A high quality marriage is one that adds value to each other

　　I have heard people share the experience of success with three elements: persistence, shamelessness, and insistence on shamelessness. People living is not too shameful, too shameful is not to do things. The "shameless" here, not to turn your back on morality, but the time to be shameless, it is cheeky to fight for what you want. The longer you live the more you will find: once you have the courage to be shameless, life will be different.

　　The quality of marriage can be divided into 3 categories: high quality marriage, is to add value to each other; ordinary marriage, is a stable life, the oil and salt; low quality marriage, is consumed by each other, mutual torture. Which kind do you belong to?

　　Divorce at the drop of a hat? Divorce is a family?

　　Last week about a friend to eat hot pot, waiting for her, was attracted by the sound of quarrels at the door.

　　The man said, "What hot pot in the summer, hot, hot pot more unhealthy, easy to get gastroenteritis!" The woman is anxious: "Do not make excuses, I love hot pot, you do not let me eat, is not love me!" The man tugged her and said, "What kind of sophistry is that? If I say no, I can't." The woman shook him off: "I just got married a few days ago, and I can't even decide to have a meal by myself? If you don't let me eat hot pot, you can go there yourself, and we'll get a divorce!" The man saw so many people watching, he was also angry, said: "Divorce, divorce, first write the divorce agreement, you can eat hot pot!" Finally the two of them actually asked for a private room to write the divorce agreement, and when they went out, they agreed to meet at the entrance of the Civil Affairs Bureau the next day, and then each went away.

　　I was stunned that I could witness a divorce drama over dinner. These two people in love, certainly also full of sweet talk, looking forward to married life, the results, not long after the license, the red book became a green book.

　　No unique. A pair of friends just married not long, two people because of a little sesquicentennial things argued. But it is the chores who should do, your toothpaste how not to put good, your smelly socks how not to wash on the bed ...... two days ago, the two again because of the small things quarrel, each does not give way. "Divorce!" "Divorce on divorce!" Not long after, they both really divorced.

　　How to increase the cost of divorce and solidify your marriage

　　It is reasonable to say that if the couple's careers, social and friend circles intersect more, the cost of divorce will be greater. For example, a couple, they are junior high school classmates, after graduation together to create a company, from childhood to adulthood, all their circle of friends, career circle is shared.

　　The man is not without dissent, but if the divorce, it is estimated that many friends will be on the side of the wife, his partners also have a good relationship with his wife, how will he be seen then? His career will be affected, and he can even be alienated by everyone. The circle of friends and career are at risk, and the cost of this divorce would be too great.

　　Is there any other way? Some couples use the method of having a child to tether the TA's heart.

　　A woman, with more than one child, her husband will care more about the family and have a greater sense of belonging. Likewise, with a child, a woman will give more to the family and will cherish it more. A study of 43,000 marriages at Columbia University found that couples with children were less likely to divorce. If couples have more than one child, they become more deeply involved and attached to the marital relationship.

　　Money, career, friends, reputation, and children are all ways to increase the cost of divorce, but, are only one way to maintain the shell of a marriage. The added cost of divorce comes at the cost of a lower quality marriage, with only an empty shell and no real resolution of the matter of emotional issues.

　　High-quality marriages add value to each other

　　Maintain the marriage, can rely on increasing the cost of divorce, but also by increasing the attractiveness of the marriage. Specific performance in 3 areas.

　　There is passion. Passion, you must have experienced, at the beginning of the relationship, the two people just stay together, are feeling very happy. But this passion is time-sensitive, after marriage is basically depleted, how to do? Do not worry, there is a passion, that is: "There is a person in the world, more than myself understand me, because there Ta, I am no longer alone in the world."

　　Be intimate. Intimacy, is that you can put down your defenses, do not have to be afraid of your vulnerability, will be hurt after he sees, and, he will accept their vulnerable side. For example, a man who seems cool can be pampered with his wife. Or, the original delicate girl, who usually always plays the little woman to gain concessions, but can be very direct with her husband to express her needs. This is intimacy, the ability to present yourself, even your weaknesses, naturally, like a child, and trust that the other person is accepting.

　　Mutual cooperation. It is when one party can't cope, the other party takes the initiative to bear, mutual support, take turns to do something for each other. The story of a friend illustrates very graphically what cooperation is: she said that not long after the marriage, she was doing research and all kinds of pressure, resulting in the outbreak of depression. Her husband took good care of her, and with reasonable medication, she slowly got better. At that time, she felt that her husband was like an angel who saved her while fulfilling all the expectations of unfailing love in her heart. After she got better, she completely gave up the path of doing research and became fully involved in her husband's business. In daily life, she and her husband to develop exercise plans, diet plans, to help him lose weight, improve physical fitness, and now her husband's indicators are very healthy, energy and stamina have improved substantially. Go to the present, the two of them husband and wife to do things thinking, perception, diet, habits are completely on a frequency, the ability to complement each other, trust, loyalty and tacit understanding not to mention.

　　There is no feeling very warm, such feelings, even if there is no "money, career, friends, reputation, children," the bondage, I believe they will not leave each other.