The Golden Egg - And where to find em.

So, unless you live under a rock, or only eat things you locally source from your backyard (much praise to you!) then you have experienced the extremely high price of groceries lately. Things like meat, eggs, milk, and other groceries have gone sky high, but I'm going to give you some recommendations that you might not have realized, or thought of. It might just save you a TON of money.

1.) EGGS. P.S. I'm going to rant. If you wanna bypass the rant, scroll down until you see the next bold word. I pick up my sanity there. The reason for the SKY-HIGH price of eggs is simple. Corporate fondling and Big Agriculture assholery. Basically, literally, putting all the nations eggs into one basket. Haven't these assholes ever heard the saying; "Don't put all your eggs in one basket"? Apparently not.

Well, a bout of bird flu hit the corporate farms and all the egg producers killed all their chikens and started over. Did they reach into their savings and pay for their re-start themselves? FUCK NO. They have you to do that for them. They just bought eggs from places that didn't have bird flu and jacked the prices up to compensate (Why not? You'll pay the price, right?)

Well, you wanna know how long it takes a chicken before they start laying eggs? 18 to 22 weeks. That's it. Since there are 52 weeks in the year, anyone who had to "cull" a.k.a. kill their entire flock of chickens, should have an entire new flock of egg producing hens already laying.

A quick note. Did you know that bird flu is not blood borne, and therefore, cannot infect eggs? Did you know that some chickens get the flu, and recover just fine? Imagine if we just KILLED every human that got the flu. Fucking stupid. But, when you put ALL THE NATIONS EGGS IN ONE BASKET, like we do with Big agriculture and Mega-livestock and Poultry farms here in the USA, Bird flu at just one or two facilities, means BILLIONS of extra dollars in expenses for Americans.

Oh, and did they kill the chickens and then cook them and can the meat? No. Nope. They literally kill them all, and then bulldoze dirt over them, which turns the ground TOXIC for years upon years. They didn't kill, cook, and then grind the meat into pet food, or use them for something else worthy. Nope. They just killed them all, in the most wasteful way inhumanly possible. Again, Big Agriculture for you. Ugh.

Anyway! CHEAP EGGS are hard to come by! But they can be found! My local TARGET has dozen grade A large Eggs for less than $3 a dozen. My local SAMS club has the same size and grade eggs, 24 ct. for $6. That's $3 a dozen for those who don't do "maths". Oh, and if you say "maths" around me, I'll slap you.

2.) BACON and SAUSAGE. I love both bacon, and sausage. But with a package of bacon, NOT EVEN A POUND, being $8 to $12, I've had to swear it off, for a bit mind you. I have found some great ways to save though! SAMS Club, Costco and BJ's wholesale clubs usually have a THREE POUND pack of bacon, for about $12 to $15 dollars. That's cheaper than the $12 BOGO. That's better than 2 for $10. That's a good damn deal! I also find that Sausage is running me $5 for a little tube of Jimmy Dean, but when I make Sausage Biscuits and Gravy (Buttermilk Biscuits with a sausage gravy on top) I always use two one-pound tubes. Well, at the wholesale clubs, I'm gonna call them BCS for Bj's Costco and SAMS. So, at BCS, you can get a two pound tube of Jimmy Dean Sausage for $7.99 Not bad.

3.) CREAM CHEESE. My god. I just bought a two pack of Philly for $7.99, and I had to buy two of those to make a cheesecake. With a quart of heavy whipping cream ($12.99) and a container of Sour Cream ($3.00) and the graham crackers, my freaking Cheesecake was almost thirty dollars! NOW I think buying that little pre-made on in the bakery cold case might be the way to go, but NOTHING beats a home made cheesecake. So... BCS has cream much cheaper. Philly is half the price, sour cream, a half gallon for the same price as a PINT. Looking for Helluva French Onion dip? They got you covered, and much cheaper than your local grocery, which will ultimately last you longer. So BCS, same price, MORE quantity, less trips to the store.

4.) CHICKEN. I have a family of 6 adults. We work, and we eat. We eat a lot. You know those bags of Viola at the grocery? It's pronounced WAH-LAH. Anyway, we have to cook three bags to feed us one meal. We had the Garlic Chicken tonight. Very tasty. BUT, Viola is expensive. $7.99 for a regular bag, $9.99 for a bigger bag, which we'd eat two. And this is before veggie or another side. I mean, okay, not break the bank expensive, considering a freaking Big-Mac meal is $9.99 at my local Mickey-D's But expensive enough. Well, if you want a QUICK inexpensive meal, BCS usually has rotisserie chickens for $5 to $8 a piece. Fully cooked, seasoned, and yummy. If you go early evening, 4-5 pm, you can get the cheap ones. Later, the pickings get slimmer, until maybe all that is left are the more expensive faa-faa-fauh chickens with ethical edcation and equal opprtunity to peck and scratch before they get be-headed. You know, the chickens that charge more for their dead carcasses. They're sending the money back home to their chicks in... in... Chiconia...

5.) MILK. Those God damned cows are at it again, charing more for their milk and refusing to eat anything but PREMIUM Grass, hay, alfalfa and urea. Yeah, Urea. Anyways, reality is, farmers gotta eat too. You can shop around for milk but my local TARGET has the cheapest milk. SAMS is comparable, but not BJ's or COSTCO.

Oh SHIT! I gotta say this too. ALDI's is a fucking grocery dream, if you don't care about selection. Also, you get sucked in quick! I go to Aldi's to save, I come outta there with $150.00 in groceries and a SHIT TON of junk food. Did you know they sell almost every Girl Scout Cookie at Aldi's? They just aren't called Girl Scout Cookies. Beanton, Bremmerton, Bean-town, whatever the name, it's Aldi's NO_NAME brand, right. Look for the fudge covered peanut butter cookies. OH MY GAWD they are good. Thin Mints are like, Minty discs cookies. They have fake Oreos that are JUST AS GOOD AND TWICE AS FRESH! No, not a thousand flavors of Oreos, so if you;re looking for the Strawberry Rhubarb Souffle flavor Oreos, you'll have to stick with yer local grocery. ALDI's has THE CHEPEST MILK, EGGS, CHEESE, COOKIES, CRACKERS, CEREAL, CHOCOLATES, PIES, BREAD, FRUITS AND VEGGIES, PIZZA, FROZEN STUFF, ICE CREAM... EVERYTHING.

I will say this though. I don't get my chicken at Aldi. I get ground beef there, CHEAP, but BCS is usually close with their 4+ pound pkg of ground beef at $3.99 a pound, 80/20 or 85/15 mix. Chickens, however, at Aldi, are like, butchered by assassins. You get feathers and bone chips, fragments of all manner of things. I want to eat a chicken breast or thigh, without having to dissect it before putting it in the pan. I get ground chicken, pork, beef, that's all fine. Boneless Skinless Chicken Thighs, TARGET will have a coupon affixed to packages that are going to expire in a day or two. Then it's $1 off PER POUND, which means $1.99 a pound, sometimes LESS.

Chicken Breasts. Another tip. If you're going to buy chicken breasts, the driest part of the chicken, then just go to the freezer section and buy frozen. They're half the price of fresh, and the fresh are just thawed that day. ALL CHICKEN comes into the grocery FROZEN.

6.) CHEESE in general. No, not like General Provolone of the Swiss Army knives. I mean like Cheddar, and... okay, Provolone. He can come too. Shredded cheese usually goes on sale often. If you like cheese, AND WHO DOESN'T! WHO DOESN'T????? That's right... you better not say you don't like cheese! LOL. Well, if you like variety, and small packages, then wait for the BOGO's and the two-fer deals at your local grocery. If you like snacking on cheese slices, or cutting blocks, then BCS and Aldi are the way to go. Target is a no-go for this. My BCS sells a TWO POUND block of slices for about $7.99. I have a pack of Provolone and Cheddar in the fridge. They also have descent deals on sliced meat, but I find for the selection, I go with ALDI's. You can get a descent selection of sliced cheese and meats, and some exotic stuff too, at Aldi. Sliced Gruyere, Pepper Jack, Gouda, Smoked Gouda, Mozzarella, a bit of balls in the oil... I'm still talking MOZZARELLA you perves! But seriously, Aldis is awesome for meat and cheese. They also have really descently prices Calzones and ready bake pizzas if you want something quick and easy in the oven.

7.) GASOLINE. The price of gas runs everything now-a-days. Well, BCS has an advantage for you. The closest SAMS club for me is a half hour away. I used to go there when I could, and get gas, because they were 10 to 20 cents a gallon cheaper than everyone else in town. NOW I have a BJ's credit card, and MY GOD are they awesome. My corner RACETRAC has gas, $3.49 a gallon. BJ's a mile away... ready? No, sit down. Now you ready? $2.89 a gallon. But you gotta get a Capital One BJ's credit card to get the full savings. I mean, just for the savings on gas alone, it's worth it.

Now, I'm going to do a bit of a speed run here. I'm going to name the store, and what I buy from that store, and if it's something special, I'll let you know why, and then that's the end of this post. Okay, here we go.

SAMS CLUB: I buy Sharpie Markers, post-its, ink pens and a few other stationary items. They're the cheapest hands down. Cascade dishwasher tabs. Cat food. Honey Buns and mini-doughnuts. POTATOES AND ONIONS in ten pound bags. Cheapest, best value and quality. 10 Pounds for 6 bucks. Vidalia onions, white or yellow onions, and potatoes. SALAD in ready made bags. $3 bucks for a HUGE BAG. Mushroom, and cherry tomatoes. Coffee creamer, MILK, EGGS, BUTTER in packs of 4 blocks of 4 sticks. That's 16 sticks for $12 bucks or less. Heavy Whipping cream. LITEHOUSE RANCH. It comes in a big bottle and we drink it. LOL. $4 for a bottle, where a bottle HALF the size would cost us $5 to 7 anywhere else. Big blocks of sliced cheese. Ground beef. Huge packs of boneless skinless chicken thighs depending on price. BABY BACK RIBS! They sell giant packs of three racks, for $20-$25 bucks. You cannot beat Baby Back ribs and sliced potatoes with onions, slathered in BBQ sauce, for dinner. Oh so good. We get Jimmy Dean Sausage egg and cheese croissants in a box of 8, cheaper at SAMS than anywhere else. Pineapples! $2 bucks. Giant bags of shrimp, super cheap compared to other places. Usually 2 pounds at BCS compared to one pound price anywhere else. Lastly, Gift cards. SAMS has great deals on specific gift cards for places to eat out, get coffee, or donuts. Yeah, Dunkin, Krispy Kreme, Starbucks, Taco Bell, all sorts of gift cards.

PIZZA TO GO! Oh, SAMS has me with their Pizza, their berry sundaes and their pretzels. So good. These are quick counter food items, as well as their cherry and raspberry slushies. TO DIE FOR.

Okay, COSTCO: Now Costco has stuff that SAMS does not. A bigger selection of fresh and frozen sea food, a different selection of luxury items, and different brands of third party items and foods including exotic stuff. We get a lot of industrial items from Costco like shelving and such. We also get bagels and bakery items because the deals are better. Most other items are about the same as far as pricing, but at Costco they have big containers of chocolate covered raisins, or sea salt chocolate covered caramels.... mmmm so yummy. They also have different to-go foods. I absolutely have to have their chicken bake pocket, or a churro when I go. Sadly, they don't have slushies, but they have a lot of the same items as SAMS, so it's a different experience, no matter where you go. The closest COSTCO to me is almost an hour away, so I find myself going to SAMS more often than Costco.

BJ's Wholesale. Well. Before they built a brand new BJ's right by me, the frequency I went to BJ's was... never. I went last October, saw all their stuff was about the same price, or a bit higher, than SAMS or COSTCO, so I decided it was a NO-GO for me. BUT, WOW WAS I WRONG. See, BJ's has the right idea. You walk in, they hand you a coupon booklet. You can show with the app, just like SAMS scan and go, but better, you can select coupons in the app too! The coupons make a lot of items CHEAPER than SAMS or COSTCO, and they automatically apply to the purchase, even if you don't use your phone to check out. If you clip the coupons in the app, YOUR BJ'S ACCOUNT KNOWS, and when you check out, all the coupons you selected on your PHONE get taken off at the register. Because they are so close, any money I might save at SAMS or Costco, is wasted in gasoline, and because BJ's offers the best price on Gas, it's a no brainer. I go to BJ's almost DAILY to grab items, from milk to eggs to cheese, salad, veggies, fruit, everything. There are a few items I cannot get from BJ's, so I go to SAMS or Target to grab these.

TARGET: I cannot deny, Target has what I'm looking for. Always. The lowest price on eggs and milk, cheaper than BCS but not cheaper than Aldis!!! They have luxury items I might need, like the latest DVD, or holiday items, you know. Stuff. And saving 5% on everything with the REDcard is a deal. Did you know that the 5% off, also applies to any gift cards you might buy.... Just saying. And TARGET has a shit ton of gift cards. Also, they have excellent selection of HBA items, home goods, and more. I get OLLY brand men's vitamins from my TARGET. BJ's carries OLLY brand, but only two different types. Apparently no men's muti-vitamin gummy. Well, whatever. My BJ's and TARGET are in the same sub-complex, so it's an easy double stop. Oh, and Target is cheaper on Creme Cheese too! Usually cheapest on Coffee Creamer, unless I'm buying a gallon, then it's BCS. For no name brand creamer, aka Bremmery whatever, Aldi's is always cheapest.

And Lastly, ALDI! Might I say, I shop at Aldi, I intend to buy just the basics, but the deals are so freaking good, I find myself buying everything. Pork Schnitzel is AMAZING! Jalapeno Poppers, Mozzarella Cheese sticks for the oven, veggies, fruit, pizza, snacks, cookies, cakes, bread, pies, cheese, meat, ground meat, frozen stuff! Oh, super big bag of frozen hasbrowns, like 2 pound bag, $4. Eggs and Milk. I keep saying this. How cheap? $2.49 for a dozen eggs. $2.80 for a gallon of milk, any percentage or whole. Heavy Whipping Cream is super cheap too. Sausange and bacon, meats, butter, everything. Everything is cheaper at Aldi. So... why don't I just go to Aldi every God Damned Day? Cause I work. I usually work till 8-9 at night, my local grocery, BJ's and TARGET are all open till 10 pm, or later. Aldi's closes at 8 pm like fort Knox around here. AND they are 15 min away, in either direction. Also, if they were closer, I'd be broke! LOL I buy little hand held pies there, cookies and cakes, crackers and nummy stuff. I buy sweet bread and brioche, rolls and cookies... OMG Reese Pieces Peanut Butter Cookies are the best. They also have a good selection of specialty and seasonal goodies which I get sucked into as well. They often have name brands, right next to their own, and sometimes at the same prices! OH, Squeezy cheese is HALF to one-third the price of anywhere else. Juice, soda, and other products so much cheaper there too.

Last last lastly... A couple of mentions.

WALMART for Donuts. Good selection, great pricing. Bacon, specifically one package, the odds and ends. Who cares! It's bacon! They were ALWAYS $2.49 a pack for that. Super Cheap bacon. They do well on a few other items, but in general I find better deals everywhere else, and closer. P.S. I know they are same as SAMS club, but Sams is better. LOL.

DOLLAR TREE. Never woulda thought. If you need a small nostalgic candy, or something cheap you plan on destroying in some sort of experiment, then DOLLAR TREE, DOLLAR GENERAL, or whatever your local Dollar Store is, is the way to go. ALSO, if you drink SODA, like some people I know, then this is the place to go! Walmart has started upping the price on their Sams brand of sodas. BCS doesn't compete because they supply local stores with cans and bottles individually SKU'ed for resale. BUT, your local grocer might have something better. My PUBLIX supermarket, some of them, have their own brand Soda, in stock... $1.19 per two-liter. HOWEVER, the Dollar Tree, has a THREE LITER bottle selection and sometimes NAME BRANDS like RC Colar, Sunkist, Squirt, or FAYGO, for a DOLLAR. That's right. ONE DOLLAR. So, if yer up for adventure, excitement, and possibly a shoot out, come to Florida where you can often find everything you're looking for, right at the local Dollar Tree!

I swear I should be their spokesperson. I might not last long, but man I'd burn bright like a mile wide comet splashing down in a Florida backyard kiddie pool!

Alright, I'm done. Hope you all enjoy and go get some of these savings! If you have savings tips of yer own, post em and let us know!

Thanks everyone and please feel free to share, subscribe, repost, and like.