The Power of Moments

Moments, Tiny fragments of time, that cannot be recovered. The most precious records of our memories are savored when we reflect on times, times, or bad.

Defining Moments stand out, they influence us, cause us to rethink our direction, and re-shape the trajectory of our lives. How do we recall experiences or moments? Research has found that in recalling an experience, we ignore most of what happened and focus instead on a few particular moments.

When people assess an experience, they tend to forget or ignore its length- a phenomenon called “duration neglect” Instead, they seem to rate the experience based on two key moments:

The best or worst moment, known as the “peak”

the ending

Psychologists call this the “peak-end rule”

Elements that create defining moments

A defining moment must include at least one of these elements — It does not have to include all four.

Elevation — The peak of our experiences

Insight — The way we understand ourselves or the world

Pride — Moments that find us at our best

Connection — the social connections we form with others

Thinking in Moments

Three situations constitute natural defining moments

Transitions: They seem so natural that they are almost always marked with some sort of “coming of age” ritual. Eg: weddings, the first day of college, promotions, end of projects, etc.

Milestones: Birthdays are the most obvious milestones, ( 1st, 18th, 21st, 30th, 40th,50th, 60th, 100th ), retirement, and unheralded achievements. eg: A salesman’s 20 million dollars of revenue

Pits: They are the opposite of peaks, i.e negative defining moments, moments of hardship or pain, or anxiety.

Treasures of Defining moments

Build peaks

Peaks do not emerge naturally, They must be built.

To elevate a moment, do these things:

Boost sensory appeal

Raise the stakes

Break the script ( Breaking the script means violating expectations about an experience )

Multiple Milestones

Hitting a milestone sparks pride. It should also spark a celebration — a moment of elevation. milestones deserve peaks.

To identify a milestone, ask yourself:

What is inherently motivating?

What would be worth celebrating that might only take a few weeks or months of work?

What is a hidden accomplishment that is worth surfacing and celebrating?

Practice Courage

It can be hard to be courageous, but it is easier when you’ve practiced. Being in the know and having ample knowledge allows you to have confidence in the outcome of the situation. Practicing courage also allows you to manage fear. Exposing yourself is a critical part of building courage. You put yourself in a situation where you have no choice but to act and be courageous.

Moments, when we display courage, make us proud. We never know when courage will be demanded, but we can practice ensuring we are ready.

Summary

Build peaks

Peaks do not emerge naturally, They must be built.

To elevate a moment, do these things:

Boost sensory appeal

Raise the stakes

Break the script ( Breaking the script means violating expectations about an experience )

A defining moment must include at least one of these elements — It does not have to include all four.

Elevation — The peak of our experiences

Insight — The way we understand ourselves or the world

Pride — Moments that find us at our best

Connection — the social connections we form with others

Defining Moments stand out, they influence us, cause us to rethink our direction, and re-shape the trajectory of our lives. How do we recall experiences or moments? Research has found that in recalling an experience, we ignore most of what happened and focus instead on a few particular moments.