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Top Ten Reasons To Stay Married

The Top Ten Reasons to Keep Your Marriage

By mukesh jaiswarPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
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The divorce charge here in America is near 50%. In different words, only one 1/2 of all marriages go the distance. By "go the distance" I suggest last until "death do they part." These data exist in spite of the truth that normal marriage vows all encompass the thinking of permanency, and "I promise." So plenty for guarantees and preserving our word. And you understand what's scarier to me? The success charge for second marriages is even worse than that of first ones.

I see couples in my workplace for counseling regularly. The issues and problems are continually special and now not extraordinarily comparable at the same time. Differences over finances, baby rearing and extra-marital affairs pinnacle the list of imparting problems. Someone, or both, is commonly angry. By the time they get to me a lot of records has been written. Of course that history is perceived differently through every of them. The understanding of the history constantly determines the position of each. The appreciation always drives the workable for progress.

I'm going to let the cat out of the bag simply a little before we go any further. There aren't 10 reasons to remain married. There is one reason. But I will expose that later in this article.

Here are different reasons (in no unique order) that couples provide for staying married.

1. The children.

2. Finances/money.

3. Religious beliefs.

4. Fear.

5. Social position.

6. Lack of confidence.

7. Too old to start over.

8. It's comfortable.

9. I wouldn't comprehend how to go about making a change.

You should probable add to this list. These are, however, very common themes or announcement that I hear from clients. Sadly, I've had girl clients whom have been in extreme denial that they have been in an abusive relationship. I do my great not to judge as a clinician. I do strongly agree with that no one have to continue to be in an abusive relationship. And I will never make an apology for that bias. Regardless whether or not the abuse is sexual, physical or psychological, no one deserves to live in the dis-empowered kingdom that an abusive surroundings fosters.

I assume that too many humans get divorced too quickly. They do not do the necessary work to be together. Some pull the divorce rip cord too early. Many marital problems can be worked out if humans are realistic and open to understanding the other person. Communication is almost continually a problem in a marriage. The brains of guys and female are different. How we system the world is vastly different. If we learned about this and understood it's implications in relationships, many divorces would no longer occur. And, some human beings stay married and likely shouldn't. Sometimes a scenario is irretrievable. Sometimes they are just ready for the different individual to say it first.

So right here it is. The wide variety one (and only) reason to continue to be married is... Because you want to. I'll say it again. The only reason to stay married is because you prefer to. It would not have to be a ideal marriage. You don't want every body else's approval. You be with anyone solely if and due to the fact you choose to. This cause may want to consist of inside it some of the different top nine. All you want to know is that you want to remain with this different person. That alone is cause enough.

All married human beings are married to imperfect people. Let's face it, human beings are people. You can all list the flaws of your spouse, or boyfriend or girlfriend. That's effortless to do. I do not propose doing so. I specifically do not propose sharing it with him or her. That probable would not be productive and may additionally lead to in addition problems. Could you truely listing your personal flaws? Many of us could. It might no longer be as complete listing as our spouse should make for us. Or, it should virtually be extra comprehensive. But face it; we're all with different imperfect people. And we are there due to the fact we desire to be there. It will constantly come lower back to that.

Everyone who is married lengthy adequate has adequate motives to be divorced. It's true. Looking back, most of us honestly did not understand our spouse nicely earlier than marrying them. We idea we did. As the years have gone by way of we study and find out more and more. This discovery is both a blessing and a curse. We discover more amazing things, features and traits as time passes. But simply as all coins have two sides, so too does discovery. We additionally study extra and more annoying matters about that person. I'm no longer referring to major things. Little matters can add up over the route of a lifetime. Always preserve in mind, he or she is with you in spite of your flaws. This can permit us to have a sense of love and gratitude toward our spouse. Imagine how it feels to recognize that this character chooses to be with you even though they understand all about your each little imperfection. Feels highly good, would not it?

You would possibly make a listing of the different person's fine qualities. And begin with "they are with me due to the fact they favor to be and in spite of my shortcomings." Doing this might also purpose you to take a total new (and positive) view of that individual to whom you are married. Focusing on positives can reason the negatives to lower in importance.

John B Hudome, DCH, LCSW

Dr Hudome is a Doctor of Clinical Hypnotherapy with a very lively exercise in Maple Shade, NJ. He also has a MSW from the University of Pennsylvania and is licensed (LCSW) in New Jersey. John has been a practicing clinician for the reason that 1984. He commenced studying and training hypnosis and hypnotherapy in 1989. His humorous style need to no longer conceal the reality that he is a serious and astute reader of people. He is capable to reduce via complicated problems and simplify them into changeable parts. He treats folks and families.

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About the Creator

mukesh jaiswar

you are tite then you can try your future bright

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  • Emily Dickerson2 years ago

    I don't agree that the only reason to stay married is "because you want to." Interesting piece, though!

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