marriage institution. This article will be explaining why you should abstain from sex until you get married. Below you will find my arguments which you won't be able to dispute because you all know that I am right. Even when you choose to do it, it is up to you. I can’t force you am only showing you the way.

Sex before marriage reduces the Value of the relationship-To creates a relationship with the opposite sex is a delicate thing. One has to put a consistent effort to develop a solid foundation friendship. Sex before marriage acts as a gear in the wheel of progress of this significant venture. It depicts it as being cheap and the reason for the relationship initially. Sexual intercourse no matter how exciting it is, cannot improve and sustain a relationship. Sex before marriage darts a relationship and destroys the opportunity of it being meaningful.

Sex before marriage cheapens sexual intimacy– from the word go sexual intimacy is a beautiful thing that is a strong tool for creating bonds of matrimony. Many who have experienced sex before marriage feels cheap, used, and foolish. No matter how different entities define it, be it the media, arts, and literature sexual intercourse is wrong. The moment of truth has arrived and truth must be said – those who engage in premarital sex feel three negative emotions of being cheap, used, and foolish and probably even worse than that.

Marriage gives you a chance to examine your real feelings- you are having a conversation with your friends, and you start the topic “no sex before marriage” and everyone is silent because it sounds weird. But if you say no sex before love that sounds more sensible correct? You may be wondering how do you know if you are in love with someone. My answer is this if you are compatible with your partner and there is an emotional connection between you. To add to that, if you are willing to marry the person to have sex with them. The reason being you cannot just marry someone to just sleep with them. You know the heart is deceitful above all things. Essentially this means that our heart will lie to us to believe in something which is not true, so ends up subscribing to the demands of our flesh. For instance, you are dating someone and tell them, “I am in love with you can we have sex’. And your partner says “I love you too, but first let get married.” This kind of statement will make your partner take some minutes and think about it. You know it’s not simple to get out of marriage, and this is the purpose of the marriage-to allow you to evaluate your real feelings to see if you were really in love to avoid tying the knot with someone you do not love.

Everyone is doing it- on an average 3 American goes for dating before having sex. In the US the rate of divorce is 50%. Here comes a question which % is married and is enjoying a happy marriage. I guess it is low. If I do some statistics, I would say 20% could even be lower. The numbers do not lie. Your chance of getting married and being happy is 1%. If you follow the path most are following. Meeting three times and you are already physically attracted and hooked up to the person. How do you probably know a person only after meeting three times? You end up being connected with someone and something complicated, and you do not know the person well. This is how people end up being in unhappy marriages and finally divorce. It is 1 out of 10 couples divorce that waited to have sex until marriage. Partners who wait till their marriage are likely to have happy marriages, Opposed to those who slept together before they are wedded.

What you obtain easily you do not esteem much- Thomas Paine once said ‘what we obtain too easily we esteem too lightly’ which means, if you get something which did not cost you, you don’t honor it that much. I believe that everything good is worth waiting for. Some of us have abstained from our childhood. Now it is a season of waiting, more than five years since I completed my studies. For instance, if I was to meet her today, it’s reasonable to date her for at least one year before getting married. I will be strong to wait until that night of my honeymoon since I have been waiting for the rest of my life. If we get to disagreements, do you think I will be so quick to walk away from that marriage? Being aware it could be another five years or more to get the one. No matter what we will solve that problem out. Now compare how easy it could be to walk away from a partner with whom you have had sex on a third date and begin something new with another person.


The main goal of dating and courtship is partners should grow the relationship to focus on the ideal qualities a marriage needs to harden when it happens. I call this the foundation of joyful relationships. This foundation enables dating and courtship partners to be responsible for the future they are planning together.

The brilliant opportunity to learn your partner, know what his or her shortcomings are, know his moods, attitude, as well as strength and weakness, should not be foregone on the altar of sexual exaggeration which is only valuable for premarital sex.

I hope after reading this article you have understood well why it makes sense to wait.


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