The Fantastic Flops of a Fashionista

Fashion is the fabric of the complex design we call our minds.

We live life dancing around numbers on a bank account, working 9-5 (or less if you're lucky), and repeatedly telling ourselves the well-known phrase: 'you don't need it, you don't need it, you don't need it'.

But what if we did need it?

It's one thing to wordlessly scroll through Instagram in the middle of the night, the bright light of your phone blinding both your eyes and your sense of will-power, but it's another thing to get up and buy something from a nearby Walmart.

But no, oh no, we aren't talking about planned shopping here! We're talking about the dangerous, money-eating feeling that tends to rob us of our savings—or in more familiar terms—"The Splurge".

I've fallen victim to The Splurge countless times, because somehow I can't seem to resist the temptation of a cute outfit I see on Instagram. To make it worse, Facebook added a shopping function onto all their platforms! They want to see us bleed our pockets dry, don't they?

And, yes, they do.

Here's a list of three items I thought you'd like to hear about, considering I've fallen victim to buying them (for better or for worse!):

(1) The Koi Fish Beret

This one, my friends, was thankfully a fantastic buy.

A few years back I went through a phase where I was 'totally-crazed' over berets, wearing one wherever I went. Some say I wanted to be French, but I say I wanted to be fashionable (and maybe a little French, I'll admit). I collected berets like humans collect spare-change found on the sidewalk—but this was money well spent, not gained.

I've found that a koi fish beret will bring many compliments.

A 'must buy', if you ask me.

(2) The Butterfly Necklace

I'm not one to throw unnecessary shade at the process of money-making, because it's a difficult business we all have to go through. But this? I might have a few things to say that might sound critical, because this was a fashion flop.

In my personal opinion, this was not worth it.

The necklace was nice, and so was the butterfly, but the product was a lot less shiny than it looked in the picture. In fact, it didn't look like the picture. The jewels were tiny, and the metal was a rusty-sort-of color that I would not recommend wearing around town.

But this is just my experience, and maybe it'll be suited to tastes other than my own. I can be picky.

(3) The Bread Shoes

You probably shouldn't ask why I bought these.

I'll tell it to you anyways, considering you're still reading this Op-Ed, and you might be moderately interested.

I like bread, you see, and Pinterest apparently knows that. I was scrolling through my homepage—occasionally pinning posts I found cute—but then I saw this. The bread shoes. The 'yeast' thing I could do was buy it, right? (I hope you got a loaf of that joke, hah!).

And, my friends, I am proud to tell you that this was a fantastic buy.

I'm so incredibly enthusiastic about it, I decided to run into my closet and retrieve these slippers while I finished typing this up! Personally, I think this is great, and if you have the money to spare, you should go for it.

But this is where I feel I should end this ramble of the written word, because I'm now in the mood to buy something online. Does this go against all of my previous statements about will-power? Yes, yes it does.

But this fashionista has to get her fashion somewhere.

I wish you luck on all your future buys, and I hope you never fall victim to a scam—I've been lucky thus far.