The Wedding Speech

(I recently got married and wanted to share the amazing and enjoyable day we had with my speech and some pics)

Thank you, dear friends and relatives, for being here today. We decided to get married only two months ago, which meant that, sadly, some of our guests couldn’t make it due to prior commitments. That’s why we truly appreciate your presence.

Having been together for nearly 12 years, we didn’t think a lavish wedding was necessary. We wanted something small, in the company of a few folks we treasure. And here we are. I drew the short straw for our potted history, while he gets the fun jokes!  But this little peek into our journey together shouldn’t be too dull.

Despite my many hints, my newly minted husband, Colin, resisted marriage. Having been wedded twice before, perhaps he was wary of being hurt again. Yet out of the blue HE proposed in August, on one knee too! I kept him waiting a whole three seconds for my answer!  We’ve grown very close and comfortable together over the years, though it was uncertain at the beginning.

After my own stressful divorce, I was often too ill with diabetes to go anywhere. I decided to create a Meetup club for others who lived alone too, and to make new friends. Over 300 members joined in the first two years, and one of them was this good looking fella, with sad eyes, and a sparse introduction on his joining profile. But when he appeared at one of our meet and greets, there was an instant spark between us.

I was cautious though, because he didn’t seem ready for any relationship. I also love dancing, and he couldn’t move a muscle; I was positive and confident and he seemed introverted, wary and shy. I thought to myself, not much to see here, but hey, he’ll do. It seems he was also thinking the same, so no great expectations for us, then.

Our first date was a couple of weeks later, in November 2014, and since then, we’ve wondered where the time has gone. But that’s what happens when you’re with the right person: you are too busy enjoying yourselves to notice time. However, getting acquainted was the easy part, because, despite being reassured by my new date that everyone in his circle was welcoming and friendly, that clearly didn’t extend to me when I was introduced.

In fact, some people instantly decided I was NOT worthy, even though they knew nothing about me, they said very little to me, or simply ignored me. This level of animosity, and discomfort with my difference, was a pretty painful and isolating experience. Anyone would have thought I had committed some offence the way total strangers deliberately excluded me. Colin was also shocked and embarrassed at my poor reception, especially when other newcomers had not been treated in that manner. We decided to leave the naysayers to their issues, and retreated into our own world to make love instead of war!

I mention that sad beginning to show that, far from destroying our friendship, the unexpected hostility cemented our love for each other beyond words. Personally, I’ve never been able to comprehend such blind prejudice and fear of difference, especially when I share a mixed race heritage, with a White grandfather and my DNA claiming 28% Scottish roots! I suppose it’s easy to judge people by age, race, culture etc. But they are such limited measures of our worth and value.

On the brighter side, we’ve had some amazing friends who have treated us with kindness, love, and respect. For example, I cannot forget the first time I met Colin’s friend, Stuart. As he came through our gate, he looked at me hugging Colin and said, with mock indignation, “Unhand him, woman”. I thought, now there’s a challenge, and held on to my guy even tighter. Needless to say, Stuart and his wife, Lyns, have been tremendous over the years, and it is so touching to have their unstinting support on our big occasion. Again, Colin’s sister Sue, her husband Tony and their family are here to share our moment, and that is so heartening and encouraging. We are very grateful for that.

I marvel that Colin and I are like teenagers in love, smiling like cheshire cats when we see each other and can’t stop hugging. In fact, being very independent people, we lived apart for 10 years and every day we were on the phone for two to three hours, morning and evening, and still met at lunch times to walk and talk. We cannot explain that level of attraction, one which has grown even stronger with time, but our wedding today speaks for it.

We put this very enjoyable relationship down to five things: Love, Learning, Laughter, Communication, and mutual Respect. We try not to take each other for granted, because it is easy to let money, work and the stresses of life gradually kill a connection, at least that’s what my books say!

Being passionate quizzers, especially since Colin took early retirement, we love Learning new things. We get out of bed late every day mainly because, as voracious readers, we are constantly in a book, talking about our world, or quizzing each other! Our leisurely lie-in is now so infamous, a few weeks ago, we bumped into our friend, Darren, on our morning walk. Seeming surprised as he looked at his watch, he asked us what we were doing out of bed so early at 11 o’clock! I bet he thought he was funny. But our morning walk is not like any other walks.

I love history, and last year decided to learn about every British monarch since 1066, unearthing some amazing facts in the process. For example, did you know that King Charles does not need a passport, driving licence, number plate or car insurance, like us mere mortals? I began sharing my new knowledge with Colin, and he also started enlightening me on whatever he was reading. This daily information exchange has become a huge source of humour and enlightenment for us, not to mention keeping our brains active.

The monarchs were followed by British Prime Ministers of the past 300 years. One morning, after I’d finished my talk on a famous PM, and Colin had told me about Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones, he suddenly exclaimed: Get us! Aren’t WE living the high life? From Neville Chamberlain to love, sex and rock and roll? Way to go! Yes, and with very little stress too. Perhaps that’s what keeps us youthful! The American presidents come next.

Along with the love, the learning, mutual appreciation, and constant communication with each other, the biggest bond between my husband and myself comes through the easy Laughter we share, finding humour in most things. I am impulsive in approach, and sometimes even silly, while he’s very calm and logical. Not only do our different cultures give us a wider perspective on routine issues, but we’re never short of something to make us smile when we’re trying to reconcile those differences.

Anyway, so much on the relationship, but what of the man himself?

Well, the qualities I love about my soulmate include his unending patience, tolerance, dry humour, gentleness, care for me, and being non-judgemental. No matter what I do, Colin never judges me. He allows me to be myself which  means the most to me. He is a very good mimic of accents, and his imitation of people like Andy Murray, Morgan Freeman, Sean Connery, and even Liz Truss  cracks me up. He is also a musical encyclopaedia, which is amazing, and comes in handy for quizzes. He loves the music of Bob Dylan and David Gilmore of Pink Floyd, as well as reggae, and classic soul. In fact, he was the one who introduced me to the African Zulu Heartbeat album, which gave us our entry song for the wedding.

We both accept that though neither of us is perfect, only he has all the faults! But seriously, though not a dancer, his other qualities keep us glued together. That’s why this wedding feels so right for us. It’s like a new challenge in a continuing, exciting adventure, and we love it.

But today, dear folks, is only the icing on our cake. Our incredible relationship of mutual love, trust, humour and appreciation, IS the cake itself that we hope to be eating for the rest of our lives.

Thank you so much for your attention. Please join me in raising a toast to my awesome husband, Colin!