What will be included in my Dream Home to make it scream "Me"
"So the bathroom is right down the hall, past the life-sized Jimin cardboard cutout but before the Hachikō statue replica."
Interior designing extraordinaires Bobby Berk, Joanna Gaines and Nate Berkus call me up one fine morning and offer me the chance to build my dream home from the ground up with no budget required.
"You want it, you got it" is the mantra they repeat to me.
I let them know I'll get back to them because I have a soccer date with David Beckham and the Ronaldos and it's at this precise moment when my alarm awakens me to my humble abode I presently reside at.
I am now left with an imaginary checklist for everything I need to have in my fantasy home that I'd like to share with you all today.
Nestled quietly in a large tract of land somewhere lies my Dream Home with no nosy neighbours anywhere and UberEats manages to arrive within twenty minutes of ordering.
... It's my fantasy and I can have unrealistic expectations if I want to.
The living room of DH manages to overlook the gorgeous greenery as seen in the image above which remains a perfect spot for where I sip my tea in the morning while my mom insists on scrambling the eggs she picked up from the Farmer's Market. She lives in a separate wing with her own entrance and all the amenities needed in order to spend her retired days thriving. I aim to have DH embody the idea of calming relaxation and I would think this view is a pretty fantastic start.
My DH consists more of having three separate lofts combined into one giant living entity. First level is mom's oasis, second is family area complete with an unnecessarily massive kitchen (mozzarella sticks taste better when cooked inside of a twenty-burner stove) and every possible video game system released to be played on a floor-to-ceiling television while you are lounging on a deliciously cozy turquoise couch handcrafted by the angels themselves for maximum comfortability.
Third level is the master's sanctuary with a California King because I've slept on a twin-sized bed for my entire life and I am honestly just excited to have all this extra room for so many activities. Maybe I'll sleep this way tonight. I think I'm going to pile on as many pillows as I can and sleep on them tomorrow.
The possibilities are endless!
There is certainly a kitchenette included because how else am I going to relax in my massage chair without having a container of ice cream present in my immediate vicinity? The lack of human beings surrounding the area as well makes anytime the perfect time to blare "Then He Kissed Me" as loud as the speakers allow while I frolic about, trying on all the possible fashion combinations in my closet to my heart's content.
Colour Palette? Pastel.
What screams "calming relaxation" better than light pinks and pale purples?
I love bright-light colours. I feel calmer when I enter a room with a muted pink aesthetic to it. What colour exactly is "muted pink"? I have no idea. That's why I have Bobby Berk. To explain to me the difference between "muted pink" and "subtle salmon."
There is a quote from the 2001 heist comedy/remake Ocean's Eleven that has stuck with me for years. It's the scene where Rusty (Brad Pitt) and Danny (George Clooney) are in their hotel room watching surveillance footage of their comrade.
Danny pauses and asks "... Why do they always paint hallways that colour?" In a split second, Rusty responds with "they say taupe is very soothing."
And thus, my appreciation for the colour taupe and others like it was born.
I also prefer having lighter tones on my walls because growing up in an Afghan household, the greatest choices of colour we were given were either white or eggshell white, if you were feeling adventurous. While I am not ready (just yet) to paint my bedroom with a mix of navy blue and juniper green, I believe a sky blue on one wall with the faintest whisper of a blush pink included on another would be a fantastic compromise.
Pop Culture Paraphernalia? Everywhere.
So myself and about twenty other grandmothers out there love us some physical media. I began collecting DVDs when they were a thing and graduated to Blu-rays a number of years ago.
I know collecting physical disks is a dying art. I'm aware that Samsung previously announced they are discontinuing their Blu-ray player production... But the Mondo steelbook of Drive was just too beautiful to pass up!
I am currently mother to 100 Blu-rays, 20 steelbooks including the aforementioned Mondo for Drive, six DigiBooks and ten Criterion Blu-rays of some of my absolute favourite classics including 12 Angry Men, Seven Samurai, The Before Trilogy, Some Like It Hot, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, and The Graduate.
What this addiction means is shelves. Shelves everywhere.
I separate my collection by having my Blu-rays alphabetized and the other products paired with their respective buddies so Criterions are together, steelbooks hang out etc.
In DH, I plan on having a separate room focused specifically on displaying the movies in a nostalgic Blockbuster Video fashion. Whether I will use the iconic blue/yellow palette is still up for debate but as I continue typing this sentence, it's looking more and more likely that I will need to have this kind of room setup for my current reality moreso than this fantastical dreamland...
I have numerous wishlists scattered across various websites for BTS-centric products I plan to never buy but hey, an ARMY can dream... Maybe I will need a life-sized cutout of Jimin that day the Interior Trio look over the blueprints of DH with me.
Now because there are seven lovely members in the group, I must have seven individual large posters for maximum fandom efficiency. I recently learned about a website called Displate that is home to a wide-range of posters from a variety of film, television, gaming and travel.
(They also plant a tree for every purchase made and in this house, we love philanthropy.)
During one of my perusing sessions, I came across the following poster featuring a neon outline of the Boys along with Halsey who collaborated with them on their hit single "Boy With Luv."
I can assure you that I will be purchasing the largest possible size for the above poster and will most likely place it in front of the entrance so every guest that enters the residence can be greeted by such beauty.
Will this home satisfy the dreams of every person who reads this article? While there are almost no guarantees in life, I can assure you that no, not everyone who reads this will envision their fantasy land being overrun by (future) obsolete products and K-pop.
And that is the beauty of imagination.
My Dream House is not a "perfect" house by any means but it is entirely mine.
My oasis. My solitude. It screams "Me."